What everyone is asking….just exactly WHAT is in this gorgeous box?? (the Soul School Welcome Box)

WOW WOW WOW!!! Well, beautiful friends, the “soft launch” of Soul School has been so wildly successful this week that we are just over the moon happy around here….and now our #1 job is to make all of you over the moon happy with Soul School (and we KNOW you will be!!!)  If you haven’t signed up yet…just know that we will always always save a spot for you…and make sure you check it out because we know that as soon as you do, you won’t want to miss any of it! YOU CAN LEARN ALL ABOUT SUBSCRIPTION SOUL SCHOOL HERE

welcome kit in box-670 We wanted to clear up the fact that even though we surpassed 1000 paid subscribers in the first few days of the launch, that EVERYONE who EVER signs up will get this gorgeous welcome box full of gifts to get you going. While it is true that the first 1000 of you will receive a FOUNDING MEMBER card to commemorate the beginning of this awesome adventure (thank you so much for jumping right on this fun wagon with us!)……The FOUNDING MEMBER cards are gone now….but we wanted to make sure you know that ANYONE who signs up for any of the 3 levels of paid subscription (the levels start as low as $10 a month!)  gets a beautiful WELCOME BOX with a BGC membership card, so that you are a card carryin’ member of Brave Girls Club……

This Box is so full of wonderful stuff and we wanted to show you exactly what comes in it……blog welcome box

This is your beautiful membership card…..blog brave girls club membership card copy

When you sign up at the Premium level, you will also receive 2 copies of the book “You are Going to be Okay” …why 2 copies?? Because we want you to keep one for yourself and we know you are going to want to give it away after you read it, because everyone knows someone who really needs this book…so, we gotcha covered…. blog you are going to be okay books

The books are  the only things that are not included in the Basic and Deluxe subscription welcome box…let’s see what else is in ALL the welcome boxes….You will also get a pretty little brave girl badge to put on a fun tote bag or on a scarf or just about anywhere!! blog brave girl badge

You will get a whole deck of beautiful Truth Cards…again, you will get 2 copies of each card so that you can keep one, and give one away!!blog brave girl truth cards 2 blog brave girl truth cards 1 blog brave girl truth cards 3 blog brave girl truth cards 4 blog brave girl truth cards 5

blog brave girl truth cards 6And by popular demand, we have created Brave Girl Passalong Cards…cards to hand out to others to tell them all about Brave Girls Club…..so many of you have asked for ways to share BGC with your friends and family….well, now you are equipped…the fronts of the cards have a lovely fun design, and the backs of the cards tell all about BGC and invite others to join us!…you will get a whole deck of these fantastic little cards!

blog brave girl passalong cards 1 blog brave girl passalong cards 2 blog brave girl passalong cards 3 blog brave girl passalong cards 4

blog brave girl passalong cards 5

blog back of passalong cardsAnd…..EVERYONE LOVES THESE PATCHES! A beautiful embroidered Brave Girl Patch is all yours…put it on a hat, on a bag, on your jeans, on a pillow….anywhere that you want to proclaim that you are a Brave Girl!

blog brave girl patch


We love to love you…we love to shower you with goodness and beauty and truth……..we hope you will join us at Soul School so that we can send you one of these wonderful boxes!! If you sign up for Premium level….you will get not only this box full of goodies…but another whole box of pretty tools and treasures to go with each month’s lesson, beginning with the current month!! You can learn all about it by clicking the picture below!! Or just click RIGHT HERE

how does it workWe just want to THANK YOU for your amazing support and sisterhood as we have launched this enormous project. We’ve been working on it for years, and it launched this week with a few little glitches that you have all been so patient about. And because this is our “soft launch”  (we will be doing a big campaign and launch in September) we are SOOO OVERJOYED that thousands of you are joining us already!! We can say with every bit of confidence, soul and enthusiasm that we are going to WOW you every single month…and this will be some of the best money you have ever spent…we love you all and we are so happy to spend our careers giving you soul-filled life-changing content and ideas….day after day, year after year. It’s the best job in the world!!! Thank you for joining us!!!


-melody, kathy and the awesome BGC team

-melody with soul school box



IT IS FINALLY TIME!!! 2 YEARS IN THE MAKING!!! ANNOUNCING….our brand new BRAVE GIRL SOUL SCHOOL (and our monthly subscription plan!)

soul school vector logo-670


Okay brave girls….we are finally ready to do a “soft launch” of the most wonderful, amazing and beautiful thing that has ever happened in Brave Girls Club history…..do you know why it is so amazing? Because it is going to make sure that everyone, everywhere gets to be a part of the life-changing fun courses and beautiful tools that Brave Girls Club is so famous for….


-melody with soul school box

THIS post is just to give you a little glimpse into all of it…..and to ask you to click the links to find out more….because there is oooohhhh so much more. But…here are the basics for all of you beautiful souls out there…..

We will be offering this all as a monthly subscription, or you can purchase our courses a la carte (like always) AND there is a whole lot of stuff that is free too……no brave girl will be left behind…there is something for everyone. Something we have NEVER done before….is have our curriculum printed out and ready to ship to you.

EVERY MONTH we will be creating brand new courses…by theme…the theme for JULY is SHE DID IT ANYWAY…..and so, the BRAVE BOX of beautiful things to create with is all themed with SHE DID IT ANYWAY themes….and it comes in the prettiest box ever…….but you’ll have to click to learn more about all of this…

how does it work


Click HERE to learn all about it (but read the rest first!!!)

and then if you want to subscribe RIGHT NOW….


There is SO MUCH in the boxes…but that is not all….there are over 20 videos that  you will also have access to, videos that bring you through beautiful soul work…through art journaling, making art projects and regular journaling. These videos will blow you away……and the stuff that gets mailed to you, should you choose that option….well, it will blow you away too. You can also choose an option to download the curriculum and print it yourself, and you will still have access to all of the videos. We even have a very very economical option where you have access to a monthly journaling club…..

main kit open 2 open main kit july 2014

Okay…if you know how we do things around here…you know that we LOVE to LOVE YOU!!!! So….everyone who signs up for Subscription Soul School will get this beautiful, gorgeous, AMAZING box of gifts mailed to you……..this is in ADDITION to the BRAVE BOX, if you choose to sign up for that. ANY level of signing up for Subscription Soul School will get this box of goodies mailed to you….there is SO MUCH beautiful stuff in here!!!

welcome box with gift bows-670

welcome kit in box-670

AND…the first 1000 signed up members of Subscription Soul School will receive a FOUNDING MEMBER metallic card….as well as a keychain…..to show that you are a card carryin’ member of Brave Girls Club and of Subscription Soul School….but there are only 1000 Founders cards!!!  (UPDATE, 7-11-14…we have reached 1000 subscribers! Thank you to everyone who has joined us already! If you are joining us from this point forward, you will still receive a beautiful standard membership card and the Welcome Box. )

founding member card


OKAY!!!! This is SUCH AN AMAZING thing!!! Just so you know…all subscription members also have lifetime access to ANY classes that have been purchased EVER…and inside of Brave Girl Soul School there are ALL SORTS of amazing videos and classes that you will have access to…plus brand new content every single month….this is SOOOOO AWESOME!!!!

