I want to gift you a signed copy of my new book!!! We’ve never given away this much stuff before!

We want to give you a beautiful and signed copy of my new book, CHOOSE HAPPY, which was just released and is already getting rave reviews! melody ross with choose happy book

We also want you to try out our SOUL SCHOOL and our BRAVE BOX..we usually don’t have extra BRAVE BOXES but this month, we ordered extra so that we could give away more books…..so, this month only, you can try out the Brave Box (you get this with Premium Subscription) and in addition to all of the amazing gifts you will receive in your box….you will receive a signed copy of CHOOSE HAPPY. (everyone who is already subscribed or subscribes now to our Premium Level of Soul School gets a Brave Box with the book inside) If you are brand new to Soul School….you will also receive a WELCOME BOX. All in all, if you are brand new…you will receive about $80 in beautiful gifts just for signing up this month at the $45 subscription price. CLICK HERE TO LEARN ALL ABOUT SOUL SCHOOL AND READ TESTIMONIALS And…you can cancel at any time, but we are sure that you won’t want to….because every month is a new trove of treasures for your soul…..

choose happy book angle

Soul School is a monthly offering of short little classes that are good food for your soul. This month, the theme is CHOOSE HAPPY and there are 7 little mini lessons that center around making the daily choices that lead to your happiest life. These lessons have video instruction and downloadable PDF worksheets.  And…..with the Brave Box…you get a whole box of beautiful treasures that will reinforce and spotlight these lessons…including affirmation cards, journaling prompts and worksheets and pretty little things with beautiful messages on them……check this out….IN ADDITION TO YOUR GIFT OF A COPY OF THE BOOK…you will receive…..

-MAY COVER SHEET rgb

 

We have a new little affirmation card every month. They make quite a beautiful little collection…..this month’s is CHOOSE HAPPY….here’s a photo…

choose happy affirmation card

Starting this month we have a little deck of bigger affirmation cards called “BRAVE GIRL FLASH CARDS” there are 7 premium quality cards….one card for each of the lessons included this month in soul school……..7 brave girl flashcards

 

Also included are worksheets with journaling prompts to do at your own pace. These classes are incredibly meaningful and soul restoring…but also really fun and simple. You can do as many of the little mini courses as you have time for…and at your own pace.

4 worksheets MAY

 

We also like to include lots of pretty little things……like this stuff….

 

May flair buttons

 

And to support our mantra of “let’s be good to each other”…we always include 2 beautiful greeting cards and gorgeous kraft paper envelopes so that you can send notes of love to the souls around you…..here are the cards in this month’s Brave Box…..

2 greeting cards MAY

 

Every month we also include a new collectible woven patch……isn’t this month’s patch so pretty??? (this is just the proof that the embroidery company sent to us…)

may patch

 

You’ll also receive 2 beautiful sheets of patterned paper to use in your art journals, collages, etc….

2 sheets patterned paper

and  beautiful stitchery pattern!!!choose happy stitchery

 

Because we are well known for our delicious food served at Brave Girl Camp…we also include a delcious recipe each month….brave girl recipe

 

we love to share wonderful projects with you so also included are project sheets with step by step instructions to make gorgeous things for yourself and those you love…..this month we have a few projects….paper rose wreath

 

May project & recipe sheets

Finally…this month you will receive a little kit of goodies in your Brave Box to make a pretty little banner that either says HELLO or HAPPY……..

happy hello banner kit

hello banner sample 1

may banner 2

 

Everyone who joins Soul School gets a Welcome Box full of goodies for yourself and to give to others….it’s a bundling of goodies to give a hug to your beautiful soul and also a hug to others……among a whole bunch of other little treats, you’ll receive TWO COPIES of our best selling book “YOU ARE GOING TO BE OKAY”…one to keep, and one to give away…..check out the lovelies in the Welcome Box….

 

blog-welcome-box-640x809 soul school welcome box

 

So….will you join the thousands of other Brave Girls who are enjoying Soul School every month?? We’d love to give you all of these beautiful gifts!!!!! This is the only time we will be giving away CHOOSE HAPPY so we hope you will take advantage of this offer. We KNOW you will love all of this…especially Soul School!!! And we want you with us!choose happy book angle

Here’s a little video about the book…….sending you all SO MUCH LOVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Check out SOUL SCHOOL here! Hope to see you in the classroom soon!!! I know you will LOVE everything you find in SOUL SCHOOL….there is so much to see and learn.

xoxoxo

melody

Listen to your heart messages…

Dear Fantastic Girl,

If you’re thinking, dear friend, that you are not nearly enough qualified, or deserving, or “right” to be the one with the big huge dreams….the ways to fix things…or the beautiful wisdom……….sweetheart, it’s time to change your thinking.

Someone’s got to dream the big dreams…or the big stuff won’t happen…..someone’s got to fix the stuff that’s wrong, or it will continue to get worse….someone’s got to be wise and experienced…or there will be no one to turn to when the wisdom is needed. Who will it be?

