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This will be the hardest, most humiliating part of sharing my whole 90 day Facebook-free journey….documenting my admission of just how yucky and bad my Facebook addiction was….but, I am gonna plow through it so I can answer your questions…and maybe help a few of you out who might somehow feel the way I used to feel.
It is going to be long and I apologize for that. I’m gonna write the article about Facebook that I wish I could have found when I was feeling the way I was feeling.
This pretty picture is where I was last week when my 90 day Facebook break was over….in the middle of a quiet lake that no one else seemed to know about, on a houseboat, sleeping under the stars in a sleeping bag….where I had no cell service, no internet….and where I was having a fabulous week with a group of some of the dearest, most fun people in my life.
Facebook is something that 90 days ago, I didn’t think I could ever live without…the constant connection to everyone and everything….documenting and sharing every single little thing I was doing or thinking or seeing….and then waiting for feedback.
I spent the entire summer without it……
On this trip in these photos, no one with knew where I was…no one knew what I was doing. No one knew who I was with…or what we were eating…or what we were wearing….or how cool the wakeboard tricks were. No one could LIKE or COMMENT on any of it (except the precious, incredible, amazing people I was actually with, face to face)
It just so happens that when I started my break 90 days ago, I was on a dreamy quiet sleepy beach on the Oregon Coast…the sun was just rising it’s misty rise, and again, I was with a group of my dearest, most trusted girlfriends…different friends this time, all women, but the same kind of friends…. the peaceful people who make life beautiful. Again, we were unplugged….no internet….no social media. Essentially, those very friends are the friends who gave me the idea, then gave me the courage to spend the summer completely off of social media………….
….and that morning in May, on the beach in these photos…….I proclaimed my commitment in front of all of them and deleted Facebook from my phone….I called home and had some of my dearies change my password so I couldn’t log on again until it was time.
…and then I cried…a lot…and for a lot of days.
WHY, you ask???
Why did I decide to quit in the first place if it made me cry to do it?
Geez, this sounds so dramatic.
For me, it was dramatic…I do not like talking about this part very much because it sounds so dramatic, but I have to just own that it was a very very very huge dramatic deal for me…and after finishing up my 90 days off…I also have to admit that yes, I was very addicted to Facebook…..actually addicted to FEEDBACK to be exact….and that it got to the point in my life where I was choosing a virtual life over a real life. I was choosing pixels over people. I was choosing the number of LIKE’s I ‘earned’ over my husband’s opinion of me, or my children’s opinion….or God’s opinion. I was choosing hours in front of the computer over all of the beauty that life has to offer. Most days I was very aware that this was NOT how I wanted to spend my time, but somehow, I just couldn’t really make myself stop.
That is very humiliating to admit.
I really couldn’t make myself stop spending so much time doing it.
As I have thought about how I would share this journey with you…this image keeps coming to mind. I actually think about this little TRUTH CARD that I made all the time…it is one of the first I made when I started teaching my SOUL RESTORATION curriculum…and when I found this little vintage image of this little girl…..it spoke to me in such enormous ways…and it still does.
…that little girl looking over at all of the big girls is me.
….it is not just me when I was a little girl…it is me now.
When I was little, I always thought that when I was finally a grown up, I would stop feeling like everyone else had everything figured out….while I don’t yet. I always thought that I would stop feeling like a little girl dressed up in big girl clothes, doing big girl things…..and that I wouldn’t be scared anymore….because I would know exactly what to do and how to do it…………
I was sure that when you are a grown up, you have it all figured out and you don’t have to be scared of anything in life anymore….you don’t have to be scared of trying things, of dreaming things, of doing things…you don’t have to be scared that you won’t fit in, or that your clothes and hair are not just right….you won’t have to be scared of mean girls…you don’t have to be scared of being left behind or of not knowing enough or doing enough or being enough….because after all, YOU ARE A GROWN UP AND GROWN UPS KNOW EVERYTHING.
What does this have to do with my Facebook Addiction? Well……..first of all, it has nothing to do with Facebook and it has everything to do with me, I know that. Like I said in part 1, I don’t think Facebook is a bad thing at all…it is SO WONDERFUL if you use it to just communicate….
