Take a Peek into October 2014 Brave Girl Camp

One week ago was the last day of another ABSOLUTELY magical Brave Girl Camp. We already miss our new sisters so much!! 25 beautiful souls gathered together with us at Brave River Ranch to experience a truly incredible week. There was immense healing… there were countless miracles… there were lifelong friendships and sisterhoods made… lots of tears and lots of laughter… amazing food… gorgeous, soulful, healing art… and so much more. Enjoy this little look into the wonderful and sacred October 2014 Brave Girl Camp! (Thank you to some of the Oct. 2014 Brave Girls for providing these pictures!)

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What if your dreams really are possible?

Dear Amazing Girl,

You may have forgotten some things along the way, but that doesn’t mean it’s all over. There is so much time left and today is a brand new day to begin your brand new life.

You may have forgotten that you had dreams once, and even though they didn’t come true right when you thought they would, it doesn’t mean that those dreams weren’t real or that they didn’t matter. Sometimes we just don’t have the timing quite right, and sometimes our dreams come true in ways that are different than what we imagined they would be.

Brave Girls Club - what if it really is possible?

You are still in there, dear girl. You are worth rescuing yourself and remembering all that you are, all that you always were, and all that you are meant to become.

The first thing you have to do is decide, though. It might be a long road ahead and it might be shorter than you thought it would be too.

Today would be a great day to decide that no matter how long the road is, you are going to come home to yourself and live the happy life that is meant for you. No one else can decide this for you.

Please please please do it, sweet friend. Today is a great day to decide.

You are so very loved.
xoxo

Honoring a very special Brave Girl as she heads on her next adventure…….

It is hard to say goodbye! This month marks 4 years since Patrice first came into our lives when she came to camp. We fell immediately in love with her and we all became fast friends and sisters. Patrice even came to work for Brave Girls Club and we were SO LUCKY to be able to work with her. Now Patrice is headed on her next life adventure and we couldn’t let her go without honoring her and showing our appreciation, love and support for what is coming next in her life. She is incredibly talented, funny and wise. She is wildly creative and thoughtful and brilliant at beautiful details. She is an incredible mother and one of the most devoted wives you could ever know. She is a phenomenal friend and a doting sister. We love her so much and will miss her incredibly…..as we cheer her on to make her own dreams come true…..

patrice 5

Patrice made an enormous difference while she was at Brave Girls Club…..she was an unforgettable part of camp and she added so much to our courses and the sisterhood of Brave Girls all over the world. Anyone who met her will never forget her. She has been a huge part of our family, our life and our dreams. We love her so much.

We honor dear beloved Patrice for her faith, her love, her passion for life and her bravery for living her truth and being kind to her dreams. Feel free to leave a comment here for her so that she knows just how loved and appreciated she is.

We love you, Patrice!!!!!! We are cheering you on!!

melody, kathy and the BGC team

kathy patrice malary patrice knit me terry patrice kathy patrice 5 patrice 7 patrice and kelly patrice decorating patrice hugging patrice michael boise arrival patrice michael wedding patrice michael patrice villa patrice with us terry and patrice knit

love you so much, Patrice!!!

 

 

What is so scary about that first step?

Dear Brave Girl,

It starts with that first scary step…that step that we sometimes spend years avoiding and putting off…that step we often tell ourselves we will finally take ‘tomorrow’.

What is so scary about that first step?

Let’s put it into perspective and look at what it really is. It’s just a step, lovely. Just a step. And you don’t even have to decide right now if you will take the next step after the first one.

Just commit to that first scary step. It doesn’t matter if your first step is clumsy or looks ridiculous or if it doesn’t get you as far as you thought it would. It doesn’t matter what others think. It doesn’t matter if you fall that first time. It doesn’t matter.

You know you want to take that step or it wouldn’t be burning in your heart the way it is now…the way it has been for so long.

Brave Girls Club - Daily Truth - TAKE THE LEAP

One thing is for sure. You can stop after you take that first step, or you can take another one, and then another. You get to choose.

Remember that without taking that first step, you will NEVER get to where you truly want to be because you will still be where you are NOW.

You are so brave. You can do it.

You are so loved.

xoxo

 

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What’s holding you back? Maybe it’s time to let it go…

Dear Extraordinary Girl,

Is there something that is heavy on your heart?

Is something holding you back or keeping you in a state of worry or exhaustion or confusion or hurt?

Ask yourself an important question, dear friend. Will this matter a year from now? How much will it matter? When I look back in a year, will I wish I had handled anything differently? Will I regret how I am letting this hold me back?