Sooooo….go check it out!!!!! We will be blogging more about it all week!!! CLICK HERE TO LEARN ALL ABOUT SOUL SCHOOL!!!!!!!

and if you want to subscribe…CLICK HERE TO SEE ALL OF THE OPTIONS!! and..keep checking back…so much more coming soon! CLICK HERE  to subscribe right now!


melody, kathy and the brave girls club team









What have you learned about yourself since becoming a Brave Girl? (a sweet Brave Boots video…)

Hi, Braves!

Melody and I (and the rest of the BG team) are working night and day here at the Clubhouse on a BIG NEW project that we hope you will each LOVE (more about that soon)….and our poor blog has been a bit neglected. We promise that will change, but for today I went in search of the coolest thing I could find on our YouTube channel to share with you…something that you might not have ever seen but that is just hanging out there, hoping that someone will notice it.

I found something you will LOVE watching…because it is from YOU…from Brave Girls all over the world. It’s called ‘Brave Boots’ and here’s how it came about…a couple of years ago we asked all of you to send in photos of your Brave Boots (or shoes or whatever…) along with your answers to this question: What have you learned about yourself since becoming a Brave Girl?

Brave Girls Club - Brave Boots Video

Brock put the photos and answers together into one of the BEST videos we have ever made. I just watched it again and I was reminded of how much I LOVE IT…I love seeing your names and your photos and the things that you so beautifully shared. So whether you’re new here or you’ve been with us forever, this is a fun and moving video. Hope you enjoy it!!

love, kathy




Nice girls showing up angry….you’re invited.

Let’s talk about anger….like…let’s talk really honestly about anger. Especially if you are a “nice girl” who has never known how to handle or express anger. Slow down with me, would ya? I know it’s scary because when we slow down we can hear it and feel it and it has time to catch us up on everything that we’ve been able to avoid while whirling around in our busy tornado.

go where the peace is melody

At the end of this post I’m going to tell you what I have decided to do starting Friday….100 days off of Facebook, etc…..100 days of sitting with myself and listening…(I did this 3 years ago and I need to do it again) ….a summer of making art, writing, communing with the heavenlies and lightening all of the loads I have been choosing to carry…but for now….let’s continue this conversation about anger.

I’ve been asked the question many times…”what do you do when you are angry?” and my answer is always…”well, I don’t really get angry…I don’t do angry”

According to my observations about us humans (mostly myself), there always seems to be this thing that keeps us from slowing down and getting really quiet and being with ourselves and all of our thoughts and even asking for more truth to be whispered in our ears. There seems to always be this thing that keeps us running so that we don’t have to sit down with it. Mine is anger. I am sitting with it right now. I am listening to it. Some days it cracks me up with it’s awesome energy and passionate dramatic retelling of my life’s stories and sometimes it scares me because it is so hellbent on hanging on to things that I want to let go of. Usually I just ignore it because of it’s drama, like, my whole life I have been. Lately I have been inviting it in for a nice long talk…even making it dinner…

The honesty of the anger is what scares me the most. This anger is so honest and it knows every b.s. story that I could ever make up about how “oh, it’s ok…..” or how I defend the things that I am angry about with “oh, it’s alright…I am ok….that is just how it is….”  “it’s ok…I am used to it…I am ok” This anger is old and wise and it knows all of the stories and it shows up with complete honesty and will only accept complete honesty in return. This anger is not messing around. This anger is from loss…from unfairness….it is anger at myself, anger at things I had and have no control over, anger at others who are jerks and mess with my life, anger at crap that just keeps showing up….anger at the heavy weight that I feel like I have been carrying around for so long and I am just so dang sick of carrying it around. I’m sick of things being difficult…I have lots of anger about that. By the way…I have been praying deeply for healing from my hives, my anxiety, etc……and sometimes you gotta be careful what you pray for. Geez I so totally want to delete this whole post right now…which helps me to see that I need to keep writing.

By the way..today my friend Serena sent me this photo that she took of me last October when we were sitting in our friend’s hotel room listening to her sing to us…and it helped me so much to see the way my friends and family see me. It helps me to not let the anger swallow me up whole.  It is amazing how things show up exactly when you need them. (even this anger is showing up now, when I guess I am ready to finally deal with it)  I am holding on to this photo as I hold hands with my anger. This picture is me feeling safe and loved and held……my natural state of being….

melody at serendipity by serena

So…you know, I wrote that whole post a few weeks back on showing up and it’s been kicking my bootie, friends. Every day I remember that I SHOW UP, I KEEP SHOWING UP…and others remind me too. BUT SEE, I have to decide what I show up to because you simply can not show up to everything. I have to show up where I have to show up today and today I have to show up to this anger that has been trying to get an appointment with me for years. THE ANGER IS SHOWING UP NOW FOR SOME REASON. Every year it gets angrier because I keep changing the appointment or not showing up or giving it only 5 minutes of my time before running to the next thing. This anger has been sitting in the waiting room with a little dixie cup of water and a stale cookie for a few years now that I gave it to buy some time. The anger even has anger now.

See, I’ve been asked the question many times…”what do you do when you are angry?” and my answer is always…”well, I don’t really get angry…I don’t do angry”

A few years ago, an acupuncturist told me that I am full of anger. He told me the pain in my shoulders would go away when I dealt with my anger. I told him that I wasn’t really born with the thing that people have that makes them feel anger…I just don’t have it.

I thought this was true.