The world needs those gorgeous ideas brewing in your mind, or who else will make them happen? The world needs all of that passion that goes along with the burning desire in your heart to make things better and to fix what is wrong…or who else is going to do it? And…..honey…..all of those hard things you are learning…those lessons, those trials…..ALL OF THEM….those are the things that will bring the wisdom and the experience that is so needed in the world….because, if not YOU…who else will have it?

Brave Girls Club - listen to your heart messages listen to your heart messages

Get ready, sister……..there are big things planned for you. Keep dreaming, keep fixing, keep helping, keep learning, keep sharing.

Keep with it.

You are needed.
You are loved.

xoxo

 

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Every age has its gifts…

Dear Just-Right Girl,

Every age has its gifts. Every decade brings new opportunities. Every season of your life has its own purpose.

Try not to wish your years away, wishing you were younger, or older, wishing the signs of aging would go away, or wishing you could get through this phase of your life in a flash.

The world needs more women who embrace their wrinkles, or who love their time at home when their children are small, or who know the power of wisdom gained through being alive for so many years, and who are absolutely comfortable in their skin. The world needs more women who sing through life’s winters, who dance even though their bodies jiggle, who count the laugh lines as decades of wonderful memories.

We are women. We are brave and we are beautiful and we are real. Let’s be happy exactly where we are, now and at every age. When we can adore each phase of our own life, we give each other encouragement to do the same–wrinkles, cellulite, crying children, loads of laundry, bifocals, and all.

self

You are absolutely gorgeous and your heart is even more stunning. Don’t ever forget it.

You are so loved.
xoxo

I love myself enough to do what it takes (to get well)- PART 2 of a series about adrenal fatigue, chronic hives, hormone imbalance, weight gain, emotional healing, etc. etc. etc.

I love myself enough repeat brave girls clubHi Friends…I’m going to keep writing until I tell you everything I know…

This part is about what has worked for me physically on this journey…(the physical part is only a small portion of the journey, and this blog post is only one part of the physical part…so please come back for the future installments about more of the physical parts, as well as the mental, emotional, spiritual and relationship parts of my healing journey)

I continue to feel better and better. I want that for you too. This is the second installment in this series…HERE IS A LINK to the first part…..and again I have been reluctant to publish it because this has been such an intense, complicated and personal journey….and mostly because I know for sure that each one of us needs to get a professional opinion before entering into any kind of a program that involves supplements, medicine, etc……so, be sure you do that, ok? I am just going to share with you what I have done.

I want to help you so much if you are where I was. I want that so badly…that is why I am writing this all out. Please keep in mind also, my friends…that I am still a work in progress. I have to be so careful every day or I backslide….and that happens!  I know this is going to be a long journey and a complete life change that has to be permanent. I am still learning. I still have really hard days and I still make really big mistakes. I still get lazy and careless about what my body needs. I am only an expert at this to the extent of what I know and what I have tried.

Here’s where I am today…..I don’t have hives anymore….it’s been 6 months since my last outbreak. I have lots of energy. I feel good. I am losing weight. My hair and skin is healthy and glowing. I don’t have mood swings. I am sleeping. I am HAPPY. I am at peace. I love life. This is all VERY DIFFERENT than how I felt a year ago and two years ago.

melody ross brave girls club yellow

If you are like me…you want to see sort of a list of what is working. I will put that at the end. I can’t just start there because it is so much more complicated than that…and it would be cheating you out of what this is really about, as well as minimizing what it really takes. But…if you just have a little bit of time….I have listed my daily regimen at the end of the post.

OK, so let’s talk about the physical parts of this journey. I’m going to discuss my physical body…what my body has gone through and what my body has needed. Currently I am down about 17 pounds I most days I feel fantastic. That is a miracle to me after how I have felt the last few years. When this all started, I took the health of my body for granted. Our bodies are just such fine mechanisms….miracles, really….and they just breathe and pump blood and distribute chemicals that we need when we need them. They work so perfectly….until they don’t. But when my body was working… I never thought too much about it. It was fairly easy, if I was careful, to stay at the same weight I’ve been at since my twenties. I had a lot of energy. I slept well. I have always tried to eat right, for the most part…so I was pretty healthy all along. However, I consumed a LOT of caffeine….and artificial sweeteners. I went on lots of crazy diets when I wanted to lose a few more pounds. I had no respect for my body’s limitations and when I was tired, I just consumed more caffeine.

important things take time brave girls club

I also worked too much and played too little. I said yes to just about everything that was ever asked of me. I didn’t make time for rest, recuperation or self care. The thought of self care never even entered my mind except for maybe a pedicure here and there….some spray tanner…maybe even a massage once a year or so……that’s what I thought self care was.

I need to tell you upfront that although this part of the series is about the physical side…..in order to start addressing the physical side, I have had to have a complete and total change of heart and mind. When I sit down with people and tell them what it has taken to get well….some are just honest and flat out say that it sounds too hard to do all of this. Then…they come back months later because they are getting sicker. I guess when you get sick enough, and you get tired of living your life as a sick person, you will do anything. If there was anything that I know for sure that you absolutely NEED to have to be able to get well and whole in life….it is a new frame of mind about it…the willingness to do whatever it takes. The change of heart required to love yourself enough to finally begin to take good care of yourself might be the hardest part of all of this…..and I promise you that I will be writing SO MUCH about that….but I am starting with the physical parts.

