And then there’s the fear of being awesome….

And then there’s the fear of being awesome….

Fear of my potential. I keep thinking about this…..thinking and thinking and thinking about this…and when I really really STOP and JUST think about it, I always find myself really on-edge, sometimes even tearful. Sometimes my hands even start shaking a little when I think about trying to banish it. Because…I am learning…being who I REALLY want to be is my biggest fear. And I am learning what is behind that fear.

I am afraid of the pain that could come from living my potential.

I have a suspicion that this is one of your biggest fears too.

I am a hard worker. I am good learner. I have read HUNDREDS of books to teach me how to do SO MANY THINGS. I KNOW how to do SO MANY THINGS. I have spent thousands of hours practicing so many things, trying so many things, doing so many things. I have built incredible, real, lasting relationships with so many beautiful souls. I have tried a LOT of things…and sometimes those things have been so successful…sometimes those things have lead me to falling flat on my face.

I am capable of so much. So are you. It is incredible, really…just how much we are each capable of. Yet…..we hold back.

I am scared to do so many of the things I am capable of doing. Do you know why? This is really such a dumb reason, but I am going to own it. I am even going to step out of the shame and fear of this realization and tell you what it is.

I am thinking this might be holding you back too and I just want to create a revolution where we all hold hands across the world and stop this nonsense.

Today, I am done. In the post after this one, I am going to proclaim to you what my biggest dreams are and I am going to just banish my fear of proclaiming those dreams out loud. I am going to be ok with being WHO I REALLY WANT TO BE, I am going to finally be ok with living my potential. Will you PLEASE join me????? Let’s all do this together.

But first…that big fear:

Here it is….I know the thoughts that cross my own mind when I am feeling weak and defeated and then see another woman who seems to have it all together. Sometimes, my thoughts are unkind… I have seen what women do to each other when they feel threatened, or jealous or whatever that feeling is. I have even seen women go to the ends of the earth to try to destroy each other. As women…….we have SUCH ENORMOUS CAPACITY to reach into our own hearts and into the hearts of others…this is the great magic we have to heal the world. BUT WITH THAT SAME CAPACITY…we can reach in and destroy each other, BECAUSE we know how to reach all the way in…….we must use this skill SO SACREDLY, with such wisdom and love….

Seems like we only think it’s bad to judge DOWN on someone. By this, I mean….we slap our own hands when we judge someone who is down on their luck…we think…I must help them, I must be kind…I must not judge. I must not judge another who has an addiction or who made wrong choices or who is mentally sick or whose husband left her alone. We stop what we are doing and we decide to be kind.

Why then… we sometimes think it is ok to judge UP. By this, I mean….we judge someone for being successful…we judge someone for ALWAYS being happy….for having great discipline at the gym and with their diet, for having great financial success, for having things together….for having a successful art career or for having a beautiful marriage…..for being a stickler with their boundaries or for putting their beliefs and values first and foremost, especially if those beliefs and values differ from our own. Why is it ok to judge UP?

Well, we all know that it’s not. And…I am going to stop. I have been trying really hard to stop for a long time. I have been trying so hard not to be envious of others…not to draw my own conclusions about someone else’s choices….not to ever fall into the very mistaken and very destructive belief that if we tear another person down, we somehow elevate our own self.

We elevate ourselves by elevating others. THAT is where the magic is…some kind of unseen hands come and lift us ALL up when we are lifting each other up.

As I was writing this post….a song came on my Pandora station that I have never heard before…don’t you love when that happens? I heard some of the words and had to stop and google the lyrics…it is THE PERFECT ending to this post.

No Envy No Fear
Joshua Radin

Some are reaching few are there, want to reign from the heroes chair,
some are scared to fly so high, well this is how we have to try:

Have no envy and no fear, have no envy, no fear

Brother brother we all see, you’re hiding out so painfully,
see yourself come out to play, a lovers rain will wash away

Your envy and your fear,
so have no envy, no fear

When your sister turns to leave, only when she’s most in need,
take away the cause of pain, by showing her we’re all the same.

