Some very personal thoughts on feeling powerless – come walk with me.

Can I tell you a story?…..one you might know some of….but not all of…one that you may never have heard at all. It’s a story just like everyone else’s….but I just really want you to understand where I am coming from. I think I suffer the most when I believe that I am powerless…when I tell myself that I am powerless….when I behave as if I am powerless. I think we all suffer so much when we believe the lie that we are powerless over our situations, feelings and even what is happening in the world. WE MUST STEP INTO OUR BEAUTIFUL POWER.

-can I tell you a story

 

collages from “THE WALK” click HERE to learn more

-I am rooting for you horizontal

At the core of me….I’m a pretty simple gal……….I love to garden and I live in the country. I have a simple life and a big family……I usually have paint on my hands and I do most of my work sitting on my sofa with my kids and husband around me. I love my family more than anything in the world. I have fought a hard battle to keep my family intact and I would do it again as many times as it would take.

-- melody ross gardening

 

- -melody cairns

But there was a time….when I let myself get sucked into a pretty chaotic lifestyle. For years…and years…and years. I believed the lie that to be valuable, loved and worthy….that I had to win the sparkly prizes and have the perfect body and have the perfect home….then it moved to even more things….a successful business…a traveling career…and so on…and on…and on………

--melody in convertible

 

--20melodysurtex

I did pretty well in all of those games….and I had many wonderful experiences….but it never seemed to be enough.  I spent more than a decade trying to win the ‘ring toss’ I would win at something….but I still felt like I would not be valuable, loved or worthy unless I climbed a little higher…it was a trick…..and I fell for it.

more more more faster faster faster

collages from “THE WALK” click HERE to learn more

I felt like I was doing it for my family…..one more month, one more year….one more gig…one more deal……then I will slow down….

you need to appear perfect

I would tell you the whole years-long story….but it would take way too many days…but….some things happened that brought the whole house of cards down down down down down……..and then set it on fire. And then sued me for what I still owed on that house of cards……and then came and cut down my trees and kicked my dog and threw rotten apples at me as I hung my head on the way out of town. Oh the shame. Oh the pain. Oh the spinning. My journey even took my husband from me for 5-6 years of hell….and everything else crashed on top of it. I didn’t know that this was my chance to get out of the chaos…..and I got in even deeper…….made a lot of really unfortunate choices.

I can take you to the next level

But I lost those games too……..

Suddenly……I lost all of those things that gave me a ticket to belong.

…and then the lies really took hold.

I believed all of that stuff that I got told when I was on the ladder, standing in line at the carnival of chaos, and running running running to all of those places where I was told I was supposed to be if I was valuable, loved and worthy. The thing is…I was listening to the wrong voices.

clown carnie better win

 

collages from “THE WALK” click HERE to learn more

teddy bear

I lost it all, you see. We lost everything, all of those pink teddybear prizes from the Carnival of Chaos….we lost all of them…….

….and when I tried to get out….the lies got louder…

I made you who you are

 

collages from “THE WALK” click HERE to learn more

you are trapped here

psycho lady

it was a looooooooong residency in the Carnival of Chaos……..but through a long string of tough journeys, and a whole lot of miracles…I finally found my way out. And yes…we lost everything…we walked away from everything…

…but we found everything that matters. I sure don’t want to go back there to learn it again though…I want to be wise. I know you want to be wise too.

There’s that quiet little place that we often overlook, sometimes take for granted…..and never realize how valuable it is until we deeply know the alternative…that place where messages and words are quietly spoken…and where it is always our choice to take them or leave them…….

that’s what we call  “THE CAMPFIRE”

There are some things in life that we just have to learn on our own. Alone….just us. We can be surrounded by people, and surrounded by books, and surrounded by leaders, and surrounded by scripture, and surrounded with advice and surrounded by all sorts of roadsigns and still………..we have to learn some things on our own. These times are hard…but they HELP US WITH EVERY SINGLE DAY THAT WE LIVE AFTER THAT….and they help us to help others. We get to live the life that we are meant to live….a life where we are all just learning, growing, and helping each other along……The Campfire Life.

-that must have been hard

collages from “THE WALK” click HERE to learn more

Sometimes we have to learn the same sorts of lessons over and over and over again in different ways. I like to think that we are soooo loved that our Creator never gives up on us….but keeps going with all of the lessons until we get it. Til we choose not to suffer…til we dodge all of the balls of suffering and choose instead the trails that lead to joy….then ultimately, create brand new trails that lead to joy……joy trailblazers.

-i notice the quiet little things you do

collages from “THE WALK” click HERE to learn more

I KNOW you have been through experiences just like these…or maybe you are in a sort of Carnival of Chaos right now. I soooooo want for you to understand that YOU ARE NOT POWERLESS. I AM NOT POWERLESS. NONE OF US ARE POWERLESS.

We can make choices every day…little choices and big choices and easy choices and difficult choices…….choices that many others are not brave enough to make. Choices to slow down, gather your beloveds, embrace the beautiful little miracles all around you, work on your soul and help others…….things that bring real, lasting happiness that does not have to be paid for, that does not go out of style, that does not get rated……and that does not require a membership or a ticket to “belong”.

I walked away from the Carnival of Chaos and I never want to go back………… through all sorts of miracles, I was given the chance to create a new life, the life that was waiting for me to notice it and step into it.

family 2012

IT IS THE REAL GOOD LIFE. The people you love you most MISS YOU and want you with them…..they want you happy, at peace……they just want YOU.

-campfire map

 

collages from “THE WALK” click HERE to learn more

I invite you to go on a walk with me to find out what the good life means for you………..because it is different for all of us……it is the best thing in the world.

-campfire carnival side by side

Jump off the crazy train…..step away from the Carnival of Chaos…….join us at the Campfire. This journey starts in a week…please just check it out…I promise it will be one of the very best things you do for yourself and everyone you love. I’m going to tell you stories from my carnival that have never been told…and all about my journey to the campfire…..we will make all sorts of collaged maps and you will leave with a guidebook of your very own maps for your beautiful life that is waiting for you.

Please….just check it out. CLICK HERE and it will take you there.

xoxo

melody

Brave Girls Club - THE WALK - online course

 

 

Comments

  1. Solita says

    Wow! I am doing the Brene Brown ecourse at the moment, I think I would be a bit overwhelmed to do both courses as well as be present in all of my other roles in my journey.
    It DOES sound awesome though!
    Go for it!

  2. Diane Joy says

    vulnerability hangover……..LOVE that phrase…..I knew EXACTLY what you meant when you said it……and have had so many of these that I quit being vulnerable……….in the process of course…..I shut down……..I want to learn how to be vulnerable again…..can it be done without the hangover though please……..not sure I can do that anymore. I hope to join you in the class.

  3. wendy taylor says

    Melody … this is very therapeutic … art and words can be so healing … It is a coming home to the fire within. Love it. I will try to do this one for me … feeling the same way at this point in my 54 year old life … everything is falling away … Thanks

  4. Stacey Daze says

    *tears* I’m not able to sign up for the Walk at this time, but this post is the one that had made me want it more than I thought I did. Your words here have helped me to focus a little more. I got scatted and started searching for what I had, thinking it wasn’t enough and I needed more. But maybe I don’t. Maybe I don’t.

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