Dear Ready Girl,
Whatever ‘that thing’ is, today is a great day to start.
Start today…and keep your eyes on today. That’s all.
You can do it. You are a brave girl.
You are so very loved.
Dear Ready Girl,
Whatever ‘that thing’ is, today is a great day to start.
Start today…and keep your eyes on today. That’s all.
You can do it. You are a brave girl.
You are so very loved.
There comes a day when our soul has just had enough of the squeezing and coloring and carving and polishing we keep trying to do to change it (or hide it!)….and our soul just wants to be authentic and raw and whole and FREE. Our soul wants us to hold hands with it and BE WHO WE ARE. Our soul just wants to be the light that it is…without having to wear a mask or a cape or a shiny veneer of anything at all. It just wants to shine.
Sometimes we feel a bit like a freak when we stop trying to fit in…..don’t let that stop you, dear soul. The more layers we peel off….the brighter we can shine…that stuff is just covering up our light….and the world needs more light. The world needs YOU. YOU need YOU.
You are amazing and unique and wonderful….keep peeling off anything that is covering up all of the you-ness of you.
It will be worth it…
You are so very very very loved.
Dear Journeying Soul,
Life is good.
Life is crazy. Life is fun. Life is wild. Life is colorful. Life is unpredictable. Life is a gift. Life is a test.
Life is about one million other things too, isn’t it?
Now, with all of that being said, dear girl, why would we ever think that we could have it all figured out, that we SHOULD have it all figured out, and that every single day would not be filled with brand new challenges that we never expected?
Please don’t beat yourself up EVER about not having it all figured out, about not knowing what is going to happen next, about not knowing exactly which road to take every time there is a choice to take a new road.
It’s all about the journey, the adventure, the lessons, the relationships, the surprises, the discoveries, the giving, and all of those things can happen every single day without knowing exactly how they are going to happen.
Life is meant to be enjoyed. Please choose to enjoy it.
You are SO very loved.
Dear Valuable Girl,
We all crave kindness from the center of our souls. There is something healing, beautiful and necessary about kindness, isn’t there?
What if the kindest thing you could ever do for YOURSELF is to simply LET YOURSELF be happy, to LET YOURSELF enjoy your life, to LET YOURSELF be who you are, to LET YOURSELF BE.
Instead of beating yourself up over every decision, every flaw, every mistake, every little tiny picked-apart lack of perfection…
…what if you just LET YOURSELF BE OK?
This is something that no one else can do for you, sweet friend. LET YOURSELF BE. Give yourself a break. Give yourself some grace. Give yourself some kindness.
Look yourself in the eyes and simply say, I am giving you permission to BE — and not just to BE but to BE AWESOME, TO BE HAPPY, TO BE EXACTLY WHO YOU ARE.
You are so kind to others. Turn it around and give some of your beautiful love to your own soul. You need it, friend. You are worth it. And you are meant to have it.
You are so very loved.
Dear Beautiful Girl,
It is important to remember that no one has the right or the power to take away your choices, your thoughts or the essence of who you are.
Lots of things in life can be taken from us, but most of the things that are most valuable cannot. The things that matter most cannot be seen, and really CAN be protected fiercely by our own selves so that they are not violated or crushed in any way. No person and no situation can make us feel bad or small or stuck unless we allow it to. It is our choice.
Be careful with your dreams, be kind to them. Protect your choices and your ability to make them. Make good choices so that you are not chained by the consequences of poor ones. Watch your thoughts and make sure that what you want most is what you are thinking most. Stand up for what you believe in and don’t settle for anything else.
We can decide what kind of life we want to have, and we are the ONLY ones who can decide. We can’t wait around for things to happen, we must take action to make them happen. No more excuses, baby…….let’s do this.
You are phenomenal, courageous and wonderful.
You are loved.
Happy International Women’s Day!
Today I am going to work hard to create as much unity as possible…..in every way. I know the power that women have to unify our human family. I know the power that men have to do the same.
So the way I will celebrate and honor my sisters today is to work side by side with my husband as we train teachers to share Soul Restoration with both women and men….a process that reminds us that we are all souls….made of the same stuff….we are equal in our magnificence….I have seen the power thousands of times of a soul who knows who she is….so today, I know the best thing I can do is to just work even harder at sharing the message that LOVE will always be the power that overcomes everything that ails our world and our human family. I will rededicate myself to reminding anyone within my distance that TRUTH feels like love…feels like possibilities….feels like inclusion and forgiveness and a deep and abiding care and concern for every other human being we share the planet with. That grace means doing things for others that they cannot yet do for themselves….and giving them the power to be able to do it for themselves.
