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Sweet, supportive, loving, incredible Brave Girls….you know that all around you and all around the world Brave Girls just like you are struggling. They don’t show it, but inside they feel it. What if you knew? What if you could see into their hearts? What if she was your sister or your daughter or your mom. Today our question is…
What would you tell a Brave Girl who is struggling with her body image?
Remember…she is real. What would you tell her if you had a quiet minute together? Leave a comment and tell her…she’ll find it.
xoxo
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That you are loved. And to never, never give up. Things will get better.
You are worth it!!!
I would tell her that I am that person, too. That we are beautiful. Absolutely beautiful women with so much more to offer this world than the number on our scale. Look deep inside your exterior and LOVE the ‘being’ that you are. Hug yourself, and feel that love and ‘acceptance’ you long from the cruel outside world FROM YOURSELF. We’re beautiful.
“There are so many out there who will tell you that you can’t. What you’ve got to do is turn around and tell them “watch me”. ~author unknow
Dear Brave Girl,
Your body may not be what you would like it to be, but it works for you so very hard every day to make sure your heart beats, your nose smells, eyes see, tongue tastes, ears hear, fingers type, your body moves you from here to there; That your food digests, that the waste gets out and that your soul has a vessel in which to fulfill a purpose. Your body loves you. And your desire to feel differently about your body is your way of showing that you would like to take care of it the best you can. The muffin tops and cellulite or the bony knees and elbows; Whatever it is that you dislike is a part of you because IT is what is makes you unique, and IT is what someone else might love about you, and IT is what has a message of unconditional love and compassion for yourself and others who share your situation of discontent.
If you find it hard to love those parts of yourself just be open to allowing them to be a part of you for now…until you get the message and either choose to change the way you view your body or choose to change the way you live your life and take care of yourself. Be open to what your body has to tell you because it is the only vessel you have here that makes you a physical part of this world. Without it, you would simply be floating around in the ethers telling other girls with body image problems to love themselves like you wish you had.
Much love. xoxo
Every girl is a princess. Every woman is a goddess. Each one of us is beautiful and brave. You my dear, are just a perfect example of who you are supposed to be!
You truly are a brave girl and you are loved. You are loved for you and not for what you look like. You have a big heart and that’s what the people who love you love about you. Your heart, your talents and lots more… That’s what makes you special.
Remember… God created you… and He doesn’t make mistakes.
Try to see what the people who love you see.
I’d tell her that she is loved and wanted and that I am always there to listen to her
and to not put an ounce of thought into what others have to say about her,
That some people like to bring others down because they dont feel good about themselves
Please remember lovely girl that others don’t see the outside body as much as they see the inside spirit coming forth. I found that when I stopped focusing on the things I didn’t like and focused instead on just loving me…I don’t think about the bits that aren’t “perfect.” One of my promises to myself is to treat myself as well as I do others. I would never say to others some of the things I said to myself.
Your worth as my friend, as a sister, a mother, a daughter -is not determined or even slightly affected by your size. We spend so much time worrying about what strangers will think of us. I have tried to become more self aware of that voice in my head that wants me to doubt myself. I wonder sometimes if we are not afraid of failing as much as we are of actually succeeding. If we are a bit overweight then we are not a threat to other women and we don’t like to make others feel uncomfortable.
When my inner voice tells me that I am not as pretty as, as smart as, as thin as…… whatever… I will actually say out loud to myself (on a good day!!) STOP. Then I will turn on the t.v. to watch what is on for a few minutes; or I say a line from a poem that I find empowering several times over to myself. But I say the STOP out loud. Then I remember that is my trigger to control my thoughts – change their direction – feel in control.
You are not your body. You are loved as a beautiful eternal soul – as who you are – not how you look. Be strong. Whatever answers you seek will come. (((hugs)))
I know just how you feel, my sweet friend. I make it a crisis when the number is not right,I spend way, WAY too much time thinking on how to “make it say what I want” . Finally, in a very brave and broken moment I wrote in my journal:
Dear Scale
I SURRENDER!!!!!!!!!!!!! I give up obsessing about getting you to say a certian number- I give up giving you the power over my happiness, giving you the power over my self worth….after all it is JUST A NUMBER!!!!!!!!!!
It has no value, no feeling, no power or authority over my life, my soul, my fate.
Oh, but wait……I gave you that power long ago, even though you are just a hunk of metal and glass. Somewhere along the way I decided to make it so important as to be attached to my worth apart from WHO I AM, or HOW I FEEL or HOW I LOVE.
So Dear, Dear Michelley,
I am so deeply sorry I reduced your worth to a number. You are so much more, you are infinitely more…..
Be at peace Brave Girl- Take good care of yourself and be at peace.
Let’s just not do that anymore, OK?
Let’s begin by not obsessing
Let’s work on letting go
Let’s focus on loving ourselves
Let’s care fro this body as a temple, a beautiful creation of God, meant to feel and see and do beautiful things………..
I collaged the last part with pictures and words from Soul Restoration 1 and made a fabulous, sparkly truth card that says;
The Beautiful Truth:
I am NOT a number.
And you, dear one, are not a number, you are infinity more, you have so much to offer that has nothing to do with size, except the size of your heart. Be brave, Be at Peace, let your self Be loved!
often the most physically beautiful people by culture standards are the ugliest on the inside by spiritual ones. beauty IS what beauty DOES.