Have no envy and no fear, have no envy and no fear

Every day we try to find, we search our hearts and our minds,
the place we used to call our home, can’t be found when we’re alone

So have no envy, no fear, have no envy and no fear

Let’s be happy for each other. Let’s cheer each other on. Let’s help each other.

Most of all….let’s do EVERYTHING in our power to live our unique and divine potential. Even if it’s scary….even if the weak and defeated come after us and try to cut us off at the knees…let’s reach down and lift them up too…let’s not be afraid.
Let’s go out and be totally awesome.

I making my plan right now. I am getting ready to do things I have always been scared to do.

I am cheering for you ALL THE WAY.


  1. janet says

    wow, I love your catch phrase judging up. I have been guilty of doing this until I was the person who was up and it happened to me. then I got to see both sides of the coin. thanks for opening the discussion and for making it clear. thank you. now I will ask god to show me why we all do this so I can help myself and others. thank you melody. thank you..

  2. Lois says

    Wow! Awesome! This really spoke to me. I am SO guilty of this. I try very hard not to judge those who are down and ou,t but I find myself putting down others who are happy and making something of themselves, trying hard, being faithful. They are what I want to be. Thank you for inspiring me to change that behavior. I have a mother-in-law who only sees the good in people. When you complain about someone, she finds something good to say about them. I think instead of criticizing her for that, I will try to be more like her. I want to be happy for those who are happy. And try to get there myself. Thank you for writing this.

  3. Sabrina K says

    Thank you Melody for your courage!
    On so many occasions throughout my life I have felt the judgement because I had ‘too much joy jam’. My lightness of being was resented and over time I began to believe that I was wrong because they believed I was wrong. Thankfully, I’m learning not to judge them and to also be brave enough to just be me. Yes, I want to support you and love you and help you be the best that you can be. Thanks Melody for having created and designed a place where we can all feel safe to say some of the things we think and feel. A place where we can empower our souls and therefore be able to rest more easily!

  4. Niki in Baltimore says

    I have had people tell me that i am too cheerful.
    Too cheerful???
    This post really touches on the negativity we can have towards each other.
    I agree to be with you instead of against you.
    I agree to help and support not only every woman, but every person i meet.
    Thanks for building a place where we can find strength in each other to be better people.

  5. Heather says

    I ran across this today and this is EXACTLY the kind of thing I needed to find. Thank you so much for the encouragement and wisdom…and these glorious happy tears in my eyes that know I am about to embark on such an incredible journey and NOTHING can hold me back.

  6. Janie says

    It’s exactly how I feel and have felt so many times in my life! Why can’t we all just get along! At times I have thought it was a cultural thing but no, it affects every woman regardless of age, race or social status. We need to sincerely cheer each other UP during those GOOD times we have and not just during the bad ones:)

  7. fran says

    A friend I respect and love, has repeatedly said to me”Don’t compare your insides to someone else’s outsides”
    I think that sums it up for me.

  8. says

    You have no idea how much I needed to hear this today. I am brilliant at what I do, so scared of failing but it makes sense that I am scared of my own brilliance.

  9. says

    Thank you so much for this post. It was exactly what I needed to hear. I have shared some of your thoughts over at my blog. I hope you don’t mind! Thanks again!

  10. says

    This is EXACTLY what I’ve been trying to express to my close friends for the past few months and I could never put it into the right words. You did it beautifully and you have inspired me!! I am wondering if you would mind me quoting you on my blog and then linking back here? I want others to be inspired and understand where I’m coming from :) Beautiful, beautiful!!!!!

  11. Diane Costanza says

    I relate t this sooo much! I vow to stop judging up and to only cheer the woman next to me!


  12. says

    Yes Melody, you do read minds, and hearts. I was just cleaning up my bookmarks, this site popped up almost by itself, and I read. And if I wasn’t so tired, I’d probably be crying right now. It’s as if I found this site all over again, and its full of 50 somethings like me, although girls of any age need to be brave. I’ll be back tomorrow to check more of this out, and I think this might be just what I need, even if I can’t afford to go to camp !