I am so very proud today of all of the women who keep fighting the good fight, who keep showing up to life understanding the power that we each have as individuals to help each other, to help ourselves and to take responsibility for making the world we share a safe, happy and peaceful place for every single one of us. I also want to thank all of the men who do the same.
I love you all, fellow souls!!! We are doing wonderful things together, and every day we can figure out even more things to do together. We are all in this together, and we have so much more power than we realize.
Have a beautiful day, all.
Dear Beloved Girl,
Our thoughts hold SO MUCH POWER…
No matter how much another person may tell us wonderful things about ourselves, it will never make a difference if we do not allow ourselves to receive it and believe it. Everything starts with our own thoughts.
When we allow ourselves to think that we are less than others, or that we are insignificant or unimportant….that is how we behave in all areas of our life. We then begin to accept behavior from others that is consistent with those beliefs…our whole life is shaped around those thoughts.
When we behave as if we are beloved (because we are)…our whole life is shaped around THAT belief. We only accept behavior that is consistent with being beloved. We dream dreams that are consistent with being beloved…and most importantly….we treat ourselves as if we are beloved.
YOU are beloved. We all are. Please believe it and please shape your life around that truth, dear friend. Life will meet you at that place of truth….and everything will change from there.
You are SO very loved.
Dear Miraculous Girl,
We all have a beautiful, amazing and happy life that is meant for us, but we must do our part each day. We just have to.
When everything seems to go sideways and we feel like we have nothing left to cling to, it is our responsibility and it’s in our power to cling to HOPE.
Hope grows when we focus on it…it’s our responsibility to look for the things that will bring even tiny glimmers of hope. Hope turns into faith, which turns into miracles.
It all begins with hope.
When you’re at a point where all you can do is HOPE, rest in the knowledge that hope is enough. Hope is the little seed that will help you find faith again, that will help you work toward all that is in your heart. Hope is more important than we can ever imagine, and we must do all that we can to hold on to it…protect it, take care of it, believe it.
What is hope, exactly? The dictionary says that hope is the feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best.
Keep your beautiful mind focused on hope…your heart is already there. Just keep hoping, then keep the faith, then expect miracles, and be willing to take those miracles in whatever form they come in…even when you were expecting something different.
Brave girls learn to live in hope, and they spread hope to others.
You are ohhhh so loved.
Dear Doing-Your-Best Soul,
Somewhere along the way we get taught that mistakes are bad. So, then we do EVERYTHING we can to never make mistakes. That is really hard. So sometimes we just don’t do anything because we are scared of making a mistake. Then we get the courage to try. But then…no matter how much we plan, no matter how careful we are, no matter how experienced we are…we make mistakes. Sometimes we make mistakes in spite of how much we’ve tried not to…and sometimes we make mistakes because we are tired and so we miss some things. Sometimes we even make mistakes because we are just flat out careless. We all do this.
The fact is, friend…we ALL make mistakes.
What if we just came to terms with this. What if we just said to ourselves “I am going to make some mistakes”? What if? That doesn’t mean we plan to make mistakes, it just means that we plan for what we will do when we DO make mistakes. Some of the things we could do are:
1. We could learn from our mistakes
2. We could make a different plan for next time
3. We could forgive ourselves and others, knowing that mistakes are part of the human experience
4. We could congratulate ourselves and others for trying brave new things…because we often make mistakes when we are trying something new
Doesn’t that feel better? Mistakes are just part of the deal, dear soul…they just are.
No shame, no blame. Do a little better every day. When we know better, we do better. And we can never make so many mistakes that we are no longer valuable or loved. It doesn’t work that way. The consequences of the mistakes are the parts that get us back on track. We don’t need to add shame and blame on top of the already difficult consequences. Being a human being is hard…love and forgiveness make it easier.
You are so very loved. (and that won’t change no matter how many mistakes you make)
Dear Frustrated Soul,
There is an awful lot that we just don’t see…and often our default reaction is to assume. This hurts all of us, doesn’t it? We are really good at deciding “what it must mean” and we are very good at filling in the blanks and putting words into other’s mouths, deciding what they must think and what they must feel.