C.S. Lewis said, “You are a soul. You have a body.”
Think of your body like a car for your soul. Sure, it might not be the newest model, but think how valued “classic” autos are! It might be a minivan, when you really want to drive a sleek little two-seater, but that minivan carried your kids and kept their souls safe until they were ready to drive their own soul cars around. It might have some dents and scrapes, but that just proves that you’re not one to sit in the garage – you’re out there on the road, experiencing the world, and every “blemish” has a story behind it. Your body does not define you, just as your car does not define you. It’s a tool for living life here on earth. Take the best care of it you can, update when necessary, and most of all remember, its job is to keep the REAL you, your soul, safe, sound, and comfortable as you head out into the journey called life!
Remember you were fearfully and wonderfully made by the best designer/engineer ever! God designed you inside and out and your body is an engineering marvel!
Focus on what you feel good about on the inside and what you like about yourself on the outside.
And yes, there has to be something you like about your body on the outside! There are surely many things you really like when you think about it. Start with your eye color or freckles.
Don’t focus on the scale and where you aren’t or what # you think you should be to look good. Focus on what you need to do to feel good on the inside and on the outside and take little steps to create better health. When you feel good on the inside, you begin to feel better of how you look on the outside and also become more patient with what you expect yourself to be on the outside.
Just take care of yourself and treat yourself really good! Get out and walk and breathe in the fresh air!
And remember to Thank God for the wonderful engineering marvel he created for you to live in!
O’ honey you are beautiful..Inside and out just the way God made you. Unique and lovely…How cool is that! God can create anything He wants to…At any moment He wants to… And at just the right moment He made you…Exactly as He wanted…Beautiful!
Dear Brave Girl,
Your self-worth is not defined by a number on a scale.
What would you tell a Brave Girl who is struggling with her body image? If someone was struggling with body image I would encourage them in their fight to change, but would remind them if they are kind and honest, then those qualities will make people see beyond their body image.
That if she is truly unhappy and unhealthy I am thrilled to help her find ways to change how she looks through lifestyle changes or encouragement or support her in a healthy road to change be it with a medical dr, therapist or on her own. If she is comparing and feeling she doesnt measure up to an unrealistic societal standard I would encourage her by showing her what is reality and helping her see her beauty no matter her size. if she is stuck in a negative belief pattern she can’t change I would find support recources for her. And if she just needs me to tell her she is beautiful, I would do that. And mostly I would just try to help her know how much she is loved. The problem I have found is most women with body image issues wont hear the words you say so mostly you’ve just gotta love them.
I would tell that person that beauty is in the eye of the beholder and if they are being the best person they can be, that their beauty will not be measured by their skin, body shape, etc.. Rather, their bodies only reflect a small portion of who they are. If they can believe in themselves enough to put more weight on who they are on the inside, then their bodies will only be a fraction of who they are as a whole. Some of the most beautiful women I know are so wholesome and loving on the inside, that I truly find myself more drawn to them….regardless of their body type. As a whole, women need to surround themselves with other “beautiful women” and embrace the beauty within themselves.
Dear Brave Girl,
A long time ago, when I was so, so worried about weight and body image; feeling like no one would ever love me a wonderful friend took me to a farmers market. Lovely stalls of round, ripe tomatoes; beautiful fat, round, pumpkins; bumpy crooked squash; skinny green beans; knobby, thin asparagus; funny looking ugli fruit; furry kiwi surrounded us. Beautiful buckets full of dahlias with heads so heavy that they bent over their stems; wispy, graceful cosmos; thorny roses; golden sunflowers with seeds falling out of their middles; beauty everywhere we looked and all of it different. Shapes and sizes don’t matter so much when you are buying produce; it is what’s inside that counts. How it tastes and smells, how it works with other ingredients–those are the things that matter. And, there are scales everywhere!! It is ok for things that nourish our body and our soul to have weight; they are valued for their heft, even praised for it. My friend never said a word; she just let me extol the virtues of the fruits and veggies in all their perfect imperfectness. And, miraculously, I began to see. Come, my brave friend, let’s go shop.
The longer the live, the more I grasp the truth that what is on the inside makes the outside beautiful or ugly. The spirit comes out and colors the physical. I find so much beauty in people, something about them that makes them unique and attractive…and you have that too.
If your doctor says you’re healthy, you must be. If your friend says you’re pretty, you must be. If your enemy calls you ugly, they are ugly for calling you ugly.
Don’t accept oppression. The forces deterring your bliss don’t care: you will NEVER have to ‘prove it’ to the people it’s actually worth proving to. Think of how fantastically overwhelming your perceptions would be if you reversed them. Can you even fathom? I know that food is a sinful obligation, I know that starving is soaring, that “what nourishes me destroys me”. And I know that they don’t understand. And they won’t: they can’t, sweet heart. When you finally vanish to appropriate worthiness, what will be left? Please don’t preserve the untouchable ugliness. You are raw, and that’s what people cannot comprehend. You are so sensitive and fragile that invincibility only exists if you do not. But you don’t have to be invincible. Nothing can be. Defend your flaws. Neglect perfection. If you are strong enough to weaken yourself, I believe you can thrive without the disease’s unconquerable presence. You are more important than all of it. And more worthy, more deserving, than any entity. I love you. I love you. I love you…Feel it.