I have anger that is old and scraped all over my insides like lath and plaster in an old house. Somewhere along the way….I learned that anger is not okay and it was such an awesome thing to try to believe that I learned all sorts of ways to cover up anything that resembled anger. I worked more, I ate more, I focused on others more, I smiled more, I compensated……I covered it covered it covered it covered it covered it.

Anger is good. It is part of the human experience. It is built into us an alarm…and indicator…as fuel. It is a protector!!! We need it! It’s a message for us……..to tell us that something is not quite right…sometimes the thing that is not quite right is us….sometimes it is the situation or the relationship. But anger is a thing that tells us that something is not quite right somewhere and it’s time to slow down and take that appointment to hear it out. Anger is so good..IF WE SLOW DOWN AND LISTEN TO IT AND NOT STUFF IT IN A DARK CLOSET WITH TAPE ON IT’S MOUTH.

Early this morning I googled…”how to deal with anger” only…what came up was how to deal with excessive anger when you are an aggressive human being. What I need help with is how to deal with old, stuffed away anger when I am not an aggressive person who yells or swears or hits things or throws things….it’s just not me. (well, it wasn’t until earlier today)

Today I lost it wholly and completely. I don’t know why it has taken 42 years but I am so ready to stop carrying around stuff that is not useful or helpful. Today the tape came off of the mouth and my angry self was let out of the closet and my oh my did she ever have some things to say.

First at home with my dear husband. He just said….let it out, baby. Then I left in my car and I pulled by the side of road and turned up 80’s heavy rock as loud as it would go and I yelled and I cried and I talked to my friend and said words that I usually never allow myself to say. She nearly gave me a standing ovation. I went to my office and did the same thing with my team witnessing….they clapped too. Seems like everyone who loves me most has waited eons for this to happen.

Maybe this conversation seems to be coming from out of nowhere. It actually started last week at camp when one of our dear sisters told me that she can’t talk to God anymore because she is so angry and she doesn’t want to show up angry. I said…”are you kidding? you think God can’t take your anger? You think God doesn’t already know how angry you are?”  She said…. “what if I am angry at God?” I said…..show up truthful. He already knows the truth. Show up and tell him how angry you are and why…..watch what happens.

I told her I love the stories of Job in the Bible when Job is just so dang angry and sad and mad and discouraged and confused and pretty much telling God that He made a big mistake.

I know I never talk about churchy preachy things but my friends………I do pray and I want you to know that none of us have to hide our anger from our own Creator. God loves us and wants us to show up 100% truthful.

My anger is a step that I have to deal with right now. It is hilarious actually. It’s like I am learning a whole new dance…new steps. I am learning how to yell and today I even went to a shooting range and shot at targets. I am learning to express things that are built up in my body and in my brain and in my soul. Because did you know that anger is one of the UNAVOIDABLE, IMPOSSIBLE TO SKIP parts of grief and grieving? When you lose things that are important to you…………you gotta go through the angry part….you know, that part where that I stuffed in the closet with tape on her mouth?

Well…….I just want to invite you to show up angry to your prayers…to your life. You do not have to put that anger out to anyone…no one has to be the recipient……….ask your beloveds if they will witness the release of your anger as a personal favor….usually they are so relieved that you are finally doing it that they will celebrate.

On Friday or Saturday I will be announcing my plans for PROJECT LIGHTER AND LIGHTER. I am going to do 100 days of letting go and getting lighter. You can join me if you would like…………….it’s a brave thing that I have to do. My hives showed up again last week with a vengeance and I know this is a warning that I must STOP and listen….listen to the anger, listen to the sorrow…listen to the ideas….listen to my Guide, in prayer, tell me what the next half of my life could hold if I decide to make some wonderful changes………..needed changes…..brave changes. I will be making art and drinking green drinks and listening to Johnny Cash and Nat King Cole and Mamuse and other soulful voices….and the birds and the trees and the water. My phone will be off and my computer will be off and I will be quiet and my anger gets to talk and when she is done……the good stuff gets to talk. I know the anger won’t last long. She will be fair. She has a lot to be angry about…I get it. I will just hug her harder and let her cry harder too til she is done.

do more of what makes you happy

We are building a brand new website and a big new surprise is coming for Brave Girls of the world that I need to shut down and prepare for…….wait til you see what we have been working on for over 2 years that is almost done!!!!!. I’m just gonna go inside for a bit and get things ready for this party……..and I am inviting my anger to come along and be heard……I will listen to her, I will take her seriously, I will hug her tight and I will invite her to come along on the second half of my life. I’m not afraid of her anymore….we are holding hands.

So, my beautiful friends….please don’t hide…..show up angry if you must…it is okay. Just don’t hide out because of the anger…..show up…and keep showing up. The anger just wants to be heard…and never really goes away until you listen to it and love it better. It’s really not every okay though, in my opinion….to slice and dice others with our anger…..just let it go in ways that don’t hurt anyone else. Just listen to it…and find ways to let it go.

I love you. I love you so so so much.

Thanks for listening.



p.s. if you have ideas for great ways to deal with pent up anger……….I’m all ears in the comments! :)

Esther’s Story….

The following is THE FOURTH IN A SERIES OF INTERVIEWS called “FULL CIRCLE SISTERHOOD” in a partnership with FULL CIRCLE EXCHANGE and BRAVE GIRLS CLUB as part of an initiative to help marginalized women around the world and right here in the USA….READ MORE HERE about the launch of this initiative.



Meet Esther…devoted wife, mother of six children, born and raised in Congo. As a brave young wife of 20, and with a tiny baby in her arms, she and her husband were forced to flee their home because they feared for their lives as war tore their country apart. Along with hundreds of other villagers, they literally hid out in the jungle for two years  until they heard that Tanzania was accepting refugees. They boarded a boat in the dark of night and in silence slipped across the large lake that separated them from Tanzania where they were settled into a safe but meager refugee camp.

Little did she know that she and her family would be imprisoned in that refugee camp for the next 17 years….

How did our lives cross paths with Esther’s? After 17  long years, Esther and her husband and six children were told they would have the opportunity to leave the refugee camp and resettle in another part of the world. They bravely packed their belongings, and before they knew it they found themselves transported across the world to Idaho in the U.S. as part of a robust refugee resettlement program…..(Their travels brought them to a new home just a short drive from my own home….that kind of blows my mind.)

Happily, after living here for several month, Esther was employed by Full Circle Exchange to assemble the Mother’s Day products that Melody designed for Full Circle. (Learn more about that HERE)  Recently Melody was able to sit down with Esther and a Congolese interpreter to interview her and learn about her incredibly brave story.  We would love to share part of that story with you….


