Many of you know that this week I made a video (here) in an effort to get a scholarship from Marie Forleo’s b-school (find out about b-school here) . Today the results are in…and I wasn’t on the list. So I won’t be attending b-school this year, but that doesn’t make this whole experience a loss…let me tell you why….
First a little background…
Last summer I gave birth to our 4th child… our first child was still squarely in the middle of his 4th year… so we had four kids ages 4, 2, 1 and newborn (we still have them…they’re just a little older) :). To say it was overwhelming is like saying you might be overwhelmed trying to keep track of a flock of chickens in a department store. It was hard. It is hard.
To combat those feelings of overwhelm and exhaustion, I started walking in the mornings. It was something small…it took me about an hour to go 4 miles…while the sun was coming up and the birds were singing. My biggest problem during my walks was that I sometimes had to walk waaay around the neighbor’s sprinklers…no big deal. Nobody crying, nobody hungry, nobody hitting or fighting or melting down…just me and my thoughts.
I thought about a lot of things on those walks. I thought about what I wanted to accomplish in that day and in my life. I thought about what I wanted to create. I thought about the people I loved who were going through hard things, and people I loved who had already been through hard things. As I reflected on that…the people I loved and their hard things…I wished that they didn’t have to suffer, but I also felt deeply deeply grateful for their experiences. They made me feel safe, which sounds confusing…let me explain…
A few years ago, my husband and I struggled financially. We struggled bad. It was hard, but you know what made it easier? We were just a step or two behind some of our most beloveds. They’d been there. We watched them go through it joyfully and come out okay on the other side. So I knew that no matter what we faced financially, we could do it happily. I knew that losing everything didn’t really mean losing anything important at all…the people who went through it first taught me that and it made my path brighter.
There are a lot of things that don’t go the way we plan in life…what I know for sure is that when you feel like your world is ending, then see someone whose been to the end of the world and made it back…life feels a little easier…the sun shines a little brighter and you feel like you have something to hold onto when you thought everything had been taken away.
It was as I took those walks that I started wishing that everyone had a place to turn to. What if every single person knew exactly where to go to find someone who had already been down paths that look dark and impossible…impassable even. That’s how The Brave Girl Post was born.
At the end of the summer my sweetest, smartest husband Jeff (Brave Dude), helped me build it. And it’s starting to fill up with those stories. You good-hearted, loving Brave Girls have shared your stories so freely and so lovingly. And for every story that has been shared, I know there are at least a million that could be…I know that so many of your hearts are full of stories that you are ready to tell. So many of you have created your author accounts and are just looking for the time and words to put your hearts on paper, and that fills me up more than I could ever say.
On Monday I asked for your help…I asked you to watch my little video because part of the scholarship instructions said that views and comments and ‘likes’ would help. I was expecting a few hundred people to help me. You overwhelmed me with your love. I was shocked at how many of you watched it and how many of you took a minute to leave comments and cheerlead me and love me. I can still feel all of that as if I am feeling it for the first time.
I couldn’t possibly say ‘thank you’ enough for that. What you gave me was a true treasure and gift. It feels like sunshine on my face after 100 days of winter.
So even though I didn’t get the scholarship, and for a minute I felt defeated and sad, what I see now is the enormous miracle your love is. And that winning or losing are teeny tiny little things compared to being loved and supported and lifted up. From the very bottom of my heart, thank you, for believing in me. Thank you for believing in The Brave Girl Post. Thank you for participating in it…for sharing your stories and your hearts. I will never forget the beautiful gift you’ve given me.
Scholarship or not (in this case, not), Brave Girls Club and The Brave Girl Post will keep moving forward, keep growing and keep getting brighter and more beautiful because of the miracle you’ve shown me this week…that miracle is love. We’ll do it together.
Thank you for walking with me….