In this human experience, we like to make sense of things….we like to know exactly what things are and what they will do…we like to decide how it’s going to turn out.
Isn’t this silly that we do this? People aren’t things. How could we ever know what someone else is really doing or thinking or planning? How could we ever know for sure what it means when someone is looking at us a certain way, or someone didn’t show up, or someone did or said something that we weren’t expecting.
Let’s all think about what this might feel like if someone did this to us, friend. Or what it feels like when others DO do this to us.
There is a better way. We can give each other grace. We can ask more questions rather than assuming or believing what we heard from someone else, or what we decided in our own head. We can think the best of each other and remember that everyone is trying to figure out life, just like we are.
You are a good person with a beautiful heart. You can make such a difference. One of the best ways is to decide not to assume anything about anyone….and to always get more information before we make a decision about someone…and especially to give each other grace.
You are so very loved.
Dear Beloved Soul,
Love is brave. To LOVE and to let others love us is one of the bravest acts we can do each day.
Love is also the salve to all wounds, the remedy to all heartache and the gift that keeps giving.
To love will heal us, beautiful friend. To allow the hope of love, to allow others to love us….yes, this will heal us too.
Today let yourself LOVE….and especially let yourself give loved and be loved.
You are so brave. Love is brave.
I took a few days off last week just to cry. I knew I needed to. I felt like I was going crazy.
What is the truth. What is the truth. What is the truth. WHAT IS THE TRUTH?
I might sound really angry for the first part of this piece…I hope you’ll stay with me, because I am going somewhere. Two days of crying helped me make sense of some things. I really did think I might go mad.
How could they have been lying to me for all of this time? How could they go around spreading information that is not true…don’t they understand that they are ruining people’s lives?
How could he have told us that, when it was so far from the truth? How does she live with herself when she is spreading lies? Why couldn’t they just have told the truth? Why do they go around deceiving people for their own personal gain? I believed them! I BELIEVED WHAT THEY SAID!!!!!!! I BELIEVED THEM! I made decisions based on what they told me! THEY LIED!
1. I remember the first time someone from church lied to me. I remember the first time I knew that someone at church was lying from the pulpit.
2. I remember when they told me that Marq’s brain injury recovery would plateau at 2 years. They said he would not get any better beyond that. He was literally crazy at 2 years.
3. I remember the first time that they told my dad he was going to die soon because he needed a liver transplant, and he would die waiting. And it would be a long and painful death. Specialists. They said he was about number 45,000 on the waiting list, and there was no other way. They said he should just prepare to die.
4. I remember when they said that Ebola was going to kill us in record numbers
5. I remember when the last night of human civilization was supposed to be December 31, 2011….or was it December 31, 1999?
6. I remember when they told me that it was a safe investment
7. I remember when I found out my parents weren’t perfect…and maybe even “lied” to me
8. I remember when they said that if you were a good girl, and you did all of the right things…you would live happily ever after
9. I remember wanting to find that ONE place where everyone told the truth (was it church? was it a retreat? was it a club?)
10. I remember so many times when someone thought or was even sure, that I was lying to them…or that I had lied to them…or that I was living a lie
Before I go on, I want to tell you my intention in writing this piece. I want to help you stop suffering the way I have suffered so many times. Like last week. I suffered because I have always thought there was ONE TRUTH in all things…and when I found out what it was (or thought I did) I took it so personally that others have chosen to tell me, show me, lead me in other directions. I suffered because I was a bit of a fool. I was naive. Ok…I am still a bit of a fool, I am still naive in many ways…I still take things personally until I remember what I know. I also suffered because I constantly punished myself for not living by or knowing that one truth. (I am not talking about religion, by the way…I am talking about life)
Here’s the thing I have learned…in one sentence. MOST PEOPLE are telling the truth. It’s just that it is THEIR truth. Most people are not intentionally trying to deceive. Most people are saying what they believe to be true. Most people are living by what they believe to be true. Most people are believing to be true what they believe is true. And most people also believe that there is one truth…so everyone else who is not living by that truth, is not living the truth. What a complicated mess with so much potential for suffering, miscommunication, disconnection, depression, confusion….and flat out GOING MAD. And hate.