Don’t let your worries steal your day. If this WILL in fact affect your life a year from now, break it down into little chunks and take action. Taking action is a sure-fire way to begin to disintegrate worries and frustrations.

Brave Girls Club - Let It Go, Let It Fall, Let It Be

Let it go…let it be October 2014 Soul School Come join us!

Get to work to make it better.

If it’s something that really won’t matter…then it’s time to let it go.

There is too much that IS important to think about, to focus your energies and your thoughts on.

It’s time to move forward. Go out and be your phenomenal self, and enjoy every second of it!

You are beloved.
xoxo

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When letting go is the hardest and best thing to do

Sometimes we have to let go of things that we love very much…things we may have thought we needed to be able to become the person we were meant to become. Then when that thing is gone…we are left wondering how we will ever become what we were meant to become without it.

Letting go of something that you love always hurts. That is ok. It doesn’t have to hurt forever, though.

everything changes

I once had a dream about the pink blossoms that were covering a tree right outside my window as I slept…blossoms I had been waiting all winter for. I had gotten used to those blossoms and after many long and cold months…they were like a reward for enduring that season in my life. Things were very very difficult and there was tremendous uncertainty, pain and confusion in just about every direction. Everything in my life felt like Winter…cold and lifeless, leafless.  I fell deeply in love with those thousands of pink petals…so it was no surprise that they showed up in a dream.

The dream started out beautiful and serene…then quickly became traumatic. In the dream, as I was sitting and enjoying the blossoms (which remember, were my reward for making it through) a breeze came up and started blowing the blossoms right off of the tree, sprinkling the grass with pink petals.

I was horrified and angered. So……I did what I often do….and I ran inside to find something to fix it. I got a bottle of super glue…and I frantically ran around the yard picking up every single blossom I could find and climbed a ladder and raced to glue them back on to the tree. Of course…as I was gluing…..the wind was blowing off more blossoms. And….the buds underneath were pushing off the petals I glued on. So…I just sat in a heap in the lawn and sobbed……because it all felt so devastating and unfair…I mean, those blossoms were only there for a few days and now they are gone already????

control glue

I held on tight to the control glue.

Then I woke up. And I was still crying because everything in my life felt that way. I was trying desperately to hold on to everything in my life and fix everything that was falling apart, and it all felt so personal and futile. All I wanted was for the blossoms to stay forever….was that so much to ask?

let it go

It is too much to ask…. because life is constantly asking us to let go so that we can all become exactly what and who we are meant to become next.

Sometimes it hurts beyond belief. Very rarely does it feel fair, or easy or right. We resist letting go, we make deals…..we cry and beg. We build fantasies around things being the way we want them to be and sometimes we just keep pretending that things are alive that died long ago. We glue dead things back on instead of letting them go on to be what they are meant to be next.

Those blossoms that fall off of that tree every year disintegrate into the ground to feed the tree for it’s next stage. They have a purpose all the way along……they are becoming what they are meant to become next.

When we have to let go of stages of our life…or relationships….or dreams that have run past their due date or are just outdated in general…..we have to let go of things that are meant to become something else, which means they are not in our life the way they always have been….it hurts.

And why does it hurt? It hurts because we want it to be what WE want it to be. We want it to be different than it is. It hurts because we make plans and we want everything to live up to the potential that WE had in mind. It hurts because it feels like we must have done something wrong to have things not turn out the way we wanted them to….when the only thing we did wrong was have an expectation that was so rigid that it is impossible to see things any other way and still be happy. Sometimes when we just let go of an expectation, our eyes are open to see that things are actually already better than the way we planned….and it was right in front of our eyes all along.

Everything good and natural is always on it’s way to somewhere else. Everything is always becoming what it is meant to become next. When we resist this…we suffer so much. When we accept it…we find peace. We may not have happiness when we have to let go of something we love very much, but we can always find peace in it when we let things be what they are instead of what we want them to be…when we let things become what they are meant to become instead of what we want them to become.

And sometimes for things to become what they are supposed to become next, we have to accept that we will not be a part of that in the way we want to be a part of that. Sometimes for OURSELVES to become what WE are supposed to become next….we have to let go of things that we thought would be part of that becoming, but are not meant to be. We have to let go of things we love very much.

It hurts to let go of things that we love…things that were part of our big plan. It just does.

let life be

It hurts to say goodbye to relationships, marriages, children, jobs, dreams….it hurts to let go of crazy beliefs even….because they have been a part of us for so long. It hurts to let go of ANYTHING that seems like it is part of our identity…or part of our joy….or part of our place in the world. It is scary, confusing and difficult.

