you will fly again…

This is a blog post I wrote on January 21, 2009…I just really keep feeling like someone out there needs to hear it. xoxo Melody

You will fly again
Want to know 4 words that changed everything for me? Here they are…“You Will Fly Again…”

This blog post is for anyone with a broken heart right now…anyone with a broken spirit…anyone with broken wings….anyone who is trying to figure out how to put their life back together. This is for you……

I met my darling friend Lula some time last year….a beautiful, tiny woman with small hands and kind eyes and long white hair. When she looked at me the first time I felt like she looked right through my skin and saw everything I ever felt. After we talked for a few minutes…and I thought I was getting away with the surface conversation we were having…she took my hands and said “you feel like you have been fired from everything you thought you knew, with no explanation, don’t you?” My mouth fell opened, so stunned….I had never had anyone put my feelings into exactly the right words…but she did it.

Then…she looked at me deeply, and softly squeezed my hands. We were sitting knees to knees….she made sure I was really paying attention, waited for a few more big tears to fall and she said…”Melody, You will fly again…I promise.”

I then went on to tell her about the dreams I was having and the way I was feeling and the books I was reading and how everything just pointed to broken wings…..wings that felt like they could never heal or mend…..that my best years were over…….and…how devastating that was. How permanent it felt.

I told her how I’d always been a huge proponent of PICK YOURSELF UP, DUST YOURSELF OFF and START ALL OVER AGAIN. I told her this time it was different. I couldn’t do it….I felt broken and I didn’t know how to ever feel whole again.

I told her about the recurring dream…..of being a little birdie, and sitting under the tree watching all of the other birds fly…..birds I used to fly with….and new birds…and birds that didn’t even know how to fly when I used to fly up there….but now they are flying. I told her how I would just sit under the tree and watch all the birds fly, and cry…..BUT, that I didn’t know for sure why….I wasn’t sure if I couldn’t fly, or if I wouldn’t fly. All I knew is that I wasn’t flying, and that it hurt.

I told her that I read books about how to find your passion, how to ‘fly’….I read books about how to find out who you are and what you want to do with your life…

But…….they only made things worse. You see, I told her…I KNOW how to fly. I have flown before…I used to fly fly fly day and night. I don’t need anyone else to show me how to fly or how to find my wings……my wings are broken….what do you do when your wings are broken?

Sitting birdie Well, it hurts. It doesn’t make sense…I think that’s one of the hardest parts….that, one day you feel like you could conquer the world and soar to the highest heights…one day you feel like you are riding the wind, letting the current take you away…..everything flows….you have a bird’s eye view of life….

and then, something happens….and now that I have been through it, I am seeing it happen again and again to other birds….and it doesn’t matter why you feel like you lost your wings or that they are broken past repair….it doesn’t matter whether it’s because your husband cheated on you or your business partner betrayed you or your cancer test came back positive or your house went into foreclosure or you lost the baby that you waited so long for or the parent that you need now more than ever…or that one of your children has gone astray or your husband is chronically ill or you are chronically ill or your business failed or your prayers weren’t answered the way you wanted them to be….

doesn’t matter…it all hurts the same….and lots of times it leaves you to crash to the ground in a botched emergency landing.

there’s one truth that ties it all together, though…….that you WILL fly again….you will.

We humans, we fly with our hearts. All we need is hope, and faith….when we lose that, that’s what puts us under the tree, flightless…..watching everyone else and wondering what happened. I know it’s hard to find hope and it’s hard to find faith when we feel like the whole world just got swept out from under us…..when we feel like we are too full of holes to be anything but empty. But, I promise…you can fly again, and you will. I know that…….let me tell you how I know……


Vintage butterfly
I found out today that there are over 17,000 different species of butterflies…..
Different butterflies

and that there are over 10,000 different species of birds.

Anatomy of a wing
Anatomy of bird

I learned that the anatomy of wing is so super-high-tech that it absolutely, positively HAD to be by divine design. I learned that God takes ALL of His masterpieces VERY VERY VERY seriously. He gives his winged things, and ALL of His creatures, great and small…everything they need to be successful, to fly….not just to fly, to soar. (unless you are a chicken….but, I’m sure there’s a big huge reason that they don’t have soaring wings but hot wings instead….)