  13. Linda says

    OMG! Melody, you are able to read our minds!!!!!!! I can’t believe how wonderful and BRAVE it is of you to write this post! Thank you, thank you, thank you! You just acknowledged the elephant in the room;D

  14. basicelements2fireclay says

    I feel such a connection to all of the women here. No matter where we are at on our path we can come together and support each other. I have tried over the last few years to stop the judging (either Up or Down) that comes from my ego, but sometimes that ugly green monster does pop up. But I will pledge to be on the look-out even more for this negative part of me.
    I think we judge-up when we think that there is only so much to go around. If “she” suceeds at her (art, writing, life, marriage, business) the there is no place for me at the top. Which isn’t true because this world has unlimited possiblities. Look around at all that has been created, there is enough room for all of us. When we help each other and support the people around us it only makes us stronger.
    I also have a fear of suceeding, I have seen successful people that are not happy with there lives and growing up around it has made me fearful of it.. So I have been poor and mostly happy for awhile. But I don’t want to live this way anymore. I can be sucessful and be happy can’t I? I don’t want to hold in the power of what I can be anymore, I want to let my light shine. I know that other people have done it and have helped other people, I want to do the same. I just get SO stuck in my own head. I need to finish my SR lessons and use the tools that I have learned.
    I have been hurt by women I have trusted. I let someone in and trusted them for so long, then they used my fears against me to tell me I was weak. It’s not the first time, but you keep trusting -don’t you? I don’t want to close my heart because I have been hurt, if I do, I cannot help myself or anyone else.
    So I trust again, you women who have trusted me, can I take your hands and together we build a strong chain that cannot be broken and that can change the world? All equal, all different, all strong individuals, even stronger together. -thank you all -stacey

  15. says

    Since a recent tragedy in my life, I have had a very hard time feeling joy for other people’s happinesses. I am really trying very hard to get past that, and am hoping that it will diminish with time. Soul Restoration has been a big help along the way. Thank you.

  16. krissi57 says

    Wow…you really struck a nerve with this post Melody! I am 53 and on a huge journey of discovery. A journey to heal after the death of my husband. I am reaching out and grabbing a dream. One I thought was impossible to accomplish. I have huge fears… I am walking among professional artists and that internal voice keeps saying “You are not good enough… You will never make it…” I have discovered this week that I am good enough. I am worth fighting for. I am blessed. Thank you for this post… I will happily join with you on this journey !!! I so love Brave Girls Club and can’t wait to join you and many other beautiful souls for Soul Restoration. I’m so ready… to be BRAVE… face those fears,iinsecurities and fly !!! Hugs… Kris

  17. Frankie Weber says

    You either approach life with Fear or Love…..unfortunately fear has ruled my life….I am going try LOVE for awhile.

  18. Lanette says

    Hi-5’ing you on such a great article and for your words of wisdom and leadership – I’ll be adding your “Elevation Thoughts” to my book tonight – wahooo !! I love reminders that come along to get me back on track : )

    I once had the privilege to hear Donna Brazille cover the same topic.

    A Quote from her: “Failure. It doesn’t exist. ‘Failure’ is just what happens when we lose perspective. I thought I’d failed when I got fired as deputy field director for the Dukakis campaign. If I’d known then that I NEEDED to go through that in order to be READY to manage the Gore campaign, I would’ve seen it for what it was: an unavoidable low point, no more or less important than the experiences I call successes.”

    Thank you Melody for sharing a piece of your heart with us <3 !!

  19. says

    That is just how I feel today too. We are awesome. I think we just don’t tell ourselves often enough. We need to cheer on each other. Encouragement can go along way and has a way of bouncing back at us.
    Thank you for this post.