Melody: You were born and raised in Congo, but then you were forced to leave because of the dangers of war. Could you talk about what caused the war in Congo?

Esther: It is hard for me to tell what the cause of the war was because I am just a citizen not a politician. But what I saw when the war started was a lot of Rwandese coming into my country and killing a lot of people. I didn’t know why but I knew that a lot of bad people were doing bad things to my family so we left.

Melody: So did you leave out of fear for your safety?
Esther: Yes. They raped some of us. They raped me….

Melody:  So what did you leave behind that you were so sad to not be able to take with you?
Esther: Everything. We just ran with one or two things.

Melody: We don’t know what it is like to live in a refugee camp so tell us a little bit about it. Tell us everything you want to tell us. We want to understand.

Esher: The life of a refugee is full of many problems and suffering. Like when you hear that we are in a refugee camp, we are not anywhere near a city. The camp is way out in the jungle. All the houses were made of tents.

Melody: And who told you to go to Tanzania? How did you know it would be safer?
Esher: When the war began people just ran randomly. Many ran into the forest and just lived in the forest for months and months. After the war didn’t relent, the people in the bushes started moving into Tanzania with boats.

Melody: Did you have to go in the night so people didn’t catch you?
Esher: Yes, in the dark. They crossed in boats at night.

Melody: Did you have to hide during the day?
Esher: Yes, you have to hide and personally my family hid in the bushes in the woods for about 3 months until we started hearing rumors that Tanzania was taking in refugees.

Melody: What did you eat while you were living in the forest?
Esher: There were some nearby farming villages so we would get some food from them.

Melody: How many days would it take to walk from Tanzania from Congo if you didn’t have to stop and hide?
Esher: From Congo to Tanzania there is no walking; there is a big lake. The only way to get across is in a boat.

Melody: And how long does that take?
Esher: It depends on how fast the boat is, but it is hours.

Melody: And did you have children during this time?
Esher: Yes I had one child at that time.

Melody:Were you afraid of your child being loud and getting you caught?
Esher: That is true.

Melody:How did you stay brave during that time? What did you tell yourself so that you didn’t just give up?
Esher: It was not just me and my family. There were hundreds of people, and we were all going together. Many people would fall over and not get up and we would just walk over them. Some people died just right up there but some continued. We had about two days of walking to the forest where we hid for two months before we crossed into Tanzania. So it was just not me. The whole strength was the group going forward.

Melody: So you were safe in Tanzania. I know it was horrible in the camp, but was it safe there?
Esther: In Tanzania we lived there despite the hardship of the refugee camp. But peace-wise it was okay. We had very good protection.

Melody: So what were the really hard parts of living in the refugee camps?
Esther: One of the hard things was just that, as human beings, when moving you want to live an okay place, but that was a forest. So transforming that place into a place to live was one of the hard things.

Melody: So when you got there 17 years ago, did you ever think you would be there for 17 years?
Esther: No, I didn’t.

Melody: How long were you hoping you would be there?
Esther: Well, God makes our plans so we just didn’t even think about it. We were just living. I mean my family was all in there so…we just lived.

Melody: Did you feel trapped?

Esther: Yes we were like prisoners. When you have been living in a place for seventeen years you are wanting to find other ways to survive. You wouldn’t want to be locked in one place, but to get out of it you have to leave and they wouldn’t let us. Tanzania is a very strict country. We were so far from civilization, but the people who worked for the agencies that helped us, most of them were Tanzanians. As refugees in there we were not allowed to go outside the camp without a pass.

Melody: What would they do if they caught you outside?
Esther: You will go to prison.

Melody asked her if there was anyone that she could tell us about who did her a particular kindness while she was in the Tanzania refugee camp. Esther lit up at this question…and told us about being asked to be a teacher.

Esther: Someone came to me and told me that they wanted to do something and asked me what my level of education was. So I told her, and she told me they were trying to build a school and invited me to be part of it. It was like only a year of work, but at least I was using my skills to be useful. I was part of that and it felt good to be helpful. And after a year we were able to create something that was visible. We would put out reports to other agencies and say, “Look! This is what we are doing here to help the young people.” And some of those companies would recognize what we were doing and provide donations and it would help us. And after a couple years the UN recognized the little place as a school that we had opened, and started paying some of us for being teachers.

Melody: Is that school still going?

Esther: Yes! Still today that is a real school, and they help us build buildings now.

Melody: Is the reason that you value that so much is that she recognized you as a person who was strong, Esther, instead of just a refugee?

Esther: Yes.

Melody: I wonder what that is like to sometimes just walk around and think, “I wish people would recognize me as Esther and not just a refugee.” So if you could ever say, “This is who Esther is.”….by just taking that refugee label off,  what would you say?

Esther: I would like them to know is that I am a good person, I am a very strong person, and that I am trustworthy.


Here is Esther holding her favorite Mother’s Day Card that she worked on during the time she was employed as a Full Circle Exchange Artisan.



Melody asked her about her job and what it has meant to her to have a fresh start in a free country….

Esther:  I love to work here. I love to work this job.  I love the people I get to work with, and they are all nice. I love everything.

When asked about the problems that continue in her home country of Congo, Esther shared that she is looking forward with gratitude and hope, and never behind her to what she has left in her past…..

Esther wisely answered….. You have to leave those things behind. They are too heavy to carry. We cannot do that. It is not in our head.



This post is one of many in a series about Full Circle Sisterhood – a collaborative project between Brave Girls Club and Full Circle Exchange with a mission to help at-risk women from around the world rebuild their lives.  (Read an introduction to this partnership here.)

This collaboration is part of the Brave Girls Truth Card project which we introduced at the end of 2012. We are so very happy to see how this project is now coming ‘full ’. Please take a minutcirclee to watch this video to see exactly what we mean, and how YOU can be part of this circle of sisterhood…

Do you want to join the Sisterhood?  Here’s how you can:

SHOP -  Look for our Mother’s Day display at Walmart between April 21st and May 11th.  Purchasing these products opens the door for future contracts ensuring job creation for our new sisters.

LIKE - Full Circle Exchange on Facebook to receive updates and enter giveaways

CREATE Truth Cards by signing up to receive our free truth card kit (along with updates about future projects)…it’s a great way to jump in and be part of the Full Circle of Sisterhood

SPREAD THE WORD by sharing these stories and this mission with your family & friends!