…it is when you start using it as a scale or a ruler to measure yourself by that it can start to control your life, destroy your spirit and steal your minutes, hours and days away from the beautiful, unique miracle that is you….and the beautiful, limitless, important and valuable life that is yours.
…that is what I learned….but it’s too soon to talk about that, I will talk about that later, in another post…..I want to share more with you about how I was feeling when I finally decided to try to live without any outside feedback for an entire summer.
I started to list out incessant, relentless questions, worries and thoughts that ran through my head once I deleted Facebook and stopped obsessively reading what everyone else was doing that I was NOT doing….what all of the big girls were doing….and what I need to do if I ever want to be a big girl….while I was watching life through a screen instead of living a life. Maybe some of these questions and worries will be familiar to you…I am guessing they will from the countless letters I have gotten about this subject…..nevertheless…here are mine…..
these are the things that ran over and over in my mind for at least the first few weeks after I quit….
holy moley this is so humiliating…here goes….
IF I QUIT FACEBOOK………
* what if I get left behind……..?
* who am I if I am not doing anything awesome every day?
* who will like me if I am not doing anything awesome?
* what will everyone think about me when they see that I am just a simple, ordinary girl?
* what if I LIKE being a simple, ordinary girl and I am tired of trying to be awesome?
* WHAT IF it turns out I don’t even want to do anything awesome ever again?
* what IF I really am just a girl who wants to walk in the forest in her bare feet?
* what IF I am really just a girl who will never be able to keep up with everyone else?
* what if I find out I don’t really even WANT to keep up with everyone else?
* what if everyone thinks I am a freak for doing this?
* am I a freak?
* what are people going to say about me?
* am I going to ruin everything if I do this?
* does this mean I am a coward?
* am I just hiding out and running away?
* what does all of this mean about me?
* what if I am just too tired and I can’t perform anymore?
* what if I just want to rest?
* what am I going to miss out on?
* what if I am not valuable as a person anymore if I do this?
* would anyone remember me if I needed to rest and then came back later?
* will anyone even care?
* does anyone really even care about me right now?
* what will it mean about me if everyone is having fun on facebook together and I am here by myself * not joining in the fun?
*what if everyone forgets about me?
*do I even exist if I am not on Facebook?
Gosh those are yucky memories…but I sure remember feeling like that….sometimes those questions still creep up…but I know what to do to feel better now…and I will tell you about that later, too.
So anyway… I STOPPED and got QUIET. (in the next part of this “series” I will tell you about the conversations I had with my soulsisterfriends that led to this decision) When I STOPPED and decided to listen to my own self….my own breath…my own truth… Something pretty incredible happened. When you finally stop all of the noise and ask the quiet for answers….the answers come….and they don’t just come from your deepest wisdom, they come from the source of everything good and true….from your own Truthteller….mine came straight from a very loving God who I believe with everything in me loves all of us more than we can imagine, wants us to be happy and successful….and wants us to LIVE a real life, not a virtual one.
I promise not to get preachy where it concerns my relationship with God……but I will tell you that my life has been changed because of this time I spent in quiet…..and it is because I made sure things got quiet enough to hear Him and that I worked very very very hard to shut out every other voice, opinion, comment, concern or rating that was directed at me…..
….for me, that is what Facebook and other social media had become….a barometer, a meter, a scale, a contest, a judge………..by my own actions and choices, I let it become the place that decided who I was, how I was, what I was and what I had the potential to become.
this sounds so dumb now….seriously, this is so embarrassing….but, it’s real.
So back to this image……….
and about being a “young spirit” ….. I know for sure that I am not the only girl in the world who feels like everyone else is a grown up……wanting desperately to finally know what everyone else knows…
So when you are a young spirit trying to finally be grown up….you do what you think you are supposed to do…and sometimes you are wrong….right? Then you learn better things, so then you do better things…and that is the beauty of life.
My big wrong thing was that I was constantly indulging in information that did nothing to nourish my soul. 90 days ago I was sick sick sick sick sick and emotionally and spiritually malnourished because all I ate was the equivalent of eating a diet of only COOL WHIP…..as you see in the video I posted in PART ONE.