  20. says

    There is not a single person in the world who can take the beauty of who you are away from you. For most of my life the recognition of something I have accomplished has come with a, “That’s nice. However, you should have….” , or, “I would have done it this way….”
    You can fill in the blanks. Everything came with a judgement. So there were times when I stopped- everything. If I’m not doing things well enough, why would I bother doing them at all, right?
    That’s all changed over the past year and a half. It never really occured to me before but, being ME is enough. It isn’t so much what I do, it’s who I am that matters. The things that we do are just extensions of who we are. Everyone has incredible potential within them, and sometimes they just need a little help finding it. I did. Tapping into that potential makes you do brave things. Scary things. Things that you would never in a million years think of doing. Pushing yourself to the outer limits of your comfort zone and finding out that it’s bigger than you thought it was afterall. Once we see that potential in ourselves, it is easier to see, and appreciate, it in others. It is then we begin to travel the road together.
    I am grateful that, on this enormous, winding road in cyber space, our paths have crossed. :)

  21. Holy Schmidt says

    Melody: I heard you stop yourself and cover up your next big dream on the last video and smiled because I know what that’s like. This post really speaks to me – I get that tendency and the fear of success and of living up to my full potential. It’s my stopping-place fear. Failure is OK – it’s safe, been there, done that. But success….that doesn’t feel safe, I fear turning the stage light switch on and never being able to turn it off again.

    And this post spoke to me because I’m reading Pema Chodron’s work now and her Buddhist teachings on the four limitless powers – love, compassion, sympathetic joy (cheering brave girls on when they are UP and celebrating), and equanimity. It takes a whole lot of bravery to focus on these 4 things.

    I Love the idea of a movement geared towards cheering on all our Hey Sister, Soul Sisters – Yes to that!

  22. says

    At 54 years old, I too am learning to be a “Brave Girl”…Life has so many interesting bends in the road, and challenges that at times seem so overwhelming. But..for some of value the importance of baby steps is essential…Thank you for your wonderful post..Until we find the freedom within ourselves to reach out and encourage others….We will never know the true JOY and FULLFILLMENT that comes by embracing someone else and encouraging them in their dreams….Enjoying the Journey.

    • says

      grace October 31, 2012 – 4:02 am I was moved by this message I beielve in GOD of course it this strengthened my belief that trulyHE is there for anyone who needs or seeks help and even to those who never beielve in HIS existence. Regret on living a life like what Dr.Teo had But regret of not having GOD in his life while living it. Actually I admire Dr.Teo for accepting his faults and having the courage to share it to us .My deepest sympathy to the family and friends for your loss but I know he is with our creator now and happy to have renewed his faith in HIM. May your good soul rest in peace.

  23. says

    This is so beautifully put! I can’t tell you how many times I’ve thought “Why can’t we embrace this together?!?!”. Thank you for posting this and I know that I will make an extra effort to apply this to my life. I wish more women would do the same.

  24. says

    I have to chuckle as I’m wondering what could be more brave and wonderful than what you’re already doing. You go girl! And I will try and remember… I know FOR SURE that there are a few people I regularly associate with who judge UP in terms of what they think of me. Jealousy hurts. It really does. We as women can feel it. I feel badly when I know people are putting themselves down because they don’t do X like I do. It makes me not want to be great at all, for fear of hurting their feelings…for fear of the ugliness that comes when they can’t contain their jealousy anymore. I am saddened to think that I am frequently also on the jealousy end of things. I will try so much harder not to be.

  25. Dorie says

    Not only am I afraid to really shine, but I don’t even know where to begin! I am nearly 62 years old. I have been unemployed for almost 2 years and unable to find a job. My unemployment has run out. I have no medical insurance. My two homes (yes, once I could afford 2 homes) are both going into foreclosure. Could it get any worse? You bet! All of these setbacks have completely flipped me over. I’m feel like a dirty puddle in the road. But all fear of poverty and of being homeless and hopeless are nearly gone, except for the fear of shining. I want to come back stronger than ever from all of this, but I have no idea how to begin. But I want to shine! I do not want to be defeated! I love Marianne Williamson’s quote above, per Shannan’s blog. And I appreciate all of the comments from you gals. I think that of all the worst things that can happen to us, “fear” may be the most debilitating. I’m going to post this all over my house, my car, and on my forehead…NO FEAR!