Read Denise’s story here.
Read Eh La Paw’s story here.
Read Hsa’s story here.

Showing up scared, showing up chubby, showing up frazzled… (for the best adventures of life)

Here’s the honest truth….sometimes the most difficult and most important thing that you will ever have to do is to just show up.

If you want to know my deepest, darkest secret….it is that I really don’t want anyone to see me right now. I start most days out not wanting to see anyone. It is hard for me to go places where I know that I will have to see people and talk to them. It is hard for me to be seen or think about being seen. I have become an expert at hiding. I don’t want anyone to see me until I have it all together. My hands shake, my heart squeezes and I even cry sometimes when I know I have to go out of the house and see people, see the world….show up. I have not always been like this. It is very frustrating. It is embarrassing. I know better. It is not rational. But it is what it is.

melody holding leo for the first time this one

here’s me showing up to meet my brand new grandson for the very first time…he was just born last week! (you can call me Mimi now)

You see, over the last few years since my husband is really pretty much 100% recovered and I am out of the extreme adrenaline and survival mode….I have struggled with symptoms of PTSD. I have fought it, I have resisted it, I have found one way to busy myself after another to numb it. It makes me afraid of just about everything. It has affected so many parts of my life and I am determined to get to the other side of this weird place I am in….so much of the time I feel scared, obsessed with feeling chubby and I feel older and more used up than ever.

at the beach

 showing up last month to be with some of my beloveds at the beach…I called the night before the trip and said I just couldn’t come…but then I showed up 

at the beach kolleen pixie

I have been struggling for for quite a while, yet you wouldn’t know it because I have a pretty public life that I have to make myself show up to. I am just telling the truth. I am still healing. Most days it is very hard for me to leave my house or even my bed room. But…once I get past the initial anxiety and I just show up…usually wonderful things happen and I am so so SOOO thankful that I came out of hiding. It is not that I do not want to live my life…it is just that sometimes I can’t make it past the fear of being seen or having to talk to others.….but then I have to look my fear in the face and move forward anyway…because life is just too good to miss out on, friends.

I show up 2

 I show up…I keep showing up….I show up…I keep showing up….I show up…I keep showing up….

Almost every day I have to talk myself out of the thought of “I will show up when I am more put together…..until then, I will stay in this bedroom”

All different layers are healing and they have been healing for years. I am happy! I love my life. I am truly living the very best time of my life right now…once I get past the big leap of JUST SHOWING UP to my life. I just have this crazy big, mean hand on my heart that squeezes it and makes me so afraid … and if it was not for the loving people in my life who pull me out of hiding, I would stay in my bedroom probably for the rest of forever and not come out. That is how it is on the worst days……and things are getting better and better…the more I show up….just be brave and show up…the better things get.

madis bday

showing up to take my daughter out to celebrate her 18th birthday

At the end of last year when I was figuring out what I wanted this new year to be about…..I decided it was the year of US…my husband and I. It’s time for us to heal together and to tell our stories to each other and to start our brand new life together. This summer it will be 10 years since his accident and there are so many things that have never be spoken of, talked about or dealt with. We have worked so long on surviving that we have never gone back and talked about everything that happened. I wanted that to happen this year. I thought it was going to be easy…it hasn’t been. We have finally started talking about very difficult and very painful things.

mimi and pompie

 showing up together for this brand new time in our lives as Mimi and Pompie (our grandparent names)…..something we have been looking forward to our whole marriage

That new goal of healing the past 10 years with my husband has made my anxiety and fear and PTSD symptoms come on full blast. But it has been so good, too. All of this stuff has to be taken care of, beautiful souls! I am showing up to my stories, my pain and my wounds, too. Those stories have tried to escape my body in the form of hives….and they have clinged to my body in the form of  25 lbs of extra fat. It’s been a wild adventure in my little sphere! I am determined to keep walking through this part of my journey until I am on the other side.

I show up 3

 I show up…I keep showing up….I show up…I keep showing up….I show up…I keep showing up….

At the beginning of the year I really got honest with myself about what I needed to do most, what I needed to stop doing, and where I needed to focus. When I asked myself the hardest questions, the same answers kept coming up……and I realized that I need to just show up….to be brave and just show up even when I just want to hide or run…or run and hide. Show up scared…show up chubby…show up older….show up sad…show up happy…..show up sparkling….show up dull. I just needed to show up. I needed to show up even though I don’t want to show up until I have everything put back together. I don’t want to show up until this armor of fat that my body is holding onto is gone. I don’t want to show up until my hands stop shaking.

dining room ready for campers

 I show up…I keep showing up….I show up…I keep showing up….I show up…I keep showing up….

camp girls copy

 I show up…I keep showing up….I show up…I keep showing up….I show up…I keep showing up…

nametags for campers

 showing up for the beloved sisters who show up at my house for brave girl camp……every day when I show up for them….my life is changed for the better

But…the truth is, I have to show up to my life anyway. So I made some brave goals to get out of my house and go on some brave adventures…really show up to them.

I went on a 4000 mile road trip last week with 8 friends. We all flew to Arkansas and drove to Missouri, Oklahoma and Texas after exploring the Ozarks in Arkansas. What none of them knew is that I do not like to drive. I am scared of driving. But guess what? I was the driver. We drove through 4 states that I have never driven the roads on.

melody driving

 showing up to drive my friends all over the country

I showed up….and I showed up with my insides shaking. I showed up even though I wanted to stay behind the door and call in sick. I called my friends the night before the flight to Arkanssas and told them that I probably shouldn’t come…that there was so much going on at home. They flat out said…..get on that plane….come as you are….you HAVE to show up…this is important. I almost didn’t go….til the last second of last minute packing, my hands were shaking and my heart was squeezing and 10,000 fears pulsed through my brain.

girls at airport

 showing up….we all showed up from all over the country (AND CANADA!)….each of us having a whole lot of reasons not to show up….but we all showed up anyway

Then I got on the plane and I flew across the country and when I landed….I saw a dear beloved waiting for me….she didn’t care that my bum was bigger or that my hands were shaking or that I was not as sparkly as I had ever been..she was just so happy to see me….and I was so glad I showed up. We hugged and we laughed and then we got in the car and headed to a meeting where I was going to meet a bunch of beloved girls that I had never met before and my anxiety started all over again and I kept having to say…”I SHOW UP…I KEEP SHOWING UP” … and that night brought some of the greatest miracles of my life…because I showed up.