And….I didn’t just learn today, but a very long time ago…..that…..even though we are all human beings (created in God’s image, by the way) that there are millions of different kinds of US…and that we are all made with everything we need….and like wings on a bird or a butterfly…..We fly with our hearts.

AND WE WERE MEANT TO SOAR.

Let me show you and tell you why I know that……This is about as personal as I have ever gotten, even though anyone who has ever read my blog knows…I am a pretty open book….I put it all out there, and take it or leave it, love it or hate it..this is me…no apologies…none….but, this here, what I am about to show you….wow, this is REALLY personal. And, let me tell you why I am doing it. You see, since my last real blog post…I have gotten SO MANY LETTERS and emails…so many…of people who are in so much pain…and I have tried so hard to keep up with personally writing people back (and I’m so sorry if I didn’t get to you yet)….and, I am seeing, that for every person with the courage to admit how broken they feel…there are hundreds more who are too ashamed…because….I was. Weird to feel ashamed for being in pain…but, that’s us…we are human. Weird to feel ashamed that you can’t fly…but, we do…I know I did.

Here’s my big personal secret…this sculpture. This, I made one night when I could not find any words. Then, when it was done, I put it in a dark box…..and put the lid on…and left it there for many months….I did not want anyone to ever see it….because…this sculpture was me…..and it was YOU, if you are broken or ever have been…this sculpture is wingless and hairless and clothesless and eyes-less and hopeless. This is where I was. But, what I see is that I did know that the only thing I could do was to give my heart to God. (that is what is in her hand) This is when I felt like my arms and my legs were barely attached to my body (just by a thin string) and my wings were not attached at all. This is when I did not know how I was even breathing because my heart was not in my body but in my hand…this is when all that I had left was enough hope to hand my heart off to God…to beg to Him to help me fix my wings….that was all I had left. This is when I was crying out and begging…begging for the courage and strength and the will to fly again.

I want my wings back

Wow….this is vulnerable huh? this is personal…like I said…take it or leave it…this is my truth and I am committed to living my truth for the rest of my days….no apologies…none. I just know I have to tell you where I was so that you know that I KNOW that you will fly again. I know you will.
I KNOW YOU WILL FLY AGAIN!

Because I AM FLYING again…..and, it is miraculous and beautiful and amazing and…….now I can see the birds under the trees…where I used to be….not only see them…but really really FEEL them…so, I have to tell them what I know. YOU WILL FLY AGAIN.

Now…let me tell you what else I learned today..I learned what to do when you find an injured bird……directly from the ornithology society it says…

“Place an injured bird in a covered box (with air holes punched in it), and keep it in a warm, QUIET place. Do not try to administer first aid, offer food or water to the bird, and avoid lifting the lid to check on its condition. The less it sees of you, the less stress it will experience, and the better its chances for recovery will be.

Hmmm…I thought that was great considering I had put my little sculpture in a dark box, put a lid on it and let it be.

So…are you giving yourself a break? Are you letting yourself heal up? Are you understanding that it’s ok if you need to be left alone to get things figured out? For me….once I was in a “covered box in a warm quiet place” I was really able to let God do what He needed to do for me….but that took lots of trust. That’s back at the end of 2007 when I CLOSED FOR RESTORATION….I really did too….we moved way out in the country, an hour away from everything for a whole year….that wasn’t planned on my part, but it sure was exactly what I needed.

Here’s what happened……and it was sort of uneventful…and natural….without a big ceremony or any kind of warning….the lid came off the box…..I sat there for a minute..and then I tried to fly…and guess what? I still knew how….and, I was strong enough. And….I am flying a little bit every day now…feels so so so good….especially when I think about how I REALLY HONESTLY BELIEVED that my flying days were over………oh no, honey…..no way…that’s not the kind of life that was meant for us. We were born to soar….