  26. Annie Harris says

    …oh my Miss Melody you have done it again…you have been tuning that guitar haven’t you! No truer words written…and what you and Brave Girls and Soul Restoration have brought to each of us is, hopefully, to know our very own full and most fabulous “AWESOMENESS” and run towards it and grasp it and hug it and never never never let it go…

    …no blame no shame no fears no tears…just Truth—have an wonderful weekend in that beautiful state you call home! Peace…

  27. Cindy Nolt says

    Wow!! Melody-you have an incredible way of sharing your light by being open, raw and real-THANK YOU!
    This has been an issue for me all the 54 years of my life…..I am terrified of being my full, beautiful self. I constantly downplay my own knowledge, wisdom, and light for fear of intimidating others, for fear of pushing them away……and yet, isn’t it entirely possible that I push them away by making them feel that it is wrong to be the full and wondrous gift to the universe that we all are when we live our full potential?
    I am confused, and scared, and can’t even get to the tears place…..
    I am sending love, and peace, and dances of joy to every brave girl around the world…….like others i put my brave girl work on hold………..time to continue my soul restoration….my soul is aching……..hugs to all xxoo

  28. JenniferD says

    I have felt this way for a long time. I have never been able to understand why women can be so terrible at cheering each other on. Surrounding myself with women who do that has been no easy task and I have ranted for years about what a shame it is. Thank you for writing on this topic.

  29. Debra says

    Oh Melody. thank you for being such a blessing and listening to your truthteller. The WORLD is in transition, and through your awesome work, each one of us, will make the world whole. We are all broken. I thank GOD every Day for YOU being in my life and I am holding hands with all the other brave girls. from my heart to yours. love and peace.

    Stopped my soul restoration at week three. Am returning to week one today. Such glorious lessons. I was fearful of being all I am capable of. I cried one day, when I realized I COULD have everything my heart desires. thank you, thank you, thank you for being this blessing.

  30. says

    Thank you so much for saying this! I used to be in exactly the same position always judging UP. Once I got over it (well it sometimes rears it’s head every now and then) I decided to help and encourage others by by motivating them on the path to running a successful business. I do this through my business and also through a local Mums in business group. Fear is the biggest thing stopping us from DOING. It’s time to shake off the fear of what we can achieve or what people will think when we do reach our goals and JUST DO IT!

  31. says

    What a beautiful post….so powerful….so true. I am one of those women who cheers for others. Amen to everything you wrote…it’s about time we all support each other and help each other rise to our potential. LOVE this!!!

  32. Jo-Jo Wilson says

    I have been a Happy Mom 24 (5 including dh) that when I say I-this person truly does not even know who I is…..Don’t get me wrong but as the Happy Mom of 4 boys (27,25,24, and 16) somehow I have gotten lost and the only identity I have is Happy Mom 24 boys….As you can see this identity is all too rapidly closing in on me :( I am not even sure what or if the next chapter of my life is…I have so gotten lost…I try to dream and it just does not happen…I only know that I want to leave this What a Wonderful World better than I found it :) In the midst of all of this my dear sweet hubby is starting his 38th month of chemo for colon/liver cancer….However, this is not sad-oh NO-in Jan 2008 the Dr.’s told him he only had 6 months to live….So we are truly living each and every day as if it is a gift because-HaHa, It is! I would absolutely love this opportunity to find me again….LOVE, LOVE, LOVE Brave Girls Club! Thank Yall! What Yall do MATTERS!

  33. says


  34. says

    Thank you! this is a part of me that I have been working on for a while now, I think its amazing when we come to the cross roads and see our house sitting on the side of the road taking a walk into each each room and we start to ask ourself so many questions, this is were I am today my friend and I thank you for reafirming to me that all of my sisters are beautiful and AWESOME :)

  35. Serena says

    Thank you, thank you, thank you for this post! It is absolutely what I needed to hear today. Feeling really low and down on myself, knowing in my heart that I can be so much more, but yet afraid to let that light shine.
    I’m ready to join the revolution Melody! By your side and by the side of all the amazing gals you touch on a daily basis.
    Thank you for being you.


  36. says

    Thankyou Melody, you ALWAYS have encouraging words and it’s good to know that we ALL struggle! Yes we should be Cheering eachother on!!!
    GO Brave Girls GO!!! lol!