saving grace girls

The first night in Arkansas, I got to show up for the brave young women of Saving Grace, a home for beloveds who have timed out of the foster care system…where they bravely transition into adulthood by making good choices and working very hard. They have been doing SOUL RESTORATION, my online course,  as part of their program at Saving Grace…..I got to be there for the last week of their 8 week journey….and I even got to teach the lesson. This was one of the highlights of my life and I will never forget this night. I will never forget these young women. Please please please go to their website and read all about this amazing program at Saving Grace  HERE

saving grace doing soul restoration teaching at saving grace 2

showing up for my beloved little sisters at Saving Grace….to teach the and even humbly and feebly sing to them :)

teaching at saving hope


me and becky

had I not shown up…I would not have gotten to meet my beloved sister, Becky Shaffer…founder and director of Saving Grace….she is a new hero to me

me and holley gerth

and if I had not shown up, I would not have gotten to make a soul deep connection with beloved Holley Gerth…a true soul sister…you need to check out her best selling books and blog……

..she is an earth angel, and she finds time in her busy life to help out with Saving Grace

signing them off

because I showed up, I even got to sign off their worksheets that they had finished the course as part of their program at Saving Grace

sacred guitar girl

 and this beloved sister even let me play her most prized possession…her guitar…and mark my words, this girl here is going to be a music star someday

truth cards made for me

they even made some truth cards just for me, with my name on them and everything….these will be a forever prized possession….a forever prized evening

That 11 day road trip was one of the most epic adventures of my life. Many days I sat on my bed in one hotel or cabin or another and had an anxiety attack about having to show up again in a new place…with new people…or people I know. Having to show up chubbier, older, more broken and scared. Many days I wanted to say…I will stay back today……..but every day……I knew I had to show up for whatever the day would hold. I kept showing up.

country roads in arkansas

showing up to uncharted territory 

stopping along the way

 showing up to notice the unexpected miracles and gifts along the way that happen when you show up and just hit the road….not even knowing what’s up ahead

We had one sacred moment after another on that trip. A zillion sacred moments that never would have happened if I had not have showed up. When I think about the fact that I almost stayed in my bedroom instead of showing up for this trip, it brings tears to my eyes….I would have missed out on SO MUCH….so so so much. So many lessons, so many miracles, so many opportunities to grow and stretch and so many new people….beautiful souls….so many….

us on the porch in arkansas

We all showed up.


melody ross with melody the deer

I showed up and a miracle happened. This baby deer  and the circumstances surrounding our meeting has changed my life.

If I would not have shown up….this never would have happened.

I would have been hiding out in my bedroom. 

ordering at ozark cafe

lovestorm at ozark cafe

on dwanas bluff

melody bluff

I showed up and found peace  


I showed up and found the perfect gift for a friend that I wanted to spoil and bless. (she deserves it)

corinna taking pictures of flowers


I showed up and watched my friends seek beauty, notice beauty and capture beauty. (they ARE beauty!)

getting my new deer


I showed up to be presented with this deer who is called BELOVED. I have no words for this experience.(yet)

getting my new deer with angels


I showed up and met two women who are supposed to be part of my life from now on…..

I can not imagine not showing up for this.

janet on the bench


I showed up and watched this girl, a long time beloved sister of mine, walk through the week with so much bravery.

She showed up in spite of very difficult circumstances.

Because she showed up…I got to tell her just what she means to me…..she showed me the meaning of campfire friend.

gyspies in front of texas sign


I showed up and fell madly in love with Texas…and with these soul sister gypsies I was traveling with

jesus and deer

 I showed up to the miracle of this art and the way it is arranged and someday I will tell you what a miracle it was.

Sometimes it feels like things are orchestrated just for our own healing…this was one of those times…

and I never would have experienced it if I would not have shown up.

christy in the boot shop

 I showed up and met a soul sister who sells vintage cowboy boots for a  living…she was in a wheelchair from an accident that happened just before this show

….and she showed up anyway. We sat and talked for quite a while and Lisa and I both found vintage red boots to take home and love.


me and annie

lisa at zapp hall

lisa selfie


I showed up and got to see my friends blossom into who they really are.

meeting brave girl gypsy


I showed up and I got to meet a brave girl who recognized me from my videos…..she stopped me on a day when I was about to have an anxiety attack…and she turned everything around for me.

I was so in awe when she just stopped me in the middle of Texas and told me that Soul Restoration had changed her life and saved her marriage….I told her, ME TOO!….it was a beautiful moment.

meeting brave girl with my stuff


I showed up and ended up in a store that was full of my products and owned by a brave girl!!! What a beautiful surprise!!! In fact, I walked into many many shops in Texas to see my art on the walls.

I would not have ever seen that if I would not have shown up.


meeting stephanie brave girl

 I showed up and ran into another brave girl who is taking THE WALK right now and we had such a beautiful conversation and then ended up miraculously running into each other a few times more….

I love making new friends  in serendipitous ways…..can only happen if you show up!

lovestorm at mexican restaurant

because I showed up…..I got to see my friends LoveStorming everywhere we went….leaving notes of love for waitresses, waiters, store clerks and strangers.

(you ail learn all about LoveStorm soon soon soon! THis was our maiden voyage LoveStorm Road Trip!)

following DWana


I showed up and got to follow my friend in her white car as we drove all across the South.

AND HERE IS ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT THINGS THAT I LEARNED ON THAT TRIP…that every one of my friends had to decide to show up too….they all had to be brave and overcome or sacrifice something to be there. Showing up is a BRAVE ACT and the best stuff really only happens when we show up. It is not easy to do….but we have to do it anyway! We all made a big commitment to REALLY show up to our lives…..not just me…all of us. (and as you can see in the photo below…Texas makes my hair all sorts of crazy)

gyspies in the flower field

Just a few days after I got home, my son and daughter in law welcomed their first child and our FIRST GRANDCHILD into the world 2 weeks early. I wanted to be more put together before this child came….I know that sounds so irrational, but I had to make myself get up and get out the door because my heart has been waiting for this moment forever and I was not going to give in to the anxiety of not wanting to be seen. I showed up to meet my precious and beloved Grandson….and imagine if I had given into the fear. This baby boy gives me so much courage to continue to show up…so  I show up…I keep showing up…scared, chubby, older and frazzled. I am his Mimi and he does not care that I am not all put together.

boys with leo

 I showed up to see my own baby boys hold their brand new baby nephew……..the love was palpable….

marq seeing leo for first time

 …and to see my husband turn to absolute mush the first time he held our grandson………imagine if I would have missed that…

I show up…I keep showing up……I show up….I keep showing up……I show up…..I keep showing up….