So I am going to go back to the list of 10 things up there….and tell you what I’ve learned since I was in a place of wallowing over those things (at all different times in my life)
2. Doctors, scientists and geniuses do not always tell the whole truth. They do almost always tell what they believe to be true. We can never take this as the whole truth. This is a very lazy way to live. Right? It really is! We have access to so much information, and lots of it is false. Again, we MUST learn discernment and we must get to work gathering all of the information that we can on own when something is important. Like someone’s life. I am stubborn about suffering…meaning, when someone tells me that a life of suffering is just where it ends…you will always hear me swear if you listen close enough. I don’t swear very often…but if you tell me that someone is going to plateau and live a life of suffering….you will hear me say BULLSH*#) (sorry everyone) I only use words when they are the only word that will work for what I mean. When they told me that my husband would end his recovery at 2 years….that’s what I said. When they told me my dad would die waiting for a transplant…that’s what I said…and then I got to work. But first I was mad BECAUSE THEY LIED TO ME!!! They didn’t tell me there were a million things we could do to help. Guess what? They didn’t lie to me…they told me what they believed to be true. It was my job to feel that it wasn’t true. SO……12 years later, my husband has had a complete recovery from a very horrible condition. For him, it wasn’t true. For some, it is true. But we did the work of finding out if it was true or not. I urge you to ALWAYS find out for sure if a medical diagnosis is true….all that “they” are doing is telling you what they believe to be true….but it is not always the truth.
3. My dad lived 15 more years. The “specialists” didn’t know about a new surgery….”live” liver transplants. After I said my swear word, I dug into the internet…back when it was hard to find stuff on the internet. I was desperate to find out that they weren’t telling the truth. I was mad. I found an article about a pig that got half of another pig’s liver….and they both survived and grew back full sized livers….that led me to and article about a baby that did the same…then I thought…surely they can do this for adults!!! After a few days of nonstop researchng, I finally found a doctor from India who had moved to UCLA Medical Center and was doing these transplants successfully. So…what did I do? I picked up the phone, called and got his voicemail, I left a passionate, weeping message about my dad. He called me back within the hour!!! My dad and brother were in California within a few months…my brother had half of his liver removed and gave it to my dad. That one liver grew to 2 full sized livers. My dad lived 15 more years until the Hep C killed that liver. He died 2 years ago….right after they found a new medicine to kill Hep C. They said he was going to get better from that medicine…but it was too late. SO….of course I was mad that they lied. I suffered because of that. But…they didn’t lie…they said exactly what they believed to be true. The specialists 17 years ago who said my dad would die didn’t even know about live liver transplants. Did they lie? Nope, they told the truth. But it wasn’t the truth. See? And I said a swear word and got to work….because I believed there had to be a different truth, and there was. Is it okay for me to be angry at those who “lied”? Nope….because they told the truth….their truth.
4. Well, you know how this one ended.
5. And this one. (and in both cases lots of people suffered because of what they believed was the truth)
6. I can never know whether they told the truth. I am choosing to believe that they told me what they thought was true. I will suffer if I choose to believe that every person who helps others invest money and then loses it is telling a lie. I believe they are telling their truth. It is my job to discern whether this is true for me our not…and then take responsibility for MY decision. It is lazy to let someone else do this for me.
7. My parents ALWAYS told me the truth….on big things, I know this now. It’s just that they told me what they believed to be true…….and I didn’t know that some of those things would have to be sorted and sifted later in life…and that I would have to do the big work of figuring out if it was true or not for me. I know they have done the same thing. They have had to sift out their own truth. Sometimes our truth changes….we are telling the truth and then find out it’s not necessarily true…and then we have to find out the truth again, and so then we tell a new truth. Once we are adults…it’s our job to do the work of discernment to know if something is true or not. We have to stop punishing our parents and teachers for “lying” to us….because in most cases….they were just telling us what they really believed to be true. We all have some broken beliefs…but that does not mean we are lying….just means we are still traveling to finding the wholeness of truth. It sucks when you find out your parents are not perfect. It is disconcerting, confusing and discombobulating. It’s also hard when your kids find out that you are not perfect.(and you figure out that you are not perfect) But all of this is a part of life. Once we come to terms with it….there is so much peace, forgiveness and grace.
8. Listen….this is a hard one. My current truth is that bad things happen to “good” people and awesome things happen to “bad” people and we just have stop thinking that this=this because life is dynamic and though there are things like gravity that pretty much always end up the same way…most other things in life are a wild ride and a wild card that can turn out pretty much any way….no matter what you do. Also…I think we have to stop sorting people into “good” and “bad”. We do get to decide some things internally, in our minds and hearts….but on the outside…there are just too many intricacies…too many factors….too many other people making decisions that affect us…too many things that are currently unquantifiable and unseen. I think we suffer when we think that there is going to be a certain outcome if we do a certain thing…and that everything just feels like a big lie if that doesn’t happen.