(by the way, I really did not eat ANY CoolWhip….and again, I don’t hate CoolWhip…I just think you gotta limit how much of it you eat…that it is meant to enhance REAL food, and that you can not live on it….it is a perfect analogy for living your life virtually instead of for real….watch the video if you want to see what I mean…)
I know not everyone has a problem with getting addicted to things they shouldn’t get addicted to……there are lots of people who don’t get addicted to stuff and just have totally fabulous discipline and perspective where all of this is concerned…I am envious of you!!!……..I had to learn it…..
I also know there are lots of you who ARE addicted to Facebook, to reading blogs, to comparing your life with every other ‘virtual’ life out there……it doesn’t feel good, does it?
Facebook didn’t start out as anything but wonderful for me….it just grew to this crazy, confusing addiction somehow….an addiction to watching what everyone is doing and then feeling bad that I will never be able to do all of those things….an addiction to saying HERE I AM, PLEASE DON’T FORGET ABOUT ME!!!! or LOOK, I CAN BE A BIG COOL GIRL LIKE YOU, PLEASE LIKE ME!!!!! (again…the dorky, awkward little girl in a room full of big girls)
So…..after many long discussions with loving friends and family who were watching my light get dimmer and dimmer and dimmer every day because I felt so inadequate, so confused and so YUCK…………………
….and seeing that I was wasting many hours a day eating COOL WHIP that could be spent doing nourishing things that I love like painting, writing, resting, reading, playing my guitar, hanging out with friends, thinking, being alone, praying, taking photos, going on drives, helping others, walking in the forest, going to the bookstore, thrifting, calling friends, decorating my house, going on road trips, going to the lake, having art parties, sewing clothes, learning to play tennis, learning to longboard, learning to surf, going to Zumba, writing my dreams and goals, cleaning my house, spending time with my children, writing love notes to my husband, visiting my parents…………………………after talking about how I didn’t have time anymore for the people and the activities that I love….
I knew that quitting Facebook for a while might just help.
…and it did.
…I can’t wait to tell you in another post just how I spent my summer. I did all of the things listed above plus a whole lot more. I had forgotten how I really wanted to spend my time, and how fulfilling life can feel when you do take back control of your time.
Well, my friends…. there’s SO MUCH MORE TO SAY…but today I just wanted to tell you WHY I did it…and that is enough for today.
NEXT I will tell you about the conversations with my friends, with my husband, with my kids and with my sisters that led to all of this.
Hope this helps someone somewhere, because I sure just bore my soul and a lot of this is pretty raw and humiliating to me….but I am owning it, baby! I want you to know that I have learned what is true now, that I am still learning, but that I have learned so much…that this whole thing was REALLY HARD hard first but once I decided to do it, it got really easy within a few weeks. I want you to know too, that I feel so healed from the crazy mixed up feelings I had…but I also know I gotta be careful not to get sucked back in….and that’s why I am limited to only Facebook Friday now……..I will make sure and tell you how that is going….there’s lots more to come about my 90 day journey though.
This is the bracelet I made when I started really living my life……….I love that I mean this, I believe this, and I work EVERY day to make sure it stays true:
Sending lots of love….if you are where I was……..just keep reading, friend. It can all get better, I promise. If you wanna take a break, you can….and it will be ok….it really will.
More to come…thanks for stickin’ with me.
xoxo
melody
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You are a very Brave Girl, thank you for being so open and honest, it has really made me think about things in my life.
Great essay. I have done an “electronic fast” before: No TV, no texting, no FaceBook. It was difficult but after those first few days my attention refocused. I actually had an attention span! I was amazed at all I did in a day. Like yourself I knew I was addicted to Facebook, and that at times I need to step away from it and get myself centered. Thanks for sharing. And by the way…love that bracelet!
Hooray for you Melody! I think what you are doing is awesome and you’re so right. There are so many people addicted to facebook, twitter, myspace or whatever social network that they are on that they can’t live a day without it. I too pulled myself away from fbook and all the games I played on it as well…you’re right, it’s hard at first, but overall I am so much happier now than I was because I’m getting things accomplished that I want to do or have always wanted to do! Your Soul Restoration 2 course helped me to grow so much and I am on my way to becoming the woman I want to be who is loving the life she is living! I’ve still got alot of living left in me and I plan on enjoying and soaking up every second of it! Thank you so much for your daily truths, your encouragement and love you share with all of us out here in the world. I took my big step in April 2010 and moved to Paris, France, where I’ve always wanted to live but didn’t have the courage to reach for the dream, now here I am living it and loving it!!! Thank you from the bottom of my heart and soul for all that you have taught me and I’m sure will continue to teach me. I think you are an AWESOME inspiration to women and young girls everywhere!