Over the course of a few years, as I look back…..my health started declining gradually in almost every area physically. I started losing energy. The caffeine stopped working and only made me nauseous and jittery. I lost my ability to cope with stress the way I used to. I became very sensitive and allowed my feelings to get hurt a lot….I took things personally. I felt wired and exhausted at the same time. My heart raced almost all the time. I would get surges of massive anxiety and adrenaline just as I was trying to go to sleep that would keep me awake and exhausted for hours….then, once I finally did go to sleep….I would awake in a panic, heart racing…massive anxiety that kept me awake for the rest of the night.  I started getting social anxiety and I became someone who could hardly be around people, especially if I had to have a conversation. The thought of having to have a conversation scared me so much that I started to hide out so that I didn’t have to talk to anyone. I started to gain a few pounds…then  few more, even though I wasn’t eating any more than usual and even when I tried to limit my calories….I still kept gaining weight. My skin and hair dried out. I was either really cold or really hot. I felt humiliated and angry about all of it. I didn’t want people to see me like this. I berated myself and beat myself up over my lack of ability to control it….I beat myself up over my limitations. I was really mean to myself when this all started….and for many years into it. I didn’t want to be the way I was, and I let myself know it.

When I ran out of energy…even from caffeine….I started eating the quick energy that my body craved…sugar and simple carbohydrates…bread, white rice, potatoes……that accelerated my sickness and my weight gain. After a while, I didn’t even have enough energy to care what I put into my body.

Then the hives started. The welts. So…..not only was a getting chubbier, none of my clothes fitting…but I was also covered in hives that hurt, itched and made me look scary. The energy that my body was using the fight the histamines that were invading me made me even more exhausted. This was a miserable few years.

THEN NOW 1 melody ross

I was completely out of energy….but I kept working just as hard. I worked myself into the ground. I felt resentful about everything that I had to do every day…but I never told anyone how bad I was feeling so of course I spent a lot of time feeling sorry for myself and self loathing at the same time…..being a martyr. Being a damsel in distress. Waiting for someone to rescue me. Feeling powerless. Feeling angry. Blaming situations and people and relationships and circumstances for the way I was feeling. None of that did my body any good at all….and kind of took me to rock bottom. Part of getting well has been taking 100% responsibility for my actions, my emotions, my thoughts and the part I’ve played in life that has gotten me to where I am. One of the first and most important parts of healing is admitting our own part in our sicknesses. Being a victim, a damsel, a martyr…..those are some of the most common places are where sickness lives. My physical body needed me to believe the truth that I am not powerless and that no matter what was happening in my life….it was my choices that got me there. It hurts to admit that!!!! And you have to forgive yourself for being someone whose choices and thoughts you no longer respect or want to be part of. You have to meet yourself with mercy. Once I did the very hard work of owning that…….I got my power back.

THEN NOW melody ross 3

Knowing your power…stepping into your power…..accepting your power….taking responsibility for your power…appreciating your power and the source it comes from…AND TAKING RESPONSIBILITY FOR EXACTLY WHERE YOU ARE….It is SUCH a long process, my friends. And it hurts. It hurts to admit that we are hurting our own selves, that the abuse that led to our destruction was by our own hands. It is scary to not be able to blame anyone else for where we are. It is also the most powerful and freeing secret to good health and vitality and heart and soul peace that there is. My physical body is so thankful that I have taken responsibility for everything. I am not powerless. I am powerful…..and I have physical limitations because I am human. I have to eat, I have to drink, I have to sleep. I have to love, I have to accept love. I have to create. I have to think. I have to pray. I have to ask. I have to give. I have to connect. My body needs these things. I have the power to make sure my body receives these things. I also have the power to protect my body from the things that hurt it. It is my responsibility to make sure all of this happens. It is not anyone else’s responsibility….because I am a grown woman. I am not powerless.

I am not powerless brave girls club

So….this means….

Today I sleep…at least 7-8 hours every night. I am so incredibly protective of my sleep. I take a LOT of supplements every morning and then some more in the afternoon and evening. I do not eat sugar. I do not eat grains. I try to eat as much food that was grown in the ground as possible. I limit how much meat I eat.  I drink a lot of water. I have a timer set on my phone for every 2-3 hours and I make sure that I eat something when that alarm goes off so that my blood sugar stays level. I do not consume caffeine or rely on caffeine. When I run out of energy every day, I have to rest. I go to bed earlier. I had a lot of expensive tests done to find out where my body was lacking….and I have had to sacrifice a lot of things that I really want to be able to and have right now to be able to spend money on the supplements and help that my body needs and was completely out of. I still don’t have a lot of energy to exercise…so I just walk. I order salads at restaurants or I don’t go out. I carry food that I can eat with me everywhere I go. I don’t make excuses about why I can’t take care of myself. If I am not taking good care, I own it.

