Hi friends….thanks for being here with me….the internet is a busy place, lots to see and do…thanks for stopping here to read this. I’m kinda spilling my heart. I wanted you to know where I’ve been and what’s been happening.
Here’s where my heart is…
1. My heart is restoring…going gently into a new year…smooth transition…no big leaps or jumps or changes just because it’s a new year….there are enough of those in every day life. I am not focusing on changing, only on restoring. Gently, kindly, lovingly restoring.
2. My heart is in Winter. Accepting it, trusting it…making the most of it.
3. My heart is in my paintings…painting is saving me right now.
4. My heart is working hard on writing curriculum for others to teach…making beautiful workbooks.
5. My heart is with my husband as he battles a new round of illness that we weren’t expecting…one that is breaking both of our hearts, but pulling us even closer together.
My heart is wanting restoration, for all of it. That’s where my heart is.
I chose the word “RESTORE” to focus on this year. I’m rewriting and preparing for refilming “Soul Restoration” right now and making a workbook(s) for it so that it can be streamlined and done anywhere with just a few supplies. This curriculum is so phenomenal…I always forget how terrific it is. How life changing. How “restorative” 🙂 I needed it when I first wrote it, and I need it now. Every human needs it and needs it again when it’s time to restore again. We are heading to Big Sur, California to film it this month (we will be there for a whole week!)…because it is a place where my soul gets restored and where I have had lots of healing. It is the perfect place to film the new and improved version of Soul Restoration. I have been taking the course myself again, watching the videos we made 6 years ago….logged myself into Brave Girl University and I am a student of restoration right now. 🙂
This course has been taught tens of thousands of times…restored so many souls through each soul finding their truth. Soon lots of other teachers will be teaching it all over the world. AND…we are making a workbook for men, too. Lots more about all of this later!
I chose RESTORE because there are lots of things in need of restoration in my life….these are some that I am working toward gently this year….
-Restore my body…that I have been working too much to make time for
-Restore my painting time, that I have been working too much to make time for
-Restore my writing time, that I have been working too much to make time for
-Restore my relationship with God, that I have been working too much to make time for
-Restore my energy.
-Restore my vitality.
-Restore my fun, funny, goofy self.
I am working on about 14 paintings right now, simultaneously. Some of them are REALLY big…all of them are dear to me. I will show them soon. My plan is to do at least one art show in 2016…maybe even at Symposium! 🙂 For now…I am painting EVERY day for at least 2 hours. I have been doing it for a few months. It is keeping me going right now during a rough patch in life….one that has been hard to get through because it is with my beloved….and I would do ANYTHING to make this better. When I paint, I know that everything is going to be okay.
Marq started getting sick in mid October. So sick that he could barely function and spent most of his time in bed. He kept declining and declining until mid December. He started getting a little bit better just before Christmas, and then got sick with something else that was even worse in a lot of ways, not the same as the original illness…but related to it. Back to bed and again unable to function. I’m not going to go into detail about it…but it has been scary things….things that change your life and take away good days. Things that make your home and family a waiting room and a sick room….things that you don’t know will get better or not.
I don’t remember crying this much since his brain injury. I remember months going by back then and realizing that I couldn’t remember the last day that I hadn’t cried. It’s been kinda like that again. I thought I was stronger than this and had worked through all of it. But every day I cry. I cry a broken hearted cry…not a powerless cry. I cry because I am mad that this is happening after he has already been through so much. I cry because I want it to be different than it is right now….and then I keep going.
…the biggest thing I have realized the last few months is that I still have little remnants of myself that expect/believe that if I do the things that I know are right to do, if I try to be true….that things will work out perfectly or at least really good in my life. That things won’t happen that will be devastating and painful and difficult. I still have a little part of me that I have to kindly remind, a part of me that believes that if something bad happens, then I must have done something bad…and that there is a way I can earn or work my way out of it…pay for it. And so I go into a frenzy trying to figure out what that thing is…instead of surrendering to the things that sometimes just happen in life that we just have to endure and learn from.
Marq is doing lots better right now, and for the last few days things have gotten a little bit better every day. We are headed to some new doctors this week. Everything is going to be okay, I just know it. If you are so inclined….we would love your prayers and good thoughts. He has already made it through life in miraculous ways and we know that prayers and love and light are the stuff that miracles are made of. Thank you for your love and prayer and light and good thoughts. They mean so much to us. We believe in miracles.
Lots of absolutely beautiful and incredible things are happening with Brave Girls Club. It’s going to be a banner year. SO many things are happening this year, and all of it is so good. I hope you will check it all out! We will be making lots of announcements in the next few weeks about Symposium and other exciting things (including who some of our keynote speakers will be! It’s gonna blow your mind!)
“Restore” is my word for 2016. One of the things I am in need of restoring is my writing time….so here’s my plan…I wrote out a calendar….one little prompt. Every day I will do my best to write out that prompt. I can write as much or as little as I want. I don’t have to include any photos if I don’t want to….or I can put one photo…or 20. It’s just Writing Restoration.
Well….writing restoration day 1….I did it.
That’s where my heart is.
So much love to you all.