….but it has to happen, dear friends. It just does. Everything is always becoming something else….all the time. Sometimes we get to do that together, and sometimes we have to do that apart. Sometimes we get to take all of the stuff we love with it, and sometimes we have to let all of it go. Sometimes it turns out the way we planned…and sometimes it doesn’t. We have to let it go.

Over the last 6 months, as my health declined…I had many more lessons from trees. My favorite grandmother trees sit in a row of 3, and one night early this summer…one of them split in half and fell to the ground…right on top of the chicken coop. It is a majestic huge tree and it is a big part of our life…..so much happens in our family under the shade of those trees. She was just done holding up so much weight one day….and she let it go. I sobbed for the better part of a day, and shed lots of tears after.

fallen grandmother tree

I decided to plant a bunch of daisies that day to honor her life and also to comfort my own self with adding more life in place of such a big death.

It was such a message about things going when it’s time to go. She became firewood…..my next favorite thing is a campfire. I wish she was still a tree….but now she’s a campfire. Her ashes will go out into the garden where the daisies are planted…and soon that majestic tree will nourish a daisy plant. Isn’t that a miracle?

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After that majestic tree fell, believe it or not….4 more trees on our ranch did the same thing. This has never happened before. 2 of them were covered with fruit and I was so sad that they didn’t even get the chance for their fruit to ripen. Another big tree in the field split and fell over…and then a brand newly planted tree snapped right in half in a windstorm.

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fallen apricot tree

 

 

Every one of those 5 trees this year still kept the half that didn’t fall off. AND….that is where I am at now too. I have had to let go of SO MANY THINGS THAT WERE PART OF ME just so that the rest of me could stay alive. Now, I have a big scar where all of that fell off…..but also, I am getting stronger because all of my energy and nourishment is now going to what is left of me….and soon you won’t even be able to tell that anything snapped off. Just like the trees

broken tree

So….sometimes the things we have to let go of are things that we thought were so much a part of us that if they snapped off, we would surely die. But sometimes those things just get too heavy, and we can’t survive unless we let them go.

So…..this is a whole lot of letting go.

And….of course I turned the whole thing into an online course…so if this is where you are in your life, I hope you will check it out….it’s not a long course, but it’s an important course and I would sure love to have you…..either way, I hope that you will let yourself let go when it is time to let go. CLICK HERE TO CHECK IT OUT or just go here.. http://my.bravegirlsclub.com/soul-school-registration/

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Because you matter….and carrying around dead things is no way to live.
You are beloved. SO am I…we all are. That is why I know it is going to be okay…no matter what we have to let go of.

xoxox

melody

Choose to see what is right…it really is a choice

Dear Brave Girl,

We always have at least 2 choices in each moment…and these are 2 of the most important choices we will ever make, even if 2 is a tiny number.

We can always choose to LOOK FOR WHAT IS RIGHT…or we can choose to look for WHAT IS WRONG. Can you see what a marvelous and compelling difference there is in these 2 perspectives? One of them builds up relationships, brings hope and creates new ideas and joy. The other tears down confidence, feeds fear, keeps us stuck and makes us feel miserable.

Brave Girls Club - Feed what is true and good

Try it, dear friend. Just try it, especially if you feel stuck in a situation or relationship that feels all wrong. Just look for something that is right inside of it. There are ALWAYS gifts to be found in everything, even if those gifts are simply the lessons that we learn from difficult situations and people.

And one of the most beautiful and light-filled things you can do when you are faced with a difficult human being, is to go to the ends of the earth to find something beautiful and true and right about that person, and then do everything you can to SHOW that person what is right about them, instead of reminding them of what is “wrong”. This experience will change both of your lives.

Miracles truly can happen when we focus on what is right and do our best to just learn from what is wrong.

You can do it. You are so amazing. And you are so loved.

xoxo

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Missing pieces from unlikely places….

Dear persistent girl,

The missing pieces of your life , the magic solutions and the save-the-day-heroes come from the most unlikely places….

It’s important to be open to the surprise endings and beginnings that show up just when we think we have it all figured out.
Sometimes things that look like mistakes end up being great discoveries.
Often a person who seemed lackluster at first sight turns out to be our greatest teacher or friend.
Sometimes a disaster is just the final event that’s meant to get something out of our life once and for all.

Be open…try to really really see what is really happening and what is possible. Life is full of beautiful and custom designed surprises!

You are loved.

xoxo
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The thing about fooling yourself…..

The thing about fooling yourself…..