Remember please that I am only speaking about the physical parts of things…..and honestly I think the other parts are even more important….the mental, emotional and spiritual parts…the relationship parts. If you are reading this series…please make sure you come back for the rest because these physical things are such a very small part of things.

this is worth it repeat brave girls club

Before I tell you my daily regimen, I want you to know that I had blood tests done for everything and a saliva test for my hormones and adrenals. I needed to see where my levels were. When I started I was stage 3 adrenal fatigue. My cortisol was incredibly low, as was my adrenal levels. I was high in estrogen and low in progesterone. My vitamin d was low, my cholesterol was low…everything was low. I was depleted in every way. I could not have known all of this without the tests. Please go get the tests if you possibly can.

So….here’s a little list of what I do for my physical body every day (unless I am being lazy….and then I don’t, and I wish I had) If you are wanting to go this route…please go and see a Functional Medicine Doctor, that is my advice to you. Many times these doctors are also chiropractic doctors. You can work with my doctor over the phone if you don’t have one…she has changed my life…I told her you might be calling :)… and her link is…DR. SHAMANIE HANECA

Here’s my daily regimen……..

  1. I wake up after having at least 7-9 hours of sleep and take my thyroid medicine…it has to be taken on an empty stomach…I take Armour Thyroid and I have been taking it for 13 years.
  2. I wait 30 minutes before I eat. At this time, I drink a big glass of water…and I try to have at least one glass of water with fresh squeezed lemon. I try to drink as much water as I can in the morning.
  3. I eat a breakfast that has some protein and a bit of carbohydrates and fat. Usually, I have a shake mix that is already mixed up with all of this stuff in it. A protein shake. There are a million different kinds of these out there and so just talk to your doctor about what is right for you. I don’t eat sugar or gluten so I have shakes that are sweetened with something other than sugar.
  4. I take my supplements. Most of my supplements are from Metagenics….a company that makes pharmaceutical grade supplements that are checked and regulated and distributed mostly by health professionals.
    1. I take a supplement that is a combination of many things for my adrenals (Adrenogen)
    2. I take an adaptogen (Adraset)
    3. I take a multivitamin with Iron (PhytoMulti)
    4. I take vitamin D drops
    5. I take a histamine helper for my hives (although I have not had hives for 6 months now!) (Peramine)
    6. I take a high quality probiotic (UltraFlora Balance)
    7. I take tumeric (I buy it at Costco)
    8. I take fiber pills (I get them on Amazon)
    9. I take fish oil (Omega Genic EPA-DHA)

5. I eat every 2-3 hours….a mini meal. With protein, carbohydrates and fat….no sugar, no grains …meat, vegetables, nuts….or a prepackaged meal that contains what my body needs. There are a LOT of diet programs that offer prepackaged food that works great when you need to eat little meals every few hours.

6. I have an infrared sauna. I try to use it 3-4 times a week and I really should do it every day. I stay in it for 45 minutes after drinking a ton of water. It has changed my life…honestly. It was very expensive and I had to save up for it. It is made by Sunlighten Saunas and I urge you to do some research on what these saunas can do for you. I have the Solo and it was worth every penny. My skin is so healthy….my body is so detoxified. It makes me feel so good.

7. I don’t eat dessert with everyone else. I don’t stop for fast food. I don’t have sugary or salty snacks. I eat cut up vegetables, pickles, nuts. I find other things to do with my time than eat…because I used to eat for the fun of it.

8. I have a bedtime routine that does not include my computer. I slow down and spend time with my husband. I try to be asleep by 11pm no matter what….so THIS MEANS….I do something that I really needed to do. I spend time with him til then, and then I sleep in the other room. This may sound crazy or even controversial….but my wonderful man loves to watch TV late, and loud…and then he snores. When I was very sick, my doctor told me I had to give up caffeine and I had to get very good quality sleep. We set up a bed for me in the den. I made it beautiful and cozy and happy….I call it my sleep sanctuary. I sleep ALL NIGHT now…..it is one of the most important things I have done for my health. My bedroom is still my bedroom. My marriage is stellar. It is for sleep and I have fallen madly in love with sleep. If you are ill….I urge you to spend 30 days getting the best, most quiet and cozy sleep you possibly can every night…even if it means moving to another room.

9. I drink freshly pressed green juice. I stopped drinking caffeine by drinking pressed vegetable juice…it helped me quit and it helped me stay off. 1-3 times a day, in a masticating juicer, I juice 3-4 carrots, a slice of ginger, a whole peeled lemon, 3-4 cups of greens like chard or kale, some celery, cucumber…anything green. When I am trying to release weight, I don’t include fruit….but when I am not…I will put an apple in it. It is mostly about the greens for me. It makes me feel fantastic. I actually crave it now. It doesn’t taste like a fruit smoothie……it’s not what I would call delicious….and it’s hard to get used to at first…but now my body craves it the way it used to crave caffeine. It takes a lot of discipline to juice….but it is so worth it!

10. I don’t drink soda or any caffeine. When I want soda….I drink soda water. I miss the bubbles sometimes….so I drink it with ice. I even have some natural flavorings that are sweetened with Stevia…so I can have cream soda with vanilla, etc. When I go to restaurants, I order soda water or sparkling water with lime.