Flying birdie
so here’s me…..a little flying birdie……and it feels so good….even though I am not one of those really fast and really elegant and really exotic birdies….I am who i am and I am flying….and I am so happy. It was time for me to fly again….and it was not on MY timeline because I would have chosen for it to come much sooner…BUT….God is never early and never late…but always right on time….(in the words of Egonda’s daddy, one of my greatest teachers)

I will leave you with one final little message from my sage friend, Mary Kay……..we sat in her Pilates studio earlier this week…..and, as she always does, she coached me with some really wise words……she said….that she wishes that New Year’s resolutions did not come in January…that it’s just the worst, most unnatural time..during the Winter..when everything is dormant and we can not plant or grow anything…that it is just not natural…that winter is for rest and renewal and recharging…..and that spring will come soon enough….

and I realized….that flying is that way too….some years we are in the winter of our life……..and it seems like nothing is happening…that everything has stopped…that it’s cold and lifeless…but, it’s only a season…and then spring comes…and we can fly again.

YOU WILL FLY AGAIN…I just know it. YOU WILL. Now…go make a list of all the things you can do while you are in your little box, resting, mending, healing….make that time for yourself…because before you know it…you will be soaring….

….when you are sitting under that tree, all alone…seeing all those birds flying above you…..look past the birds that are flying…and look past the clouds…and ask our God, who loves you and knows you…ask Him to show you exactly who you are, give Him your WHOLE HEART…and then you will know FOR SURE that you will fly again as soon as it is time….

xoxoxox
so much love to you little birdies…..
melody

You will fly again 2

Comments

  1. Karen says

    I watched your video yesterday night. I’ve been going thru some stuff and it meant a lot. Then today I got out my journal and wrote out everything, or started to write out stuff. I was honest with myself. That’s what my journal is to me. When I began it with one of your classes, I told myself, no matter what, I’d be honest. What I wrote hurt. I poured my heart out. I didn’t want to. I didn’t want to. I wanted to push down my feelings yet again. It just hurt too much, but I did. God spoke to me, not literally, but in my heart. Then I remembered your video. I’m so happy that I found it again a few minutes ago and was doubly glad you had it in print so I can print it out. It really touched me deeply, very deeply. Thank you Melody. I don’t know if you’ll ever read this, but God knows. Your course “She did it anyways” is an eye opener to me. You see, first you talked about going off-line because of your problems and your PTSD. Then someone on-line in the Walk talked about the book “Finding Spiritual Whitespace”. She also talked about PTSD. This was just too much. You see, I realized I have PTSD. I tried to explain it to my sister and she didn’t understand. My husband wouldn’t believe me, but he is doing his best which isn’t always enough, but God is. He spoke to me thru you. God bless you!!! XOXO

  2. Nicky says

    Thanks for this. I have so much I wish I could pour out. You are a real blessing to me and I wish I could sit and cry on your shoulder because I know you would understand.

  3. michele hileman says

    ..your words are like the rings of a pebble dropped in still, clear water..and they reach out further and further to bless the ones they touch with each new circle.. your Thanksgiving Black Friday thing was so awesome.. i had just gotten out of hospital and was still so sick unable to really do the walking around, handing out the truths.. but an idea came to me. My 84 year old mother and my 58 year old brother that is recovering from 2 broken hips and also has Down Syndrome are basically house bound and have staff come into the home all day, everyday, except for a few hours at night.. and i thought what if i made up the daily truths and put them in a beautiful crystal vase on the table where they all chart for their shift.. it could make their Thanksgiving a little brighter..
    well beyond what i could have imagined the brave girl truths reached out and blessed.. one nurse is in an abusive relationship, one she has not talked about tho she comes to work her bruises and bite makes covered with make up, up her eyes becoming sadder and sadder.. she would apologize for everything! even one day when the wind blew her car door back at her and cut her forehead.. i was helping her get bandaged up and said she needed to go to hospital to get stitches….i thought wow something is going on.. well those those truths, she takes one everyday, are helping her reach out for help and she says they were written just for her she has reached out and started sharing the hell that is her life…. she told me she carries one in her pocket of her uniform everyday.. she puts them up on her wall at home so she can remember them and the one in her pocket she holds on to when the bite marks and the black eyes and worse than those things, the words he says to her bore into her soul.. the brave girl truths are telling her the things he yells at her or whispers into her ear as he punches her: are not true..she is finding the courage to get herself help and counseling and a way to get away form her absolutely harrowing existence …she did not know how she could go on much longer and then your beautiful truths showed up in the crystal vase, the sun shining thru the crystal as it sat on my mother’s old wood table…other of the staff every shift they too come to work and grab a truth.. my mom says it has become a daily ritual for all the workers.. and for her…and she reads one to my brother..you have changed lives…you have saved lives with your truths..you are helping people that would never have heard these truths.. learn to fly again.. some just starting to believe it is even possible.. that they could even deserve to fly again..some still in the box…you have a divine and angelic calling and i thank God for the moment i read my first Brave girl truth… and for you..your honesty and sharing your truth is a blessing…thank you; you may never know all the lives you have touched, rescued and or saved because of your sharing yourself.. but know that it is profound and deep.. and every thing you share reaches those God sends out your heartfelt truths to from your heart to theirs…..

