And then there’s the fear of being awesome….

Fear of my potential. I keep thinking about this…..thinking and thinking and thinking about this…and when I really really STOP and JUST think about it, I always find myself really on-edge, sometimes even tearful. Sometimes my hands even start shaking a little when I think about trying to banish it. Because…I am learning…being who I REALLY want to be is my biggest fear. And I am learning what is behind that fear.

I am afraid of the pain that could come from living my potential.

I have a suspicion that this is one of your biggest fears too.

I am a hard worker. I am good learner. I have read HUNDREDS of books to teach me how to do SO MANY THINGS. I KNOW how to do SO MANY THINGS. I have spent thousands of hours practicing so many things, trying so many things, doing so many things. I have built incredible, real, lasting relationships with so many beautiful souls. I have tried a LOT of things…and sometimes those things have been so successful…sometimes those things have lead me to falling flat on my face.

I am capable of so much. So are you. It is incredible, really…just how much we are each capable of. Yet…..we hold back.

I am scared to do so many of the things I am capable of doing. Do you know why? This is really such a dumb reason, but I am going to own it. I am even going to step out of the shame and fear of this realization and tell you what it is.

I am thinking this might be holding you back too and I just want to create a revolution where we all hold hands across the world and stop this nonsense.

Today, I am done. In the post after this one, I am going to proclaim to you what my biggest dreams are and I am going to just banish my fear of proclaiming those dreams out loud. I am going to be ok with being WHO I REALLY WANT TO BE, I am going to finally be ok with living my potential. Will you PLEASE join me????? Let’s all do this together.

But first…that big fear:

Here it is….I know the thoughts that cross my own mind when I am feeling weak and defeated and then see another woman who seems to have it all together. Sometimes, my thoughts are unkind… I have seen what women do to each other when they feel threatened, or jealous or whatever that feeling is. I have even seen women go to the ends of the earth to try to destroy each other. As women…….we have SUCH ENORMOUS CAPACITY to reach into our own hearts and into the hearts of others…this is the great magic we have to heal the world. BUT WITH THAT SAME CAPACITY…we can reach in and destroy each other, BECAUSE we know how to reach all the way in…….we must use this skill SO SACREDLY, with such wisdom and love….

Seems like we only think it’s bad to judge DOWN on someone. By this, I mean….we slap our own hands when we judge someone who is down on their luck…we think…I must help them, I must be kind…I must not judge. I must not judge another who has an addiction or who made wrong choices or who is mentally sick or whose husband left her alone. We stop what we are doing and we decide to be kind.

Why then… we sometimes think it is ok to judge UP. By this, I mean….we judge someone for being successful…we judge someone for ALWAYS being happy….for having great discipline at the gym and with their diet, for having great financial success, for having things together….for having a successful art career or for having a beautiful marriage…..for being a stickler with their boundaries or for putting their beliefs and values first and foremost, especially if those beliefs and values differ from our own. Why is it ok to judge UP?

Well, we all know that it’s not. And…I am going to stop. I have been trying really hard to stop for a long time. I have been trying so hard not to be envious of others…not to draw my own conclusions about someone else’s choices….not to ever fall into the very mistaken and very destructive belief that if we tear another person down, we somehow elevate our own self.

We elevate ourselves by elevating others. THAT is where the magic is…some kind of unseen hands come and lift us ALL up when we are lifting each other up.

As I was writing this post….a song came on my Pandora station that I have never heard before…don’t you love when that happens? I heard some of the words and had to stop and google the lyrics…it is THE PERFECT ending to this post.

No Envy No Fear
Joshua Radin

Some are reaching few are there, want to reign from the heroes chair,
some are scared to fly so high, well this is how we have to try:

Have no envy and no fear, have no envy, no fear

Brother brother we all see, you’re hiding out so painfully,
see yourself come out to play, a lovers rain will wash away

Your envy and your fear,
so have no envy, no fear

When your sister turns to leave, only when she’s most in need,
take away the cause of pain, by showing her we’re all the same.

Have no envy and no fear, have no envy and no fear

Every day we try to find, we search our hearts and our minds,
the place we used to call our home, can’t be found when we’re alone

So have no envy, no fear, have no envy and no fear

Let’s be happy for each other. Let’s cheer each other on. Let’s help each other.

Most of all….let’s do EVERYTHING in our power to live our unique and divine potential. Even if it’s scary….even if the weak and defeated come after us and try to cut us off at the knees…let’s reach down and lift them up too…let’s not be afraid.
Let’s go out and be totally awesome.

I making my plan right now. I am getting ready to do things I have always been scared to do.

I am cheering for you ALL THE WAY.