11. I stop eating a few hours before bed….at least a few hours. I drink a lot of water before bed.

12. I was using progesterone cream for a while, but I don’t need it so much any more. It really helped for a while as things were getting evened out…so ask your doctor about that.

13. When things were very bad…I did a lot of things outlined in the Gerson Method. It works!  Google that if you want to know about it. There are things in there that are hard to discuss in a blog post :)

14. I don’t let food pushers get to me. I am firm in my decisions and my boundaries. This is my life and my body! You are worth it!!!

What I want you to know is that I am feeling good……quite good. I also want to remind you that I am taking time to write all of this out because I love you and I want to help…and I can’t stand the thought of anyone being where I was and not knowing what to do. I want you to have hope!!!  My heart and soul and mind are in a very good place…so is my body. I am down about 17lbs currently….so I am not even halfway to where I want to be…and I am kind of at a standstill currently because I haven’t been trying very hard to release weight for the last few weeks during camp and staying out of state with my daughter after she had a scary delivery of our first granddaughter.

melody ross brave girls club grandchildren

 

Sometimes I have to put my focus on other things. My relationships are all more peaceful, happy and wonderful than they have ever been in all of my life. This part might make me sound like I am on drugs…but I am truly happy. I am at peace. I feel so good about life because I am taking responsibility for MY own life and allowing and expecting others to take responsibility for theirs…I am trusting others to do that..and knowing that others are wonderful and capable and so am I…and we all get to be in each other’s lives as we do that…I can show up and love and love and love and love…and I do, but I still know that I can not force any other person to live their life journey in the way I think they should. (and why am I even thinking that I should know the exact way another should live their life?) I can teach what I know, and what I believe…..but I can not make another person know or believe anything…even my children!

melody ross and sons brave girls club

 

So…I just love and offer what I know…and I show up to my most important sacred relationships with love and no expectation. JUST LOVE.  With boundaries for myself but without manipulation or expectations.  I got to this place by working through my anger, my resentments, my disappointments, my hurts and my expectations. It was hard work!

My body thanks me for not trying to hold the very heavy weight of being responsible for any other person’s journey. I teach and love and trust my children. I help them when they need help. I do the same for my husband. I do the same for my friends. My body also thanks me for not expecting any other person to rescue me, or love me to wholeness, or save me or complete me. My body thanks me for not expecting others to change to suit my own needs…but to work on changing myself to suit my own needs and desires. I have so many wonderful people in my life…we all love each other so fiercely. I am a mother and a wife and a grandmother. My relationships are the best part of my life…my joy!!! We can allow those roles in our lives to be heavy weights around our neck, or knives in our gut with all of our expectations, though….can’t we? Let’s let others off the hook when it comes to our happiness and health. Even our partners. Silly guy down there…love him so much…..

melody ross marq

For the sake of my body (and my soul, and my mind, and my relationships and my spirit) I have chosen to not have detailed expectations of others anymore and certainly not to have conditions for the love I feel for them. My body thanks me for that. I have boundaries and I enforce them…but those boundaries have to do with me and what I can and can not tolerate…what I choose to tolerate or not tolerate….what I want and do not want to surround myself with…not with me judging another human as being lovable and worthy. We all get to decide for ourselves what our boundaries must be!  I have learned to let others off the hook when it comes to their responsibility to do things so that I can be happy….to be things so that I can be happy. I love them, support them and help them wherever I can….I do all that I can and I let that be enough. I let others show up exactly as they are. My body thanks me for that.  I  do all that I can to teach and love my children and then allow them to learn consequences of choices they make and help them with all of that.  I let who they are and what they are be enough. Is there a better way to love than to just love another without expecting anything in return? They are fantastic and miraculous and wonderful as they are…when we expect others to be something else…we miss out on what they are.  I am in a place of gratitude for everything that life has and is.  I am in a place of total forgiveness toward myself for everything…I am in a place of total forgiveness for others about everything. I forgive life for everything. I trust God. I know that God loves me. I know that God loves you. My body thanks me for that.  I love life….even on the hard days. All of the work I have done to get to this place has been worth it….and every day I choose to stay in this place of peace and truth….then I choose it again. And…it is not easy. And sometimes I mess up and get angry and blame…and feel sorry for myself….and tell myself it’s too hard. Then my body reacts by losing it’s vitality. This is hard work….hard work that reaps incredible rewards….but the alternative is out of the question for me these days. I don’t ever want to go back to being a damsel in distress or a victim or a martyr. I don’t want to be sick. I want to be alive…fully and full of light and alive. I want that for you too!

melody ross i love you brave girls club

Next up….some more information about the physical side of things…I will tell the whole journey about my hives….and my hormones…..this is all going to take a long time to write out…I’m sorry it’s taking so long. It’s just SO MUCH STUFF.

Sending love to you all.

xoxo

melody

life is good beach

You will get through this….

Dear Courageous Girl,Many times, life throws us into a battle. These are times that teach us, strengthen us, test us and show us what we are made of.

Don’t ever think for a minute that you are weak when it feels like life is a battle.