Let ‘er rip, sister. So many of my friends just look at me blankly with a huge, almost visible question mark over their heads when I try to explain my FB toxicity. I relate to every. single. thing. you. are. saying. here. Thanks for being brave enough to own it! Look forward to reading more! xoxo
I told you a long time ago, you will always be stuck with me – love you so much, thank you for inspiring me in all ways….
xoxo
Sandi
Your experience proves the quote, “I recommend you to take care of the minutes, for the hours will take care of themselves.”
Lord Chesterfield (1694 – 1773)
There is another also – something to the effect of “As we spend our minutes,so we spend our lives”
Why do we feel the need to find the approval of others, the validation of a facebook notation? It always amazes me the number of people who want to friend me on facebook, who wouldn’t speak to me on the street? It really made me realize how artificial the process is.
Melody, i think once again, you were the instrument FOR ALL OF US!!!!!! To make us ALL aware of the life we are missing when we choose to sit in front of a keyboard and monitor. Thanks one more time for showing us the way. God has given you great power to lead so many…….
love you so much!
joanne
Thanks melody you awesome girl!
Well I just did this as well Melody. I got my son to change my password and I deleted the facebook application off my phone. My husband had been asking me for a while to ‘unplug’. My goal is Spring (I’m in Australia lol ). I feel a bit excited. I feel a bit free. I’m thinking about the things I will do to fill my days. It might even include keeping a beautiful house for my family. I also feel sad for the years that I’ve wasted on the internet. Actually I feel very sad about that. But it’s not too late…Thank you. My family will thank you as well
I so love you and all your wonderful words!
Loved this in SR2, but even more so here. The entire “young spirit” part completely spoke to me. I have a lot of thinking to do.
You are awesome!
I love this. I can relate in another way, i started visiting an online art community – then i joined an art journaling group and then i posted a few pages. Only good things are said but in two days i probably checked that darn site like 300 times…what did someone say about my art aka ME…why didnt someone comment…what could i say on someone else’s to amke them feel good and ME! And i decided i probably wouldnt post more pages till i can be surer in myself and not need anyone else’s encouragment or praise. AND Id rather do art then look at everyone’s and comments about mine. But its hard. Hard not to get sucked up in it. I feel lonely in real life and its hard not to try to befriend people online just to have somene to talk to and be kind. There are chats all the time but i try to limit myself to one a week or less as i just dont want that as my life and not live life, ya know? Anyway, thanks for sharing!
I agree with Karin, you are a very brave girl! Thank you so much for sharing. It has gotten me thinking about things in my life. You are a great teacher!
Thank you, Melody, for sharing your journey and your vulnerabilities!
As I was reading it I thought, whew, I am so glad that I am not addicted to anything! But I am. It’s just not FB or Twitter or blogs… I am addicted to TV. It’s on all the time that I am home. I tell myself that I’m not really watching it, it’s just background noise – What a LIE! When my kids were small I had one TV night a week. My house was clean, dinner was made every night, I worked on my crafts and spent lots of time with my kids. I read all the time, listened to music, we spent lots of time with our friends. The list goes on…. Now I am a couch potato. It doesn’t even matter whats on. How ridiculous! I am so missing out on things that I enjoy. I really need to think about this and create a plan of action.
Thank you for helping me admit my addiction. Melody, you are such an inspiration!
Thank you for sharing this. It is so brave of you to put it all out there and allow us to share it all – the good and the bad – so we can all learn from your experience. It is truly a blessing to be allowed a little glimpse into someone else’s soul and I appreciate you letting me see part of yours. Thank you.
TEARS!!!!!!!!!!!
Wow Melody! I cannot believe you put into words exactly how I’ve felt my entire life…..the little girl, watching all the big girls live their big girl lives…..that’s me too! I am turning 40 in about 2 months and I have always felt that I should know how to be a grown-up and feel like a grown-up, but I don’t! It sounds so sad when I write these words, but it’s what’s in my heart. Thank you for sharing the tough thoughts you have had. It makes it easier for the rest of us to share our tough thoughts too!