  4. DeVonne Allred says

    I wrote this just a few days before I signed up for your Soul Comfort class. And then I read this post today. Thank you Melody and staff for all you are doing to help others find their way.
    You’ve inspired me to try and learn to fly again.

    My anguished cries ascend
    then fall breaking into a
    million pieces.
    The shattered words
    are shards of pain
    each one causing
    more sorrow, more suffering.

    This journey’s road so different
    from the little girl’s play
    when I was always the mommy
    and kept my babies safe.
    I was a believer in fairy tales
    and knew we’d live
    happily ever after.
    My story today has wandered
    far from that happy path,
    and the thought of giving up
    always on the edge of
    my consciousness.

    I met another like me
    our communication
    elicited by broken hearts
    and fractured souls.
    She said that there
    should be a hospital
    for mothers.
    Where we could go
    when the pain
    grew too big
    over lost children.

    This resonated . . .

    What if they could open
    me up and take out
    the ache that never
    goes away?
    And splint the shattered
    dreams and longings
    once so whole -
    so intact.
    My wounds run deep.
    Maybe a numbing IV
    could give relief
    for a moment.
    Could they give me assurances
    that I would recover
    and everything
    would would be allright?

    Where is this place. . .

  5. Ami says

    I am reading this for the first time. I am broken and I don’t know if I will heal. in the past two years we adopted two children that after two years we had to move to a therapeutic home to get help. We just weren’t able to “save them” I became very ill after the adoption and almost died. It took over a year for me to have enough energy to make it through a day. Here I am a month after moving my two youngest children to a treatment facility I am mourning the loss of my little sister She was only 33 and left behind a daughter and son. She died two days ago of renal failure due to a drug overdose. I lost my brother a couple years ago too. There is oh so much more that has happened. We left an abusive church and lost our friends etc. I just needed to tell someone. Melodie and the Brave Girls staff thank you for being here for me. I love you gals.

  6. The Fundamental Alchemist says

    Hello. This post was very beautiful. I’m inside my box healing at the moment, but I’m also paving the way for when the lid comes off. This isn’t a plug for my blog but that’s what’s helping me get through it. I hope that every one else who is lost and heartbroken finds something they can be inspired by.

  7. Aimee Ellis says

    I’m new to this. My name is Aimee and I had a friend introduce to your site. I’ve watched your video a couple of times now and really taken it in. I had a stillborn daughter a year and a half ago who we waited for, for 7 long years. I was due 4 weeks from the day that I had her. My life has drastically changed since that day. I am trying to hard to find hope and faith back into my life. I do have so much to be grateful for. However, my heart has ached since that day. What a great message and a way to reach out to touch a lot of people lives. Thank you for touching mine today.

    • Katie says

      Aimee-
      My heart aches for you and I pray that you will will find peace. There is hope in this life and I KNOW you will find it.

      Love,
      Katie

  8. Taara says

    ITS FEELS SO GOOD TO READ UR POST I CAN’T TELL U. ITS SO INSPIRING FOR ME BUT I GUESS ITS BECAUSE I ALSO CAN’T FLY, I WAS ALSO FEELING THE SAME WAY BUT THAT’S ALSO TRUE THAT I WAS FEELING IT BEFORE READING AND NOW I FEEL LIKE I CAN FLY WITH MY HEART, I REALLY CAN.