9. I have searched the world over for the people who always tell the truth. I have found it…it is all around me. It is all around YOU too. Pretty much EVERYONE is telling the truth….it’s just that they are saying what they believe to be true. And maybe…with what you know to be true though your life experience and though your searching….it is not true to you at all. That feels disappointing, because we could easily perceive that as lying. As not being truthful. But I would challenge you to just consider that the person who seems to be so “out there” and even the person who seems to be a big fat liar….they may be living their truth 100%. Again…. YOU HAVE TO LISTEN WITH YOUR HEART TO KNOW IF IT IS TRUE. THIS IS WORK. And….to live in a peaceful world, I believe we have to understand and accept that most others around us really are telling the truth…and that’s why it’s so hard to convince people that our way is the right way or the best way. That’s why it’s so hard when we think they are being disingenuous, or that they are flat out lying….and we just want them to tell the truth….the thing is…they are, they are telling THEIR TRUTH.
10. So…..with all of that being said…..I try to ALWAYS tell the truth. But to others, it may seem like I am flat out lying. The truth is so important to me. That’s why sometimes I feel like I am going mad. I feel crazy when I believed something was true all of my life…and I find out it’s not….or maybe it’s not. I grieve when I think of all of the decisions I’ve made around what I thought was true…and how I could have made such better decisions. And I KNOW that I have been the one who has done this to other people. I have seemed like a liar, when I am actually telling the truth 100%….my truth. And I have thought others were liars, deceivers, fools, idiots, selfish jerks……when they truly believed they were doing the right thing and telling and living by the truth 100%…and they were…it’s just that it was their truth.
Okay….so you can see why I needed to cry for a few days. This is a lot to think about. Because I have people close to me who all have very different truths…some days I feel so confused…but mostly sad because there is a lot of yelling but not a lot of listening. Or there is too much listening to the crazy media machine that runs on the fuel of sensational drama…and we think that is the source of truth. There are pieces of truth there…but there is a lot added in…and there is also a LACK of truth. We have to do the work of completing the truth in our own hearts…and THIS IS WORK. We have to be kind to each other as we do this, knowing that everyone is on a path of finding their truth. And if there is ONE TRUTH…..everyone really is on their way to finding it…..dropped in all different locations with a different backpack full of supplies….we are all travelers trying to figure it out.
SO….when you feel like you’ve been lied to…the best thing to do is go in search of the truth for yourself. Yours might be found at church, yours might be found in the wilderness. YOU are to live by YOUR TRUTH…and you will suffer so much if you think that others are not living by the truth just because it is not YOUR TRUTH. We will ALL suffer. Can we give each other the grace of believing that we are all telling the truth that we know right now? We are all doing our best? RIght now, with what everyone knows and what they have lived through…they are living by the truth that they know. What I know to be true is that my job is to LOVE everyone and to constantly be seeking for what is true for me. THAT IS MY WORK. AND IT IS HARD WORK. AND IT IS YOUR WORK. AND IT IS HARD WORK. To do that with my Truthteller…for me that is God. For you, it might be someone or something else.
I love you and I know you are telling the truth. I want you to love me and know that I am telling the truth. Sometimes we might have pieces the other is looking for…but we will never have the opportunities to find them if we keep staying separated because our truth is truer than another’s truth.
I would love to sit with you ANY time and hear your truth….no matter how different it is from my truth. I hope I have the opportunity to tell you my truth. We might just have the puzzle pieces the other is looking for.
In part 2…I’m gonna tell you some techniques I’ve learned for how to do this….how to sit with others who have a different truth than you do. Or how to sit with others that you think are lying to you….or to themselves…and turn it around to UNDERSTANDING them…and understanding yourself better.
And…how to learn what the truth feels like…what light feels like….what understanding feels like…so that we can all seek out anything and everything that feels like that…and know for ourselves what the truth is.
I will love you forever, fellow soul. I will believe you when you tell me what you believe is true. I hope you will believe me when I tell you what I believe is true. You don’t have to believe what I believe, but I hope you will believe me that I believe it. I will do that for you too.
It is hard to be a human being. Love makes it easier. It really does.
Yours on this wild ride,