Love you so much, Melody.
Oh, Melody.. if i could give you a hug, i would. If I could tell you just how many times i don’ comment on things because I imply don’t want to be that voice that someone is looking to hear. If I could tell you how many times your Little Birdie emails are exactly the right thing for my day– and no, i don’t openthem every day because sometimes I need my inner voice to be the loudest one in the room, but I get around to each of them as I need to hear another voice say the things i believe to be true. If i could tell you that your courage and your spirit have inspired me to start my own writing workshop, to teach art workshops to adults and children across the state. It’s not your “awesome-ness” that draws me to you, it is your willingness to be authentic, to be honest, to be true– and yes, those things make you awesome… but if you never put yourself out in the world again, i would still know that you carry an amazing heart within you. I would still know that whether you are barefoot in the woods, up to your elbows in paint or writing your next big idea that YOU are a better you for giving yourself the time and space to be who you want most to be.
I am so, so afraid of getting left out of things – like I always was when I was little – if I leave FB then I’ll get left out even more
thank you so much for your beautiful honesty…it makes me rethink some of the things I feel like I “should” be doing to stay ahead, get more business-whatever…when what I really want to do is kick my shoes off and walk in the woods and laugh. light and love-amanda
Thanks for sharing such a personal journey Melody…I am just dipping my toe in the FB waters so to speak and appreciate your story as a forewarning. I am addictive by nature….so, just thanks. You are amazing. And I am enjoying SR1 so much even if I am a little behind!
Nan
Thankyou! Thankyou! I too am a FB/Blog addict but truthfully I’m glad I ran into your blog this week, I so needed to read this! I am now bidding adieu to Facebook for awhile and returning to the REAL world and writing a list of everything I want to accomplish and do. This is going to be hard and I may have to allow myself a FB Friday too…but set an alarm, and when I’m done, I’M DONE! And just so you know, I still don’t feel like a grown up or have things figured out…thought I was the only one that felt like this! Thankyou for helping me feel “normal”! Normal is so overrated!
So brave. To share. So much. Trying to get better! So hard for all those same reasons you listed! Isn’t that true for all of us…”what will ‘they’ think?” So much love to you!
Bravo Melody Bravo… that is totally AWESOME… I am sooo GLAD & blessed that I read your post today that brought me here writing a mini testimony…. I too gave up Facebook for a little over a month (at the end of May)… at first I was crazed that I did it… but one night in May I notice the fire flies/lightening bugs and I said to myself would I rather bee on the computer with FB or enjoying the show that God presents to us everyday… so I stopped, made an little announcement that I was doing it & I was on my way to being FB Free…but I was brought back b/c of a 40 day challenge that a gal was having on FB… the challenge itself has helped me, but I’ve notice that since I’ve jump back on, I’ve stopped doing things that I was bringing back into my jOUrnEY of liFe…. Using up valuable time to sit and watch folks on FB, when I should be off doing things that I enJOY…bring back my dREaM of having a home called ‘hONeY cOmB cOTtaGe” where girls that have been orphaned or abandoned from 7 on up came come live and call “hOMe” …its been a dream that I started putting further & further away from me cause of things that have happen in a year & b/c I was putting to much time into FB…. but I think your confession of being a FB addict has made me turn back and go back on track …like you I will be only going back on Friday’s aka “face book friday” ….and moving on with life hitting the LIKE button along the way as I make my journey… one thing I am proud of is that without even realizing I was doing it I’ve give up T.V. , I think once the weather that colder I might go back a little to it or rent movies that I would like to see…this to me is an great accomplishment and I was doing it without even tryin… not sure if anyone will read this but its good to let it go/release it… well I’m off to go & start enJOYing today, I hope you do as well… Have a honey of a day ~ may sweet things come your way! Marlene ;O)
Thank you for honesty sharing your experience. Made me really do some soul searching of my own.
WHAT AN AWESOME POST. I’m sure you already know this, but don’t be embarrassed to admit you are a FB addict – admitting the problem is the first step… and your public admission of this will help others recognize if they have a problem.