    THANKS MELODY FOR GIVING ME HOPE.
    THANK U SO MUCH.

  9. susie carranza studio says

    wow…i was just looking through your site (i’m a long time follower) and don’t know how, but i came across this post. but i know why – i REALLY needed to read this right now.

    my husband and i have been dealing with so much this whole year (starting with the unexpected death of my beloved father in law, then the purchase of our first home falling through)…i misplaced (lost? gave up?) my wings, and am trying to get them back so i can fly again. i can’t tell you how much i needed to read this right now. ♥

  10. Dawn Burnside says

    Hi Melody, My name is Dawn Burnside, I don’t know if you remember me, but a few “years” ago you somehow saw my story of being assaulted (I was stabbed over 28 times & had a hammer put through my forehead, which gave me head trauma). Anyway, you shared a very personal story about you & your husband that I will never forget. Then you lovingly offered me a spot in SR!, which I did. And that’s when my life changed forever. I too am flying again, & you gave me the tools, & the beautiful women to share with, that are my friends to this day. They still help me, & listen to me, & they encourage me to “fly” on a daily basis. I start my day Every day with my “Daily Truths”, & that is when I am quiet, I read them, & I talk to God. Thank You so very much for lovingly, & kindly helping me learn to fly once again. Your beautiful message here has touched me so, & the sculpture you did is so very moving. I would not be here flying free if it were not for YOU, & for that I am eternally grateful. I hope to see us all flying together, soaring ever so high. I LOVE this place, & I LOVE You too.

  11. laurel says

    Thank you for reposting. I don’t even recall how I stumbled onto this page, but it is perfect. exactly what I needed to hear just at this point in time. God is good.

  12. Anna says

    Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I have been so lost for such a long time and I didn’t know if I could ever fly again. You have given me hope that I will be able to come out of this dark hole. I saw your sculpture and cried. It was me as well. I have now got the strength to go to University at 67 years of age. I am determined, one step at a time to get my wings and start to fly again.
    Anna from Australia.

  13. Mona says

    It’s interesting how we always think we are alone and no one has suffered the pain we are experiencing. It’s simply not true. I have begun life over three times now and refuse to be broken. I will always get up and fly again. I am astounded at the pain and sadness out there. The loved ones I have lost would be so disappointed in me if I gave up. I am needed, others depend on me and I will NOT let them down.
    How wonderful of you to try and help others. In doing so we often help ourselves.

  14. Vicki cook says

    Just perfect! Please continue to repost!

    I’ve gone through all the phases of giving up, letting go, having faith, staying open, finding my gifts and now I feel as if I’m in the finals stages of really, truly believing in myself, recognizing and honoring all of the hills I’ve had to climb to get me here. I’ve experienced an amazing breakthrough of clarity and ownership and empowerment in the last four weeks and I may not be there yet, but it’s on the horizon now, baby!

    Thank you for reminding me that even though I may not find my wings tomorrow, on my terms (though it’s taken me a lifetime to prepare). I AM WORTH THE WAIT.

    Love you from the bottom of my heart,
    ~ vicki xo

  15. Eubie says

    Grateful to God that this post came my way today. I have a huge change coming about in my life and am not fearful but yet wondering how I am going to get it all done. Take care of my girls on my own, work, and find healing for myself!?!? I totally trust God and His plan and I will have to take it one day at a time I suppose. Thank you for all your encouraging and beautiful words that I read every chance I get. I don’t believe it is by luck that I have you all but by divine appointment through our Lord. Blessings!

  16. Becky says

    Finally a person who gets it, feels it and isn’t afraid to share it. You have applied a healing balm to my bruised and battered soul. Thank you a million times over. You speak my language – lovingly.

