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Sweet, supportive, loving, incredible Brave Girls….you know that all around you and all around the world Brave Girls just like you are struggling. They don’t show it, but inside they feel it. What if you knew? What if you could see into their hearts? What if she was your sister or your daughter or your mom. Today our question is…
What would you tell a Brave Girl who is dealing with addiction (hers or someone else’s)?
Remember…she is real. What would you tell her if you had a quiet minute together? Leave a comment and tell her…she’ll find it.
xoxo
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…..continuing and to make a long story short…this new found confidence took over and I found myself not caring…my circle of pele changed, I pushed away those I really cared about and I asspciated with those I related with at the moment. My habbits changed my work ethic my attitude my everything and in my mind I was alright. It ended up costing me my life as I knew it. I lost what means the most to me in this world which is my daughters pride in me, that unconditional love and somewhere through it all they felt the right to be my worst judges and felt I was not worth their support no matter how much I appoligized it wasnt enough. Along with them followed my education, my work, my everthing.i worked so hard.for was gone. on top of that I gave my family those who already were ooking to fuck me over…..every reason to talk to judge me to assume to talk. All of a sudden.everything I had accomplished, who I was, all.that ment nothing as if all of a sudden I never existed. I lost two relationships almost three, one which was and well he is very significant to.me I and my kids cause he won them over after being the first one to come around them in there life….my oldest who was closest with me doesnt want to live with me my girls are very difficult and I have been stuck in a rut throwing a tantum being selfish and finding this false comfort and sense of content because ive been afra afraid of failing of rejection of losing again of life being different cause it will never be what it once was. But now that I find myself with nothing I realize…..what can I lose? but I have everything to gain. and so what if im.alone and who cares if people talk its nothing what is important and matters a is me and girls. This will not define me but it has made me stronger because ive been there and back and how many can say that?.i will overcome this and find myself again im working on my faith again as I had left that behind again.i found that I didmt so much not believe or question it amd Him but wss embarresed from my failures nut God is great and lige is grand . So what can I say to an addict…from an addict? Its hard but its not over, nothing worth fighting for ever is. Look in yourself and ask God with your heart in your hand to help you to guide you and youll.find he has never left your side.
Addiction is super scary to watch. You see someone who is trying to cure a sick heart by addiction, so the last thing you want to do is make their heart sicker. Don’t be mad if your closest people aren’t helping you. They probably are scared to death to let you down or hurt you more. For every one word a friend says to try and help, ten thousand thoughts went by just to create that one word, so be nice, life is not a movie and no one knows how to help you so don’t hold it against them. And it’s your job to figure it out anyway.
I would tell her that I know what it’s like to live with someone whose addiction affects your life daily. I can’t decide what he is going to chose, but I do try to ask myself what I can control. And when I can’t find any answers I just pray. I’ve learned that it’s ok to ask for help and if you need help and support from others it doesn’t mean you are weak. It’s ok for people to know that you are going through a difficult time becasue everyone is in some way. It’s ok to cry – then go to bed and say “I’ll try again tomorrow.”
First, I would pray and encourage her to seek help. Only when she is ready to recieve help, will she be able to move forward. As she seeks that help, I would encourage her to “peel the layers” to reach her “real” self, to understand what triggers her need for her addition. I would hug her, listen to her, cry with her and support her in anyway I could.
I would tell her that I am living proof that you can get past it. I am living proof as I have 20+ years clean and drug free from Meth which is a very powerful mind controlling drug. I started working at my current job when I had 90 days clean 1 day out of a 60 day drug rehab program. I will have my 20 years anniversary on March 3rd this year.
If I can do it anyone can.
I would pray. And pray some more. Giving away the power to change to a force bigger and stronger than yourself is sometimes the way to true healing and recovery. It won’t happen overnight, but with the love and help of friends it can be accomplished. I have struggled for years with addiction (to shopping) and have an obsessive compulsive personality ~ owing up to your addiction and releasing it are hard, but it is the first step. Thank you for this, I just discovered the site! Cheers ~ Shira
First – take a deep breath. The subject of addiction is so vast and so deep. Those of us who live as Brave Girls may not be addicted to drugs or alcohol but control and strength are dear to us. To try to wrap your brain around why someone would give up their strength and control to a drug… is difficult.
At the lowest of low, a chemical was introduced into the body – to combat pain either physical or emotional – and it worked. That pain went away. Now what? We don’t want it to return – panic! No! It cannot return – We can’t go back there.
And so begins a winding, twisting path that leads away from everything you hold dear, from everything of which you are proud, from every investment anyone has ever made in your life. On the outside – to those of us looking in – it looks like you’re throwing everything away. What? You’d never do that. You are trying so hard to hold on to all that is dear – to keep those feelings of peace close – to ward off instability and pain. And in the end – that is quite the opposite of what has happened.