Life doesn’t give us battles to turn us into vengeful fighters, rather to show us the strength that we have that we don’t even know we have until we have to use it.
Life is not out to get us, but rather there to teach us. Life is not working against us, but absolutely for us.
Sometimes life hands out some really tough love, but if we take it as love and return with love, openness and faith in the journey, miracles happen.

Brave Girls Club - youwillgetthroughthis

It is ok to feel weary sometimes. It is ok to cry and even to shout at the sky. It is ok to throw fits when we are at our wit’s end. The important thing is that we keep those fits short, make them count, and then move on – move forward, keep moving, keep learning, keep hoping, keep believing, keep smiling. Things have always worked out. Things will continue to always work out.Be brave, dear girl.

You are so very loved.
xoxo

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Get busy….you know what to do

Dear Terrific Girl,

Sometimes the things that are tugging at our hearts come with strings attached that feel too risky, too difficult, to scary to follow.

Sometimes we keep doing the same things day after day, even though we are treading AGAINST the water, even though we really want to be doing something else, even though we want to be somewhere else or with someone else, even though all signs point to a totally different direction.

You know what you are supposed to do, lovely…you know the answer. Your intuition has been telling you for SUCH a long time, and every day that goes by, the little messages keep getting stronger, the miracles keep showing up, the signs keep appearing….in ways that you cannot deny.

permissiontosoar
It doesn’t matter if your path is not a common one. It doesn’t matter if some people will not understand…sometimes it doesn’t even matter whether YOU understand all of it.
What matters is that you follow YOUR heart…that you listen to YOUR soul….that you do what YOU are meant to do.

Now, get busy….you know what to do.

You are so very loved.
xoxo
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Sometimes the best way to help ourselves is to help others….

Dear Loving Girl,

When life feels overwhelming, upsetting or grim…we can instantly change our outlook on things by getting out and serving someone else. Somehow, when we turn our focus to someone else, and especially to making their load lighter, or their day brighter…it comes back to us ten times stronger even than what we put out. That is some sweet math, isn’t it?
If things are tough right now, even if you feel like you don’t have time……just try it out. Make a phone call, write a kind note…..bake some cookies or make a piece of art for someone. Take time to really visit….help someone do something that is hard for them and easy for you.
Something so beautiful will happen that you will forget about your own sadness for a while…and when things start feeling tough again, you have the power to get out and serve someone in little ways all over again.

Just try, my friend. It will be worth the effort.

help others

This is one of the most magical facts of life….and it works every time.

You are amazing and brilliant…and oh so loved.

xoxo

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Feed what is true and good…

Dear grateful girl,

What do you choose to see? It might seem like so much is going wrong around you, and it might even be true….but there are always many many more good things to see and wonderful things to be grateful for.

If we can get our thoughts to sway away from feeling lack….whether it’s financial or emotional or physical…and instead focus on every little simple and beautiful and lovely thing around us…our lives can be full and abundant and joyful.

When we have difficulties finding the beauty we are looking for, we always have the ability and the choice to go out and create it.

Between the beauty and truth already out there and what we can create….we can each find joy and strength at any time. Isn’t that wonderful? Life is so good!

You are so very loved.
xoxo

Brave Girls Club

 

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I love myself enough to do what it takes (to get well)- PART 1 of a series about adrenal fatigue, chronic hives, hormone imbalance, weight gain, emotional healing, etc. etc. etc.

Ok…first I want to tell you why I am doing this. I am doing this because this journey to regain my health has been very difficult, very confusing and many times very lonely. What helped me most is hearing the stories of how others have healed. So….I am doing my part and telling you what has helped me. There might be some things here that help you, things you might want to try or ask your naturopaths, doctors and healers about….PLEASE do your own research about your own body before you take any of the steps I have taken. I am not a medical professional. I’m just sharing what has worked for me. I am not feeling 100% yet…so I am still on this journey too…but I feel like I’ve hit a stride and things are just continuing to get better and better.

to go where I need to go to find peace

If you are new here…I’m Melody….I was born in 1971 so right now I am 43 years old….almost 44. I have 5 children and have been married for 25 years. I have 2 grandchildren, too. (the best part of my life!)  I have been a business owner for almost all of those years. Life has been wonderful and busy and also very hard sometimes.  I got really sick a few years ago after a decade of traumatic, stressful and difficult years where one horrible thing after another happened in my family, my business and my personal life. The hardest part was that my husband got a traumatic brain injury and took 6 years to get him well and get him back.  Once my life started calming down a bit, I started getting sick. It started with chronic welts that disfigured my face and body, then went to adrenal exhaustion (severe stage 3), I gained over 40 pounds and I lost my vitality, my energy and my passion for lots of things. Everything in my body was depleted….hormones, adrenals, blood pressure, cholesterol…all of it was dangerously low. I wore my body out and it’s been a very long journey. But I’m finally starting to feel like myself and I just want to share this information if you are in the same situation. This is me today….I will share some photos in future blog posts of when I had hives, etc……because doesn’t everyone like a good before/after photo? :)

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Ok….here’s what will NOT be in this blog series