  17. Terri says

    Thank you Melody! This is my first time visiting your blog. I was sent here by a wonderful person, MB, who draws birds. We met by “accident” on her Caring Bridge page when she was so sick. I have felt lost and hopeless for so many months now. No one understands, everyone thinks I have so much, blessed with so much. My husband does not understand my lack of motivation, heck I don’t even understand it. I can’t even begin to figure out how to take care of myself again. I was so strong, now I feel weak, ashamed, exhausted and just un-motivated to participate in my own life. I have tried to put myself in a box but someone always wants me out of the box. My family is very demanding, and I love it, I love them, but I have very little peace in my life. I don’t know how to open myself up to God, for many reasons I have a wall in place when it comes to Him. I want to fly again!!! I want to be the old Terri, but I really just go day by day, dragging my wings behind me. Thank you for the great blog, I will be visiting daily!!!!

  18. annette says

    Thank you – there have been so many wings appearing in my life this last year – your post helped me “connect the dots” – my friend at work sent me your website two months ago, i finally looked this morning and wings! I had a roof and porch roof FULL of sparrows multiple days this past fall – i feed them and they all came to help me I believe – they brought their babies and were relaxing in the sun. Even had an albino crow show up (i assume that is what he was).
    Ah, now I only need to feel worthy of the healing – so I will will be on the site regularly – thank you for reaching out to all of us – I do hope our responses feed your soul to continue on your path – just beautiful. sending you a gigantic bear hug :0)

  19. Kellye Kimmel-Fondren says

    I have been meaning to read this for a couple of days now and when I saw it I realized that I had read before but I don’t think I really applied it to myself at that time because I don’t think that I thought I deserved it. Boy so much has changed since then. I will hopefully always carry these words with me for the rest of my life and always remember that I am worth it. Thank you so much for your openly honest message about your own life that is helping so many other people including myself. I have to say I love you Melody Ross. You are definitely one of my heroes.
    xoxo Kellye

  20. Cynthia says

    During the reading of your post, I was touched and also reminded of a spontaneous song by Julie Meyer’s titled “I Never Knew”, which has the lines “A new beginning, so I can start again, new life again, new love again, I’ll live again, I’ll fly_____I’ll fly again_____I say, I will fly ~ again.” And there’s much more that relates. If you have a chance to listen to it, I believe it will bless you. Anyway I wanted to thank you for baring your soul and reaching out to others who will take hold of this life ring you’ve thrown, and hold on to hope. Thanks for sharing.

  21. Autumn says

    Thank you. My baby Anna Grace died last month…there were 6 of us ladies at church who were all pregnant at the same time. Now they have their babies to hold and I have a plot of dirt in a cemetery. I feel like that birdie. SO thank you for giving some hope to those of us that are still waiting to feel the wing beneath our wings.

    -Autumn

  22. kim says

    Watch over me dear lord I pray
    The devil’s on my back
    And everytime I think I’ve grown
    I realize there’s no slack
    I love you lord you’ve helped me grow with an itty bitty seed
    Keep me growing give me strength
    as your word I start to read
    I understand so little yet I do what I am told
    To grow within you lord I know mu story will be told
    Thank you lord for loving me giving me your blood
    I want to ne so worthy of that selfless kind of love

  23. laura venosa dellaporta says

    Dear Melody, Hi.. this is the first time I stopped by to vist & read your beautiful, heartfelt & insightfull words of wisdom. I loved your story and wanted you to know It was just what I need to read tonight. perfect. You are giving such an amazing gift to all & I can see why you are loved by so many. Keep soaring..rest every now & then so you can continue to help us all fly! xo God Bless you always Laura

  24. Debbie says

    Simply beautiful… I do believe the cracks are the path to letting in the light. And, there is a direct correlation between birds and angels. So happy they lifted you up! Love, love, love this post. In my “box,” music helps to lift the lid. I have been listening to Grace Potter and the Nocturnals, Falling or Flying song non-stop.

  25. Karie W says

    I sure need this because the place I am right now in my life seems so hopeless. I am too tired for words, tired of the struggle that my life has dealt me the past 2 years. I wish there was a light at the end of the tunnel. I have recently found your blog and have devoured everything I can read on here. You have given me hope and I pray every night before I go to bed that I can find my wings again for me and my children, They and and I truly deserve more than I have been able to give in a while. God bless you and your blog.

  26. Cheryl Thompson says

    Thtere are no words to express how much this simple blog post means to my heart and soul. My only hope is that someday when I am flying again…I can help another find her wings. Thank you for speaking the truth in your eloquent, stirring way.