I noticed this summer that I was having a FB problem too. I would compare myself to others on FB – the friends I have with the “handy” applications that show how many miles they ran, and how fast. I got so wrapped up in whether I was BETTER than them or whether they had been a runner for a shorter period than me but they were going to PASS me in terms of how FAST they were… it turned into a stomach churning event everytime I got on FB. My summer progressed with me running less and less, and being less inspired by it (and remembering what it was like when I felt inspired and grateful to be running). Less and less inspired by being outside, breathing fresh air… With respect to running, my disposition, and self confidence, the summer went quite badly.
A few weeks ago my running coach “diagnosed” my issue as a deficiency of spirituality… and it is. Comparing your insides to other people’s outsides is never going to leave you anywhere but miserable. Losing sight of who you are, the outside world, nature, and other living, breathing people is cutting yourself off from God (or whatever spiritual path you choose).
Thanks for this post… Looking forward to your future ones. I haven’t pulled the plug completely, but have cut wayyyyyyyy back. But honestly I know there is room to cut back more. And I will.
I am so impressed with what you have said and done! I am “on” facebook, but never “ON” facebook – meaning that I occasionally peruse to see what people are up to but never post. Mostly because I don’t feel that I have anything interesting to say. Are people really interested if I worked in the garden, did an art project, cooked dinner. etc?? I don’t think so. I’ve often wondered, as I peruse people’s postings, how much time they spend on facebook. I’d never thought of it as an addiction but I think that is an accurate depiction. Everyone’s life is rosy and exciting and I can see how you can get an inferiority complex. We all know that we are as good, or perhaps even more interesting, than the people on Facebook and good for you for quitting! Way to go!
The challenge to be “in the world, not OF the world” requires self discipline. The joy we feel as we self-correct helps us to continue on a path of peace and happiness. I appreciate your willingness to help me (and all your readers) through your open honesty! You are a sweetheart!
What a great post! I felt exactly like this earlier this year and decided to go on a Facebook vacation. I wasn’t spending a lot of time on Facebook but whenever I did it did not make me feel happy inside. I was comparing myself way to much, and I felt like a failure. I started with the goal of not getting on for a month, and did it! I started feeling so much better and so much more grateful for my life. It has now been 7 months and I’ve only logged on a few times to see pics of my new nephew. I don’t know if I’ll ever go back, but for now, I am enjoying living and being grateful for my beautiful life. Thank you so much for making me feel like I’m not alone.
Thank you for your honesty and no you are not crazy or silly for what you went through with facebook. I deleted from facebook about a month ago as I felt it steals your time and makes you disconnect with real people as well as not spending quality time with the people you love and care about. I don’t miss it and am glad I don’t feature on it. Some people are shocked that I am no longer on facebook, but I feel free and know I am making a difference in the world by not being sucked into what the world deems the right thing to do. So well done you are truly a brave girl I pray you go from strength to strength, knowing God loves you and His opinion is the most important.
Wow…I don’t even know where to start…This post really speaks to my heart, Melody.
I’ve thought of quitting Facebook. Even just not looking at my e-mail. I’m scared, though. All your reasons/fears are my reasons.
I’m trying to start a business and I’m always reading how you “Have To Have an Online Presence” on Twitter, FB, or otherwise. What if everyone forgets about me and my business fails when I launch it?
I know I spend too much time online…I’m isolated and lonely and I feel like I have no real friends. I don’t even WANT to see my real friends sometimes. I’ve been out of work for more than two years. I get WAY too upset about what people say to me or don’t say to me online.
Maybe it IS time for a break. At least for some limits.
I am proud of you.
P.S. I love Cool Whip and have been known to eat entire tubs of it. But yeah, you’re right–not good for ya!
Melody,
THANK YOU for sharing your detox story,your truly an amazing women and you inspire so many others. God Bless You and Thanks again for sharing.
Thankyou thankyou for your honesty and a massive reality check for me. I understand everything you’re saying because I feel it too…the checking and rechecking every day to see if someone has posted or answered my posts, getting upset when ‘those’ people don’t respond, measuring my self worth against how many people comment or ‘like’ posts..feeling controlled by this behaviour, the feeling of loss and ‘how will I be feel connected’ if I don’t go to FB..what will I fill my time with if I remove FB from my life..feeling so isolated and lonely without this cyber ‘life’..I understand so much and empathise so much. Thankyou xxx
Yet again, Brave Girls has LITERALLY seen inside my soul at the VERY moment I needed it most. Thank you SO much for this. I have now requested my best friend do the same for me. I need to refocus on ME, MY life and what I need to accomplish.