Something I know for sure is that there will be a time in all of our lives when we do NOT want to show up….when showing up would be the most difficult, scary and uncomfortable thing we could ever imagine…..but life only happens if you show up to it.

We have all got to show up…no matter what condition we are in. We have got to help each other show up.

Things are getting better…day by day by day…..and I know that they will continue to get better. This is a season in my life that I have to learn from. I am going to have to be brave and show up into my life every day…show up even though none of my clothes in my closet fit right now…even if I have hives some days…..even if I am afraid that I will have to talk to someone…..I have to show up…..and every day I am so beyond thankful that I did show up.

Because what I have learned is that those crazy little fears steal every good thing if we let them. We fear being judged, we fear not doing it right, we fear being uncomfortable, we fear getting or looking older, we fear not being enough or having enough, we fear not being understood. Those fears, they steal our adventures, our experiences, our relationships and our dreams. They steal our minutes, our hours, our days and our years. I am going to show up to life…and I am going to keep showing up. Even while I am scared, chubby, growing older and not quite put back together……I am going to show up anyway. I am not powerless.

I show up 1

And please know that I want you to show up just as you are too. I will hug you tight and thank you for coming….because I know that it was hard for you to show up too. Let’s just show up and see what sacred adventures await the brave.

Love you all so much.



Critical announcement for all current BGC Community Users

We are SO EXCITED to announce that we are nearing completion of a 2 year project to rebuild our website and create a custom Brave Girls community platform that will be easier and friendlier to use….a true place where women can come together every day!!!

Here’s what we’ve been working on for EARLY SUMMER 2014:

- a new COMMUNITY platform…super clean, friendly, and easy to use and navigate

- a new ONLINE CLASSROOM PLATFORM with a personal dashboard and a SINGLE LOGIN (hurray!) to manage all of your Brave Girls online classes

- a NEW LOOK AND FEEL to the Brave Girls Club website and blog, with more content in a wide variety of categories, something for everyone just about every day

- a huge, gigantic SURPRISE that we can’t wait to tell you about!

IMPORTANT: If you are a current user of our community, you need to know that everything in the Community including ALL GROUPS will go away effective March 10. If there is ANYTHING that you want to save from community postings, group information, contact information for friends, profiles, images, etc., you must go in and retrieve it prior to March 10. THIS INCLUDES PAST ONLINE CLASS GROUPS. After that date, nothing will remain of the prior community site, and there will be no way to retrieve any of the information or data. This will allow us a clean slate for activating the new and improved community.

This affects the COMMUNITY/FORUM AREA of our site ONLY. Everything else will continue to function exactly the same.  

This does not affect any online classes. Don’t worry!…access to our current online classrooms continues normally. 

The button to JOIN or LOGIN will disappear effective March 10 as well. We hope that during this transitional period, you will continue to participate with other Brave Girls by commenting on our blog and Facebook page.

Once the new platform is launched, we’ll have a clean slate and will invite all Brave Girls to start from the beginning on creating fresh new groups. We know that this will be a painful change for some of you and that losing the Groups and all of the content will be an enormous loss, and we are very regretful of that. But we know that this must be done in order to move forward in the best possible way. The existing Community platform has been buggy and difficult and frustrating to use, and we can’t wait to get everyone on a new platform…we think you will love it! 

Looking forward to great things in the coming year!


kathy and melody and the brave girl team

Some very personal thoughts on feeling powerless – come walk with me.

Can I tell you a story?…..one you might know some of….but not all of…one that you may never have heard at all. It’s a story just like everyone else’s….but I just really want you to understand where I am coming from. I think I suffer the most when I believe that I am powerless…when I tell myself that I am powerless….when I behave as if I am powerless. I think we all suffer so much when we believe the lie that we are powerless over our situations, feelings and even what is happening in the world. WE MUST STEP INTO OUR BEAUTIFUL POWER.

-can I tell you a story


collages from “THE WALK” click HERE to learn more

-I am rooting for you horizontal

At the core of me….I’m a pretty simple gal……….I love to garden and I live in the country. I have a simple life and a big family……I usually have paint on my hands and I do most of my work sitting on my sofa with my kids and husband around me. I love my family more than anything in the world. I have fought a hard battle to keep my family intact and I would do it again as many times as it would take.

-- melody ross gardening


- -melody cairns

But there was a time….when I let myself get sucked into a pretty chaotic lifestyle. For years…and years…and years. I believed the lie that to be valuable, loved and worthy….that I had to win the sparkly prizes and have the perfect body and have the perfect home….then it moved to even more things….a successful business…a traveling career…and so on…and on…and on………

--melody in convertible



I did pretty well in all of those games….and I had many wonderful experiences….but it never seemed to be enough.  I spent more than a decade trying to win the ‘ring toss’ I would win at something….but I still felt like I would not be valuable, loved or worthy unless I climbed a little higher…it was a trick…..and I fell for it.

more more more faster faster faster

collages from “THE WALK” click HERE to learn more

I felt like I was doing it for my family…..one more month, one more year….one more gig…one more deal……then I will slow down….

you need to appear perfect

I would tell you the whole years-long story….but it would take way too many days…but….some things happened that brought the whole house of cards down down down down down……..and then set it on fire. And then sued me for what I still owed on that house of cards……and then came and cut down my trees and kicked my dog and threw rotten apples at me as I hung my head on the way out of town. Oh the shame. Oh the pain. Oh the spinning. My journey even took my husband from me for 5-6 years of hell….and everything else crashed on top of it. I didn’t know that this was my chance to get out of the chaos…..and I got in even deeper…….made a lot of really unfortunate choices.

I can take you to the next level

But I lost those games too……..

Suddenly……I lost all of those things that gave me a ticket to belong.

…and then the lies really took hold.

I believed all of that stuff that I got told when I was on the ladder, standing in line at the carnival of chaos, and running running running to all of those places where I was told I was supposed to be if I was valuable, loved and worthy. The thing is…I was listening to the wrong voices.

clown carnie better win


collages from “THE WALK” click HERE to learn more

teddy bear

I lost it all, you see. We lost everything, all of those pink teddybear prizes from the Carnival of Chaos….we lost all of them…….