  27. Michelle says

    This is me…I know how and what to do, I just can’t seem to get the organization, energy, motivation…thanks for sharing. I hope I can get back to flying. I love it up there. :)

  28. sue Alley says

    You are our gift from God. The way you speak directly to women’s souls amazes me every single day. I cry for all those times we all felt this way and I’m so happy that you have found a way to save and mend all the broken wings.

  29. Kim says

    I just have to tell you THANK YOU for this positive, uplifting story. I have only seen a couple of your posts in the past because my cousin “belongs” to your Brave Girls Page- and somehow, through my surfing of your page, ran across this story. I have been in somewhat of a “funk” (for lack of a better word) for close to a year now, and am struggling to get out of it. This story gave me the hope that I needed to “fly again”. THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU !!!

  30. Niki in Baltimore says

    I don’t know how i m and survive until then.issed this post the first time around…
    Thank you for saying that you didn’t need someone to teach you how to fly or find your wings; you were broken.
    That is the hardest thing to get people to understand in this difficult time of my life.
    I have sored before. I know how. I know myself. I am not confused. I am not lost.
    But right now i am broken somehow. I don’t have the will to fly any more.
    I believe it will come back; i am just trying to heal

  31. Sarah says

    Oh Melody,
    I needed to read that. I have been feeling that way for SO SO SO long. I’m having a hard time believing that God has a plan to bless me. I feel like nothings working out and life-wise I’m the most broken I’ve ever been in a very very long time. But this time, my spirit isn’t broken. I have faith and hope and I know that God loves me. I’m broken, and yet peaceful.

    Thank you thank you thank you.

  32. Jules says

    What can I say – this totally hits home with me. I have been in a dark place for about 3 years now. So much pain and loss in that time frame. My personal mantra has been, in all of this, to “be still.” So I can totally relate to the birdie in the box, healing, mending. I am also an artist and I love to draw trees – they have been part of my healing journey. But strangely enough, in the past few weeks, angel wings have really started having meaning to me, wings – symbolic, not sure, but some part of me is ready to be brave and fly again. The winged heart… I love it. My father passed away during these tough years and I swear in little ways he gives me messages – during Christmas, in retrieving ornaments and decorations for the holidays, I found in the garage a pair of gold angel wings that had apparently broken from an angel ornament, one I don’t quite remember. And I have yet to find the angel itself – looked around, no other broken half. I put those wings on my work desk and let them fly above my computer. Then I put them in my car on my mirror and that is where they are for now. Then my mother gave me a solar angel for Christmas when in the sun, the wings flap up and down. She had no idea of my obsession for angel wings. So… those wings flap in the sun on my kitchen window sill. It sort of seems to me that the message is to fly again. I am so glad I found you. Thanks for helping me to feel just a little bit braver just by reading your lovely words.

  33. Cathleen says

    Tears, and more tears…thank you for sharing your beautiful healing words!!! It was like you were writing from my own heart and your sculpture was of me. It’s so freeing to think I will fly again…I want to be a brave girl and to believe we aren’t alone, those of us who have given up trying. Your beautiful post has given me a bright glimmer of hope!!

  34. Alexandra says

    Thank you so much for sharing this.

    …And remember, don’t expect too much of yourself. After all, you’re only human.
    You don’t have to put yourself on a pedestal of perfection, leave room for mistakes because EVERYONE makes them.
    Never be afraid of your mistakes and your faults, embrace and learn from them.
    It’s okay not to be okay, just remember “You will fly again.”

