Something that seems really super duper cruel when it feels like your own life is falling apart…is that all around you life is going on. And something that feels ultra super merciful and kind when your life feels like it is falling apart…is that life goes on. It depends on the moment and it depends on the circumstance. Either way….life goes on.
I love that. (and some days I sort of hate it)
Life goes on after death, and life goes on during death. Life goes on after loss and during loss and before loss. Life goes on whether you are holding your breath and making deals and sleeping away the sorrow. Life just goes on. The weeds keep growing and the babies keep growing and the sun still comes up and goes down every day. The news comes on and people still post selfies and there are still sales all over town and people waiting in line for all sorts of stuff at all sorts of places……people are still singing along to the radio in their cars and people are still waiting for the bus on the street and people are still laughing at the movies and people are still falling in love……..no matter how much things have come to a total stop for us….life just keeps going on.
No matter what.
This is something that we can count on. It just is. Life will just keep going on. This means we can take a rest when we need to and things will still keep humming along. This means that the world is not going to fall apart without us. This means that there is a whole lot that keeps this world moving and we are so connected to everything else…..and that when it’s time, we will go on too. As soon as it is time.
And it also means that we need to always remember that tomorrow the kids will be one day older…and while life is going on, they are suddenly 5 years older…and then 10. And sometimes life kept going on while we were busy figuring things out and one day we wake up and we have aged. It’s weird….and it’s awesome and it’s beautiful and it’s perfect and it’s tragic. But no matter what….it IS. Life goes on.
I have cried more in the last 3 months than in most of my life combined. I have cried every single day….about life going on and about life ending and then about life going on even though it ended. It is hard. It is hard to grasp and make sense of.
The same time my dad was dying, my daughter sent me the ultrasound photo of her new baby girl. While there was so much loss this year…..there was also baby Leo being born….and something wonderful about baby Leo is that he has absolutely no idea that ANYONE’S life is falling apart…he’s just a happy happy happy guy when he’s happy and he’s a hungry little guy when he’s hungry and a cranky little guy when he’s tired. He’s just living his life and loving it. Leo has been a lifesaver for about a million reasons. He got his first tooth, and he started crawling, and he learned to belly laugh, and he started eating food from his hand to his mouth. He says mama and dada and no.
He’s not old enough yet to have the mistaken belief that something can happen in life that is big enough for life to not be able to go on.
Please don’t worry, dear friends. No matter what it is. Life goes on…….and even when it feels like it’s going on without you….it’s really just going on FOR YOU so that when you are ready, you’ll be able to jump on and go on too. Sometimes things happen that knock the wind out of us and we think we will never be able to go on…that life will not go on. SO MUCH GOOD is happening simultaneously….right alongside the tragedy, the trauma, the wars, the deaths, the terrorism. SO MUCH GOOD LIFE IS GOING ON ALL AROUND IT. Things are still being planted, and being born. Things are still growing. Things are still being built. People are in love. People are taking good care of each other. People are standing up for each other and protecting each other. Beautiful music is being made. Beautiful art is being made. Beautiful friendships are being made. People are seeing places for the first time. People are doing things for the first time. People are celebrating birthdays and anniversaries and births. LIFE IS GOING ON. Really really really good stuff is going on. Life goes on……because people are awesome.
And whenever we are ready…we can do all of that stuff too….because we are all awesome.
So when it feels like life cannot possibly go on….I promise you….life is still going on. For you. For me. For all of us.
We are all so very loved.