Thank you for being the brave one of doing AND sharing it, I wish I could hug you for how much I needed this….
you are a beautiful soul,and I am so honored to know of you.
Yeaterday I was talking to my counselor about the way I had been contemplating deactivating my account for a while. For tons of reasons…many of the same reasons you mentioned, but the biggest concern I had was when I realized Facebook had definitely become an idol between my relationship with my Savior. After talking to her for a while about all of these things she grabbed her computer and had me read your post. I don’t know how she became acquainted with your posts about this, but after reading I was speechless. If I didn’t know better I would have insisted I authored this post. Yesterday I had my counselor change my password and then I deactivated my account. Collectively we agreed I will not obtain my password until November 28. 60 days. Last night before going to sleep my eyes welled up and I felt afraid, disconnected, alone, lost, invisible, etc… The difference for me is that I’m a 27 year old single girl. I’m in the middle of a tough move I had to make after losing my job unexpectedly at the beginning of august, and I’m trying to get a job ASAP on a completely new area. So needless to say today has been super difficult and I’ve found myself fighting big tears most of the day. I totally resonate with this and I reallllly admire your vulnerability and willingness to be real! I’m so ready for part 3! This is so much harder than I thought!
props to you!!
Wow. . . over the past couple of weeks I have been considering what a huge time and soul eater Facebook was becoming in my life and if I was strong enough to say bye-bye for a while. I have been the queen of saying “I don’t have enough time for ____” – just fill in the blank with anything! But somehow I always found the time for Facebook. I’ve been in the process of ‘trying’ to start writing a book . . . one of my major life goals. My husband asked me the other day, “Why don’t you just do it?!?!” My reply to him was “I don’t have the time.” Thank you for being brave and baring your soul, and clarifying everything I had been dancing around and being not brave enough to admit. I’m starting Soul Restoration 2 today, and am pledging to take 30 days off from Facebook (who knows? I may decide 90 is better!) and start taking time to feed my soul with stuff that makes it sing! Thank you, thank you, thank you!
I totally agree with almost every comment here re; facebook. For me, it’s been a continual quest of, “Who’s looking for me or thinking about me?” And it’s always disappointing to get on and see no notification. That, in and of itself, is a sad testament to anyone who has friends, family, a life…! And especially…a God that loves me and is calling me to get outside of myself. I’m quitting fb for a while as well. I need to pick up the phone and start calling people for lunch, or asking how they’re doing, or just to let them know I’m thinking of them. Thanks for the healthy reminder!!!
Dear Melody,
I get this. I, too, think I’m addicted to Facebook… I’ve seen it ruin relationships. People in my life use it to announce births and deaths, and I’ve missed some of those “announcements” because I didn’t see them. People no longer feel like they need to pick up a phone and call someone to talk, they can simply post on your wall and get a reply. On and on… I’ve tried to cut back, only posting once a week, but I still find myself checking semi-daily on replies, posts, etc… I feel bad when my posts don’t get “liked” or even replied to… etc, etc… I think I need to disconnect from Facebook as well. I have so many other things in my life I NEED to do, than compare myself to everyone, and even many many other things I WANT to do. It’s eating up that precious time. Thank you for sharing your struggles and your solution.
Hugs,
Angela
I umm.long pause……………….. I can feel and see your SoulShine! Felt like i was on your gettaway, very beautimous pictures. I dont get on the computer much, still havnt openned up the store on Etsy,but living in the foothills of the Cherokee Mountains, i am grateful to be able to absorb the freespirit lifestyle all my critters (4 legged) they are great company, well the chickens have 2. Sorry ,i am rambln. Kindred Spirit, Thanxz for sharing your Story. I am most happy that i came across The Brave Girls Club this Night of the New Moon. ; ) You put a tear and a smile on my face. OHH Really dig your Bracelet!! Keep up the good Workss. If interested, hopefully i will gets me store open soon a few daysGrand Opening. Stop on in and take a look see at some of my creations. Peace,Sister