  35. Alisha says

    Oh my goodness. I’m in my box right now. A couple of weeks ago I finally gave up. Gave up putting SO much pressure on myself. I was ready to crack. SO much junk running a constant dialouge through my head. I was exhausted, and finally coudn’t take it anymore. I had put up with it my entire life. I finally gave myself the break I needed. It took a long time, and I truly didn’t think I could do it. I thought I was going to have to live my entire life with that junk running the show. Now I find myself warm and cozy in my little box. I’m reading a lot more books right now, letting my house go a little, accepting the unconditonal love from my husband that I’ve always shied away from. Trying to be vulnerable instead of keeping the walls up. I’m giving myself the permission to do things that I love, and letting go of all the other stuff that dosen’t HAVE to be done. I know this is a temporary state for me. There are things in my life that I’m taking a break from that I know I can’t live without forever. Things that I LOVE with all my heart, but things I needed a break from. I like this little box, for now. Hopefully when the time is right I’ll be able to remove the lid and soar. Soar for the first time ever. Once again THANK YOU for sharing your heart Melody. BGC is helping me learn to fly. :)

  36. Amy says

    I needed to hear this. Thank you for sharing. There is something wonderful and healing about knowing other woman know how I feel. Thank you again for sharing this Melody.

  37. Nancy Resnick says

    If my cats could read, they would understand why I’m welling up with tears and bobbing my head while reading this! Until a couple months ago, I have been in a place soooo dark and hollow, I never even considered seeing the sun again. Since taking SR1 and SR2, I have found that the box I put myself in actually has an opening, and I can finally see Light!
    Thank you so much for your words, thoughts, kindness and Love! Thank that beautiful
    white-haired spirit doll of yours that came in as the glue to your battered wings. She is most precious, and so are You!!

  38. LeeAnn Garrett says

    As I sit here in tears coming from my heart after reading this, I want you to know Melody, that this post is exactly what I needed to hear today. Feeling like that broken little bird sitting under the tree and wondering how things will ever happen so I can fly again. Was feeling like maybe this is my fate and that I’m suppose to just accept it and stay under that tree the rest of my days. I don’t often let others see that real side of myself. I hide it well. I think partly I hide it because I look at what others are painfully going through and tell myself I should be thankful and that what I’m going through could be worse. So I don’t let myself just be there and heal. Does that make sense? I know God is with me, but I think when we don’t allow ourselves to heal through it, take the time and give ourselves permission to feel the way we feel, then we stay stuck. It’s just hard to know how to BE when you are suppose to let yourself feel through it. I think sometimes when we are in this state, it is easy to think that God doesn’t want more for us, that we should just give up our dreams and accept this stuck place is possibly what we were created for. As I type those words I realize and know our creator didn’t design us to give up on the dreams in our hearts, instead I must remember he designed me with those desires.

    Thank you Melody for sharing your brave heart in words so personally with us. (me) I am amazed at the gift God has given you in helping others because of what you have gone through yourself. I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone who can put her pain in words and what she has come through, like Y♥U do so well. You truly are such a gift to this world and a shining light that helps others (ME) to see hope. And I think you should write a children’s book about your little birdie with the broken wing under the tree. Maybe you’ve already thought of that.

    Love you!
    Lee Ann

  39. Diane says

    Dearest Melody, Your beautiful heart becomes more beautiful every day as you share YOUR TRUTH. One of the struggles I had when I went through my dark time of the soul after the loss of my daughter (which lasted 7 years) was hearing all of these people tell me horrible lies about my brokenheart time, like “You need to stop feeling sorry for yourself and get out there and do something for others”. Things like that made me feel only worse about who and where I was. I needed to just be in a box, surrounded by warmth and caring. I needed to be in an intensive care unit for broken hearts. But the intensive care I found was being alone surrounded by God, Love and my angels. They healed me but it took a long long time, much longer than I wanted, and I did not think I would ever fly again and I accepted that. However, God had/has other plans. Today I am flying again, although not very high and not for very long. I am still weak but getting stronger day by day. However flying low puts me closer to those who are unable to fly at all, therefore I can call out to them and let them know I care and offer hope and healing. Thank you thank you for putting into words, my own experience. And thank you thank you for being so BRAVE and sharing your story in such depth. You have NO IDEA the courage and hope you have given me today. I love you dearest Melody.

  40. Michelle says

    With all my gratitude, thank you……. I was one who needed to read that, and with tears in my eyes, and falling down my cheeks, I am taking those words as my new treasures…………

    Incredible piece of truth, honesty, love and beauty…….. Oh, I wish to soar above the trees again……. I will continue to open my heart and believe in good…….

    Blessings and Sparkle from Australia, thankyou for the gift of this blog……….
    Michelle

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