In a culture that worships youth….I don’t care what anyone says, it’s difficult when you start to age….when you start to get older and find yourself no longer young or young-looking and to find yourself having less and less days of young feeling. (Actually, it’s only difficult if you resist it and wish it was different than it is…from what I’m told, it rocks once you start embracing it)

After the summer’s yuck-fest of healing, WAKING UP and getting real with myself…grieving, working hard in therapy and with my doctors and finally finding some beautiful peace and clarity….I wanted to share with you a few more things I have learned. I am getting healthier by the minute….from the inside out…but this 2 year sickness left me about 30 pounds over the weight that I feel comfortable at….and only recently have I been able to start tackling that. It’s hard to have a job where you have to be visible while working through something that you wish you could hide until you are done doing it. I have often felt like my body is betraying me…and wished I could hide it under a blanket until it is the shape I want it to be. And I’m learning that things don’t bounce back as fast at 43 as they did at 25. It’s going to be a long journey for my body…….and I’m only just recently coming to terms with that…..and I’ve asked my body for forgiveness and decided to cooperate with it instead of fight with it and curse it….

be really kind to your reflection

AND……..I ‘ve made it a HUUUUUUUUUUUGE goal to stop fooling myself…to stop fooling myself about ANYTHING. (fooling yourself is absolutely exhausting, by the way) I have very little excess energy these days so I’ve decided to use that energy to just be brave enough to see what is real, to believe what is real, and to live in what is real….whatever imperfect broken beautiful thing that ends up being from day to day.

Because…….

In my mind I’ve been 25. And in my mind I am a nicely toned size 6 and it doesn’t bother me at all to wear very stylish high heeled boots. So…some days when I am deep in my fantasy…it is perplexing that my husband is not also 25 or 32….but heading on up to 50 years old. And then I feel uneasy about both of us…and it comes out in all sorts of twisted up ways. When you fool yourself everything feels so weird. (and please understand that this is not about physical looks….it’s an analogy to the whole dang thing with aging and years going by and losing years and things not turning out the way you planned)

let go of what was

I have been 25 in my mind for over 15 years. Well….maybe I have let myself get all the way up to 32 or 33. (I was 32, 10 years ago when my husband had his accident and I STOPPED everything at that age……..and held on for dear life really believing on some deep level that I could stop the clock until things were back to “normal”) While this worked well as a survival mechanism for the last 10 years…..and while I know that is exactly the craziness that it was…..I still hold on tight to SOME hope some days that things can be like they used to be in some magic trick because that seems like it would only be fair after all of the difficulty of those years. I am a Libra and I am always fighting for what is fair :)

Then I look in the mirror. And I used to be able to stand a certain way in a certain light in certain outfits and it made it easy to fool myself that I could hold on to my youth. Those days seem to be gone. The angles, the lighting and the spanx aren’t even cooperating in my fantasy. My mirror is ever coaxing me into the wise woman years…..trying to convince me that it is good to be in your mid forties. (or at least that it is inevitable) My photos look like a different woman all together…………..

melody aging copy

Oh, the mirror. That is where reality hits. In reality I am not 25. In fact, in reality, my oldest child will be 25 any day now. He and his incredible bride (who I love so dearly) have already given us a precious grandson.

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I am old enough to be a grandmother. I AM a grandmother…I am Mimi!  But in my mind………I am young and fit and energetic and smooth.

mimi and leo

 

….and some days I actually weep over the loss of my youth when I could be spending my heart time thinking of this precious boy. (is that lame or what?)

don't miss the important stuff

The truth is, I could not be the wild and wacky woman I am TODAY without all of the years it took to get here. I have been in a beautiful, difficult, complex, never ending love story with my beloved for almost 25 years. He is a grandfather…..a Pompie…

leo n pompie

I am the mother to 5 incredible children, 3 of whom are fantastic, contributing to the world adults. I could not be here without having lived to the age I am now.  I have started 2 successful businesses that have gone global…..the first one taught me all of the necessary lessons needed when it crashed and burned and took me along with it. I have written 15+ books and I’m working on my newest book with a major publisher that will be out this Spring. I teach classes to thousands of women every year and I can sit as a peer with the wisest of all humans……..because I have lived all of these years….I’ve won, I’ve failed, I’ve fallen, I’ve gotten back up…I’ve risked…I’ve shown up….I’ve gotten older, and older….and older……and even a little wiser.

……but yet I still try to fool myself sometimes into thinking it would be better if only I was 30 again…..

new adventures are ahead

I wish I was one of those people I have read about who ease into aging with grace and excitement and enough wisdom to know that this is a very good thing. But I have been mourning and aching and fighting it…….and, the worst part of all is that I have indulged in fooling myself into thinking that I would find the “cure” to it if I looked hard enough. I missed a whole decade, really….my 30’s, while being a caretaker to my husband and a CEO to my business and a survivor of so much dang fallout from all of that. I thought some miracle would happen that would even things out and I would get that time back when I was ready….that whole “fair” thing.