We know who you are… who you were. Now you are doing things that are very different from the you that we know. You wouldn’t force yourself on your best friend’s family’s holiday gathering, open all the gifts they scrambled to provide on short notice, crumble them up in an apparent lack of gratitude, pass out – not to waken until late the following day – and then insult your best friend’s family by offering her terminally ill youngest sibling money for her pain meds. YOU – wouldn’t do that! But you did. The image of my beautiful, caring, sweet and loving sister – hurting her best friend’s family this way causes me deep, deep pain. They love you like I love you. They are deeply hurt and afraid for you.
I want to say “how could you?” “how dare you?” “Why?” – but you cannot answer. You are no longer in control. You don’t know what you did and even if you do, the drugs you’re taking will wash away any shame or remorse for your actions and bring you back to that peaceful bubble where you can feel good about yourself, not because of who you are or what you do, but because the chemicals in your brain have been altered to allow you to live in an altered state of consciousness. You can be convinced that everyone just doesn’t understand you and has the wrong idea about you – we’re just judgemental.
There is truth to be found about this problem in science. What an interesting concept. Science has clearly defined the affects these drugs will have on your brain and your body. You are trading your liver for the prevention of pain. You are trading your heart and liver for the prevention of depression. You are trading your sanity and physical control for the ability to sleep at night.
What else? You are trading away your rights in society by combining all these with alcohol and getting behind the wheel of a car. You are throwing away a brilliant career as a gifted teacher and with it all the dreams Mom and Dad shared with you when they put you, the only one of their five children, through college.
They helped to start you on this journey of artificial peace. When your boyfriend broke up with you in college and you fell into a deep depression – one that threatened the timeline of your education – they sought “professional” help. Professionals wrote prescriptions and miraculously you were back and going to school. Why did Mom and Dad do something different with you? With the other four of us, they would have let us hit the bottom, learn from the experience and climb back from our personal pain, strengthened and equipped to deal with such things. You were given a pill. Was there too much money involved in your education – too much pride?
Now, with both our parents gone – you are left to hit rock bottom with no guidance, no parental support, none of what the rest of us had growing up. And now you are an adult – 35 – single – alone. The rest of us have families and obligations and responsibilities – we cannot take you in and let you take your time to feel your way back up from the bottom. We cannot let what has happened to you hurt our children. And yet – you feel like my child – and I don’t want to let you go.
The brave, strong and in-control big sister – has no control … at all. So I am praying for you. To the One who loves you, who knows the number of hairs on your head, who knew you when you were being formed in our mother’s womb – I pray to God that He will keep you in His sights – prevent any harm from coming to you and prevent you from harming anyone (including yourself). I pray for your deliverance from these evil chemicals that have taken over your life for far longer than any of us knew. God – it’s time – we need her back.
I am not sure where to post this but I am looking for some guidance, maybe a hug or some advice. I have taken SR1, SR2 and finally Body Restoration and this morning I had a huge aha emotional moment but now I am not sure where I go from here. I have been doing the ‘Fun” sheets and it wasn’t until a sentence was said in a movie that a trigger set off a wave of emotions about something in my past.
A little bit about that: I was raped in college. A stranger broke into my apartment and raped me. We called the police and my mom flew down the next day and we went through all the “Stuff”. But what has occured to me is that there wasn’t really anyone there for me. My “friends” thought I had brought a man home, my mom at one point doubted if it was true. My landlord didn’t believe me because I didn’t want to call my family at 3:00am (my mom was suffering from clinical depression) and I was trying to control a situation so out of control.
So I am realizing now that this was when I quit caring about myself. I shut down and began overeating. My mom felt it best not to talk about it, so no family members ever called me. My Dad didn’t even say anything to me about it. And from that point on everything went downhill. I began drinking, not taking care of myself, I was promiscous, I didn’t care about anything. I have been sober now for 4 years, but the weight still follows me and haunts me. The Body Restoration course has been instrumental in getting me to this place of awareness but I am stuck on what to with the informaiton. How is it going to help me start to take care of myself?
This is the first time this thought of being alone when tough things happen has occurred to me. I have been through therapy, I am not depressed, I have dealt with the rape, and forgiving. But its been over 25 years since it happened. And yet, its all new to me.
So, now I know. But how do I apply this to healing. To working through it? Any thoughts or suggestions? Anyone else out there dealing with something similiar?
I tell her I love her, love her, love her…no matter what! And that I will support her in any way I can no matter what. I tell her that this is a serious sickness that needs to be treated as a sickness. The day when it was a risky behavior problem is years past. I tell her that I know she’s been living in hell and it won’t be easy but that she has what she needs to take her life back. And I tell her I know she will!