  37. says

    Wow I cannot believe you said what you said and it was like I was saying it. I have always been so afraid to be who I think I really could be and to show the world my real potential. that fear is horrendous…how do we get rid of it. I am right there with you!

  38. Marian H says

    Wonderful post. Had some of those green monster envious feelings just last night at a wonderful event put on by a wonderful woman. Thanks to your words this morning, I’m going to write her a note telling her how much I loved being there last night.
    Big Hug to Denise!

  39. says

    i was totally gonna share that quote by marianne williamson, but shanon tuebner beat me to it! it is from the book “return to love.”

    i also feel that mel must have written this just for me! :) i feel that way with most my little daily truths!!!

    to larisa…………….. may i recommend watching brene brown’s t.e.d. post? you can find it on youtube.

  40. Danette Serr says

    Denise Locke

    I worked for a year for a very cruel man. I went to work everyday with a pit in my stomach and feeling like I was worth nothing. Completly out of the blue one day he let me go, no warning, no nothing. I am single with no other support coming in. I was devasted. I worry about my future but I am taking it day by day but one thing I do not miss is the belittlement everyday. I breath alot easier everyday and do not live in the fear of him making me feel unworthy.. That is worth a million bucks.

    Prayers to you

  41. Danette Serr says

    Melody, I find this post so odd, well not odd but mmm not sure the word I want to use.

    I look at you and think wow she is so pretty, she dresses sooooooooooooo cool. Her house looks so cool, she has lovely children and good looking husband. She is creative, she is musical, she has friends. I am in awe of you and what you are doing for so many women around the world. I would never think you had any fear or insecurities. Yet, the beauty of you is you share those things with all of us brave girls and you make us see it is ok. We can all just be. Brave Girls and your honesty have saved my life. Thank you for being you.


  42. Jen Osborn says

    Oh goodness! How I needed to read this today. One of my biggest fears … I mean the really big one that never fails to bring tears to MY eyes is the fear of being TOO successful. Having all these obligations I can’t or don’t want to meet. The expectation that I must keep producing … writing … making … being awesome. What if I start out great, and then fall flat on my face? What if they want me to travel? What if I have to write articles or make things that don’t speak to my heart?

    All these silly things keep me from being the big huge awesome me I know is in there. I’m going to work on not being so afraid of being awesome. If I can’t live up to the obligations then oh well … right?


  43. Melissa says

    Excellent post! I’ll be reading more than once I’m sure!!! I appreciated your transparency. That in itself is brave!

  44. says

    I will sister!! Have experienced being “put down” so I can totally relate!!

    Will share on FB too! :)

    Oh, saw this via Marcie fb page…

  45. says


    I love this post. So poignant and sincere. I think about this a lot. The need and importan ce cheering women on, but I too struggle with judging up. I have written this on my heart, and will strive to not only encourage and allow women to be awesome, but also allow and encourage myself to be awesome without fear of judgment.

    Thank you for this post :)

  46. Nathalie says

    So true So true… It is so easy to help someone when they are down but so easy to judge and tear down when they have it al going for them. I too am guilty.. so today with you , I vow to cheer my fell women on…

  47. Larisa says

    Today being my birthday, it seems like a great place to start. Why can’t I be happy? Why do I constantly live in fear of somethinhg bad is going to happen – seriously…constantly I think about stuff. I seem to keep dwelling on the things that “were” and beating myself up for them…instead of trying to keep my mind on the “here and now”. Does anyone else beat themselves up for failing? Why can’t I stop doing that? Why do I feel the darkness of depression looming — again — right over my head?

    Even when things go okay or right, I don’t enjoy it. I just stand there in disbelief that good things are happening. No…no…surely” this good thing” will go away, I just know it. So if I prepare myself for that, it won’t seem as terrible when the bad thing happens…..right? I’ve been this way for sooooo long. It’s so hard to get away from it. So as I physically struggle to get up each morning wondering why I hurt so bad (doctor says its probably rheumatory arthritis)….how is it that I actually GET UP??

    Maybe I do have fight left in me?