  1. An easy way to fix all of this
  2. A program I want you to buy (although I will tell you about programs I have tried that have worked and give you info if you ever want to try them)
  3. Someone who knows exactly what they are doing…..I’m just telling you what I have learned and what I know so far…because I know how it feels to not know what to do or how to do it and also to have tried so many things that didn’t work

to choose what works best for my life

Now let me tell you what WILL be in this series…(and why this series will be long and so many parts   )

WHAT HAS WORKED FOR MY PHYSICALLY…

  1. The supplements I have taken
  2. The medications I have taken
  3. The foods I can and can not eat (and other things I’ve tried concerning food)
  4. The symptoms I have had and their patterns (the hives, the weight gain, the exhaustion, the brain fog, the emotional instability, the grief, the discouragement, the aging, the depression, the shame and blame, the ups and downs)
  5. The kinds of professionals and healers who have helped me
  6. The exercise my body can do (and can not do yet)
  7. The rest my body must do (and what I’ve had to do to make it possible)
  8. The relationships that my body reacts to both positively and negatively
  9. The stressors my body will not tolerate anymore
  10. What has worked to start and continue shedding the weight I’ve gained
  11. Building FUN into as many things as possible
  12. I will also share some before and after photos and some photos of where I’ve been in this journey along the way

to eat the best foods

WHAT HAS WORKED FOR ME MENTALLY

  1. The new mindset I’ve had to adopt and integrate about my unconditional worth and my personal responsibility for what comes in and out of my life and what I give to the world
  2. The thoughts I can allow and can not allow
  3. The things I have learned to focus on
  4. The things I’ve had to become an expert about
  5. Planning and scheduling my self care into my day like it is the most important thing I could ever be doing, (because it is)  and not letting anything interfere
  6. Understanding and even doing scientific research to find that what used to work for me when I was young will not work the same for me now….my body is different
  7. The books I’ve read, the talks I’ve listened to, the research I’ve found
  8. Building FUN into as many things as possible
  9. to create comfortable and beautiful spaces

WHAT HAS WORKED FOR ME EMOTIONALLY

  1. Going to therapy and healing my emotional wounds and issues
  2. Being 100% honest about my feelings and not willing or stuffing them away or being dishonest about how severe or even how minor they are….being honest about all of it
  3. Dealing with my anger (which I have denied all of my life because I really and truly thought that I was just not an angry person, but that actually I have much repressed anger that has turned into sickness)
  4. Dealing with my hurt and resentment
  5. Getting rid of clutter in all areas of my life
  6. Making very strong, clear and strict boundaries and keeping them (with myself and others)
  7. Owning ALL of my emotions, all of my decisions, all of my actions, all of the words that come out of my mouth, all of the thoughts I think, all of the ways I react to everything. Not allowing blame toward anyone in my life anymore because I have to take control of my life and what is happening inside of me is largely my choice…and what I do is my choice. I’m a grown woman and can not blame how I feel on anyone else.
  8. Walking away from or changing relationships that hurt me, stress me or are not resonating with me (this is a matter of life and death)
  9. Letting others walk away when I’m not a good match for them and not chasing after them
  10. Forgiving EVERYONE for EVERYTHING (this does not mean let toxic people in your life, just forgive them and wish them all the best and let it go)
  11. FORGIVE MYSELF FOR EVERYTHING ALL THE TIME FOREVER (no matter what)
  12. Understanding that I am going to have big setbacks….like, I was doing really great and then my dad got sick and then he died….it was very heartbreaking, traumatic and unexpected….it set me back a lot and I wondered if I was going to have to start over completely in my healing…but I bounced back and I knew what to do. I am certain that I will continue to have setbacks, and that it will be okay.
  13. Making a commitment to love, honor, cherish and stay with myself in sickness and in health, for better or for worse and taking that commitment very seriously
  14. Understanding that what worked for my body when I was young does not work the same for me now. My body is different than it used to be….and that is ok.
  15. Understanding and accepting and cooperating with the cycles of life of the human body and aging…growing older….looking older….behaving as a valuable wise woman
  16. Building FUN into as many things as possible

to burn my list of imperfections

WHAT HAS WORKED SPIRITUALLY

  1. Admitting that I need help from my creator
  2. Accepting the unconditional love and acceptance of my creator
  3. Building and maintaining a deep relationship with my creator
  4. Understanding and accepting and cooperating with the cycles of life of the human body and the everlasting soul
  5. Getting my view of who I am from myself and my creator only…not from anyone or anything else.
  6. Learning from my creator and believing my creator that my worth is absolute, is infinite and does not have to be earned, nor can it be taken away.
  7. Believing my creator when my creator tells me how incredible I am, how loved I am, how watched out for I am, how seen and heard I am, how protected I am, how equipped I am, how beloved I always will be
  8. Believing that my creator wants me to be happy, to have fun, to heal from my trauma, to learn from my struggles, to create, to have wonderful relationships, and to help others whenever possible, but first to help myself…and that my creator is there to help me with ALL OF IT, ALL OF THE TIME, no matter what.

to forgive everyone for everything

I have not blogged about this yet because it is so multifaceted…and truly, my friends…there is not an easy solution to this that I know of. (and believe me when I tell you that I have looked and tried and researched and tried again…just about everything) The truth is, it takes time, it takes dedication and it takes doing a lot of things that most people aren’t willing to do until they are on death’s door….the hardest thing of all is putting yourself ahead of everything else that takes every bit of your time and energy. It is very very very hard to do this if you are a caretaker…or if you are a human. :)

But if you are feeling as crummy as I have been feeling…..I know that you are ready to do whatever it takes to get your life back.