This isn’t even about looks….it’s about everything. I want those years back. It’s about hanging on so tight to what is gone and having your body turned so tight in the opposite direction at the road that’s already been traveled that there is no way you could ever see or think about what is ahead….or even what is NOW.

just show up

THAT is the thing about fooling yourself. You think you are going to get that time back, but what is really happening is that you are losing even more time by not living in TODAY. You are losing the precious TODAY. Today my grandson Leo is 5 months old and just started eating baby food. Today I just completed another amazing brave girl camp with my incredible sister as my partner. Today my daughter told me that she will give us another grandchild in 6 months. I could not have any of TODAY’s stuff if I was still 30 years old. If I keep chasing the past, I lose TODAY. And every day there is a new TODAY until 10 more years go by and if you were not going along that ride….you have lost yet another decade wishing you were still in the last decade.

The thing about fooling yourself that you can still be 25 is that you miss being 26, 27, 30, 35, 40………….42…..then 50, 60, 70………YOU MISS YOUR TURN at all of those beautiful ages.

P.S…..the coolest people I know are the older and wiser ones….seriously.

The thing about fooling yourself about ANYTHING at all is that you miss what is real……and the real stuff, with all of it’s ups and downs….the real stuff is where it’s at. It’s the ONLY place it’s at. (I’m pretty sure that’s science…….)

more beautiful days

Dear Melody,

If you want to wear yourself out, suffer a lot and waste a whole lot of time…..keep on fooling yourself and clinging tight to what was. If you want to be happy….to CHOOSE HAPPY…..get real. CLING TO TODAY….let go of the past. You are 43. You are wonderful. You are just right. PLEASE STOP MISSING OUT ON BEING 43.  (p.s. someday you will understand how young 43 really is)

xoxo,

Your 80 year old self

So whether you are 25 now and you are afraid to head into 30…and you wish you were still 18……OR….you are 50 and you wish you were 30. Or you are 18 and you wish you were 25……..or you are 70 and wish you were 50…..whatever it is….PLEASE stop missing out on your turn at being exactly the age that you are right now…because really and truly, you only get to have that turn for one year…..just one year…….

BUT THEN….you get a brand new turn to do a brand new thing…..and you get another chance to make the most of your turn at being that brand new age.

So……….I’m taking this year of being 43 as my BEST TURN EVER at being this age. I’m not gonna wish it forward and I’m not gonna wish it back.

it is your turn

I like it. I like me.

I hope you will join me in taking your turn at your beautiful perfect age. Sure feels lots better this way………..

Here’s to the wise woman years….bring it on.

xoxoxoxo

melody

p.s.

“The only good in pretending is the fun we get out of fooling ourselves that we fool somebody.” – Booth Tarkington

 

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If you have enjoyed this post, you will LOVE Melody’s new Soul School class titled, LET IT GO…LET IT BE! Learn more and register HERE.

 

You are okay right now

Dear Faithful Girl,

Want to make yourself miserable today? Of course you don’t!! But if you did, a great way would be to try to figure out what and where you are going to be in your life a month from now, a year from now, 5 years from now — and if you will be ok, and how things will EVER possibly work out and if everything is just going to come crashing down one of these days — to worry worry worry.

But you want to be happy, so you are not going to do that, right?

Please remember, lovely soul, that sometimes all that we REALLY know is that we are ok today. That is all that we NEED to know! SO TODAY is a great place to focus our energy. Please remember that sometimes all we can see is the very next step, so it’s ok if all of our energy is simply focused on the very next step, not on the dark uncertainty that seems to stretch out beyond that step.

YOU ARE OK RIGHT NOW.

Isn’t that beautiful? You might WISH you were somewhere else, and you might not FEEL 100% ok, but if you really think about it, you have everything you need at this moment, even if it is just enough to survive this moment. And tomorrow you will have everything you need too. You have made it to now, and you have been tough and resilient through all of it. You will continue to make it, and you will continue to have what you need to make it.

Faith is believing in things that we can not see yet, but yet we KNOW in our hearts exist. Keep the faith, beautiful friend, even if it’s just a tiny little smidgen of faith. Don’t let anything take it away from you.

Because let’s face it — you made it through yesterday, you are making it through today, and you will undoubtedly make it through tomorrow. You will.

Try to smile your way through it. It will make all the difference in the world. :)

You are loved beyond measure.
xoxo