    My husband is there to help me..he says he is…. I need to help myself. Somehow I’ve got to figure out a way to start. Wow, so I just dumped my emotions out in front of a bunch of people. I do feel kinda better though…. Alrighty then! :)

    Thank you Melody — for being you :) Somehow you know just what to say and when to say it. How do you do that!? :)

  48. says

    Couldnt have been said better. It makes me so sad, when women tear each other down or can’t even cheer each other on when they succeed. Especially knowing how tough it is for all of us to be brave enough to believe in our dreams.

  49. says

    I am ready to fess up my fears…
    I am ready to reach for my dreams and kick fear to the curb…
    I am ready to hold hands with all of you
    and I am ready for a revolution!
    Love you Mel!

  50. Emily says

    Melody, I am cheering you on, and I am going to try not to let my deepest fear from stopping me anymore, it is time to be me, not who I think people want me to be.

  51. Pippa says

    Love these words, we so need to take heed of these in our lives for we are Brave Girls if we but listen and not judge. <3

  52. maria labrou says

    That was an amazing story to read.Are you don’t know me?
    I have felt scared of being judged,when i am out I am confident & then i go home look in the mirror & say to myself “what were you thinking” I feel I should’nt shine & be confident because of a huge rejection in my life!
    I feel like I should be a beautiful car, that everyone admires, except me. I was someone who couldn’t wait to get to the grand prix, but I only half a quarter of a tank of petrol( my low self esteem,from the men in my life). I have done all the polishing on the outside, cut the rust on the inside and worked hard to learn the full potential of my magnificent engine, that God blessed me with.But nothing tells me I deserve to shine! thank you Melody for that story, all the best girl! You too Denise,wow!
    I have had many admirers on the way, met many a beautful angels as well. I feel more comfortable admiring people, than being admired. I feel guilty, that I want to move forward.
    Why is this, when I have so many positive friends & have read so many good books, and yet here I am ? I could easily write a volume of books from 1-10 of all my life,that has been extraordinary

  53. says



    Sending hugs and love to you!


    ps….Joshua Radin is one of my favs….he’s easy on the eyes too!! ; )

  54. Debbie says

    WOW! What timely & truth-filled words!!! I completely understand how Denise feels. I have felt mis-understood, defeated, de-valued, etc…. especially at work. Plus, there are some relationships I have that either I have to re-evaluate, go into with or from a different perspective, or I have to simply walk away. I think I have not dug down deep to find the courage to be strong and true to myself and in turn try to be better than I have to uplift others.
    I really want to make 2011 the start of a new endeavor for me. Thanks for reminding me that we all can do and be better . Thanks Melody :)

  55. says

    Reminds me of this quote…I had to share it with you:

    Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us most. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and famous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that people won’t feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in all of us. And when we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

    -Marianne Williamson
    Used by Nelson Mandela in his 1994 inaugural speech

  56. MichelleE says

    Wow, what an awesome post Melody. I could have written this myself! Going through and feeling the same exact things. I’m going to make a plan too!

  57. Monica says

    Dear Melody
    I know you wrote this for me, right?LOL! This is my life you are writing about. Always wanting to do my best, in a world that isn’t always as support as they could be. I am going to share this with every woman I know! I will be there with every Brave Girl, to support her, to cheer her on and to help her be awesome! And to live in my own awesome-ness too!
    Love ya girl!

  58. Beth b says

    Melody, thank you so much for this post. It was a tough day but my truthteller really came through with your words. I am going to embark on a BIG adventure as well and I am excited but scared! I heard some awesome words from a great Bible Study on Esther. What if you are here for such a time as this? I can’t wait to here your plan!

  59. says

    I am cheering you on too, Melody, and I look forward to this journey! I have been learning, as I grow older… (40’s) that no one should placed on a pedestal… not your pastor, the -skinny, successful-looking girl, the perfect mom, the super successful creator of the most amazing blog, the beautiful girl, the restaurant owner, Oprah, etc… It is simply not fair to the person you place there either. Why would we purposley set someone up to fall?! And then we feel so bad too.
    We need to celebrate other’s journeys and successes with the same enthusiasm as we do our own!

    I am sending courage and hugs to Denise, who commented above too!

  60. says


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