I’m called this “I love myself enough to do what it takes” BECAUSE that is the very first step. To do what has finally worked, I have had to make some very big changes that have required me to change my heart and my mind and myself. I have had to learn how to put myself on my list…and much of the time, I have had to put myself FIRST on my list and that is something I have never been able to do….not only that, but I had to heal a very broken belief that putting myself first was bad…selfish…arrogant….etc. Actually, putting myself on my list AT ALL was all of those things. I can now proudly say that I have learned to put myself on my list every single day…and that I feel very good about that and want everyone else to do it.

to see my own beauty

Ok so let’s start this blog series with where I was before I learned what I have learned about all of this…….and then we will get right down into the nitty gritty of what has worked for me in the next blog post that I do. ok?

Sooooo…what I want you to know is that I wanted a quick fix. I tried a lot of quick fixes. I also want you to know that the people who knew what they were talking about told me that this was going to be a long journey….but like so many other things in my life….I thought it would be different for me…because I am a hard worker and I have a lot of willpower and I knew I could do the fast track. The problem is….that fast track mentality was largely what got me in this position.

Something else that I want you to know is that EVERYONE who knew what they were talking about told me things I was going to have to do…things I didn’t want to do…and I tried doing EVERYTHING but those things because I didn’t want to do those things and didn’t think I could. Healing from all of this requires doing things that are difficult, uncomfortable and slow. I didn’t start to heal until I just surrendered and started to do those things.

to keep going no matter what

For example. EVERY healer and doctor and person who has healed told I was going to have to give up caffeine, wholly and completely. I didn’t. I didn’t think I could. I did lots of the other things, and I did cut down on caffeine….but I wasn’t getting any better…and lo and behold…I did not start to heal until I finally did. Same with sugar. (and stress, and toxic relationships and gluten and processed food) They all told me that I was going to have to get a lot of sleep. I didn’t think I had time for that…but I did not start to heal until I made time and made my life in such a way that I could get a lot of good quality sleep… A LOT of it. They told me that these were lifestyle changes that were not for a little short time….that if I was feeling better and stopped doing these things, went back to my old ways….that I would get sick again. I did that….lots of times. It has taken me a few years to figure out that this is my new way of living…not a short term thing.

I am telling you this because I just don’t want you to think there is an easy way. I thought there had to be an easy way. I tried lots of “easy ways” …..none of this started to work until I did what had to be done.

to begin again

I was exhausted, puffy, sad, mad, annoyed, and thinking that life was not very much fun. I was moody.  I was ready to give up lots of times and just be sick the rest of my life. It was too hard to keep going when I only saw a little bit of progress. Sometimes the only thing that has kept me going is that none of my clothes fit and I really want to be able to wear my clothes!! But those are just the days that I am being vain. What has really kept me sustained is that I want a good quality of life. I want to have energy. I want to be happy. I want my moods to be stabile. I want to feel confident and full of vitality. I want to thrive and accept myself as I move into the second half of my life.

So……if you think you are ready to love yourself enough….to do whatever it takes to feel better….read on. But here’s the bottom line, sister……lots of this might not seem important or that it could be related to your health…..but the stuff that ended up helping me the most was the stuff that I kept putting off because it didn’t seem that important. This is going to require a change of heart…and the biggest change your heart needs to make is that it needs to build a big beautiful, comfortable, happy room for YOU in it.

I will write the next blog post about some of the physical things I’ve done, and I will go on from there…but this one is long enough and lots to digest.

I hope you will stick with me. I want you to feel better too. Living the way I was….it was hell. None of us need to live that way. Let’s take good care of ourselves and of each other.

So much love,

melody




Dear Fantastic Girl,If we all just followed one simple rule, every day, no matter what, no matter where, no matter who was involved, our lives could truly become consistently beautiful.

What if there was such a rule? Would it be worth following? What would prevent us from doing something that could have such profound impact and essentially give us everything our hearts want most? What would hold us back from keeping the rule every day, no matter what?

It might be worth a try.

The one simple rule is to love everyone, without expecting anything at all in return — to love for the sake of loving, for the joy and peace and relief that comes when you love without expecting anything in return.

Brave GIrls Club - ALWAYS CHOOSE LOVE

Beautiful friend, life is actually so much simpler than we make it. Try it out. Love everyone around you, regardless of their behavior, regardless of their background, regardless of what they can do for you, regardless of what they have done TO you. Love them, wish them well, help them along if you get the chance. Don’t allow their negativity to keep you from being the loving person that you are.You are so worth whatever it takes to live a happy life. This is one of the best ways. It is true.

You are so very loved and so very loving. You are strong enough to love. You are.xoxo

 

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