….and when I tried to get out….the lies got louder…

I made you who you are


collages from “THE WALK” click HERE to learn more

you are trapped here

psycho lady

it was a looooooooong residency in the Carnival of Chaos……..but through a long string of tough journeys, and a whole lot of miracles…I finally found my way out. And yes…we lost everything…we walked away from everything…

…but we found everything that matters. I sure don’t want to go back there to learn it again though…I want to be wise. I know you want to be wise too.

There’s that quiet little place that we often overlook, sometimes take for granted…..and never realize how valuable it is until we deeply know the alternative…that place where messages and words are quietly spoken…and where it is always our choice to take them or leave them…….

that’s what we call  “THE CAMPFIRE”

There are some things in life that we just have to learn on our own. Alone….just us. We can be surrounded by people, and surrounded by books, and surrounded by leaders, and surrounded by scripture, and surrounded with advice and surrounded by all sorts of roadsigns and still………..we have to learn some things on our own. These times are hard…but they HELP US WITH EVERY SINGLE DAY THAT WE LIVE AFTER THAT….and they help us to help others. We get to live the life that we are meant to live….a life where we are all just learning, growing, and helping each other along……The Campfire Life.

-that must have been hard

collages from “THE WALK” click HERE to learn more

Sometimes we have to learn the same sorts of lessons over and over and over again in different ways. I like to think that we are soooo loved that our Creator never gives up on us….but keeps going with all of the lessons until we get it. Til we choose not to suffer…til we dodge all of the balls of suffering and choose instead the trails that lead to joy….then ultimately, create brand new trails that lead to joy……joy trailblazers.

-i notice the quiet little things you do

collages from “THE WALK” click HERE to learn more

I KNOW you have been through experiences just like these…or maybe you are in a sort of Carnival of Chaos right now. I soooooo want for you to understand that YOU ARE NOT POWERLESS. I AM NOT POWERLESS. NONE OF US ARE POWERLESS.

We can make choices every day…little choices and big choices and easy choices and difficult choices…….choices that many others are not brave enough to make. Choices to slow down, gather your beloveds, embrace the beautiful little miracles all around you, work on your soul and help others…….things that bring real, lasting happiness that does not have to be paid for, that does not go out of style, that does not get rated……and that does not require a membership or a ticket to “belong”.

I walked away from the Carnival of Chaos and I never want to go back………… through all sorts of miracles, I was given the chance to create a new life, the life that was waiting for me to notice it and step into it.

family 2012

IT IS THE REAL GOOD LIFE. The people you love you most MISS YOU and want you with them…..they want you happy, at peace……they just want YOU.

-campfire map


collages from “THE WALK” click HERE to learn more

I invite you to go on a walk with me to find out what the good life means for you………..because it is different for all of us……it is the best thing in the world.

-campfire carnival side by side

Jump off the crazy train…..step away from the Carnival of Chaos…….join us at the Campfire. This journey starts in a week…please just check it out…I promise it will be one of the very best things you do for yourself and everyone you love. I’m going to tell you stories from my carnival that have never been told…and all about my journey to the campfire…..we will make all sorts of collaged maps and you will leave with a guidebook of your very own maps for your beautiful life that is waiting for you.

Please….just check it out. CLICK HERE and it will take you there.



Brave Girls Club - THE WALK - online course



How to Heal – (from things that aren’t true)

A beloved in my life asked me this week…very simply…HOW DO YOU HEAL?

white feather

I knew what she meant….I knew she was talking about some things that no one on the outside can see….but that have been tormenting her on the inside.

WHAT I KNOW…from experience…is that we can spend weeks, months, YEARS, LIFETIMES trying to heal from things that were never even true in the first place. We try every program, read every book, get advice from every person, try every lotion, potion…..and we still can never heal from something that was never true to begin with. What we have to heal from….is believing things that aren’t true…things like “I AM NOT WORTHY” “I AM NOT GOOD ENOUGH” or “I DESERVED THAT TREATMENT” or “THAT WAS MY FAULT” …. you can not heal from those things if you keep trying to heal from being NOT WORTHY or NOT GOOD ENOUGH….because those things ARE NEVER TRUE TO BEGIN WITH. What you have to do……is CALL THOSE THINGS OUT…and THEN heal from what happened when you believed those things were true.

SO she asked…HOW DO YOU HEAL?  I wrote her this response…and when I was done….I knew I wanted to share it…because it is true. (and I also knew that I needed to remember it, because I forget that it is true…)

driving in the sunset


How do you heal? Well, it takes time….intention…it takes prayer…and it takes identifying what is still hurting and then categorizing those things into what is true and what is just a story you have attached to something to help it make sense…..then you have to let yourself grieve what is true (what really happened that you wish would have happened differently) and you have to CALL OUT what is not true…. 

How about WHY SHOULD WE HEAL??? Well….so that you can finally let yourself be really happy…all the way back to your little girl self….

let her be happy

To heal from what is true, you must allow yourself to grieve it. And grief does not ask for your feedback or permission….it just goes thru all of its stages and does what it needs to do….so you just have to pray through it…breathe through it….sit with it….be gentle with yourself…don’t resist it….let it pass through you until it has done it’s job. (GOOGLE the stages of grief to find out more)

…..then healing from what is not true is the harder part…..”that must have happened because I deserved it” “that must have happened because I was not worth it to make sure it happened in a different way” “that must have happened because I am not good enough or right enough or as good as they are” …… So you can see how trying to heal from something that wasn’t true in the first place can really become a lifetime of frustrating confusion. To heal from things that aren’t true…..you have to cover those things generously and thickly with the truth. Then you have to gently rub that truth in until it’s absorbed…..and then you have to add more til it is full of life and light and luminous.

Lies are like darkness…..you have to add light. Darkness is nothing more than a lack of light. When lies take over….they grow in the dark….they scare us into keeping them secret. Secrets kill us…..because we add all sorts of stories to the top of them that aren’t true……. And most of the time…….it’s those stories and lies that are still hurting us….not the thing that happened.

you are the heroine

ALL OF US will have a lot of true stuff to grieve over in our lifetimes, things that truly need healing…..and that is worth putting time into….learning the stages of grief and mercifully allowing them…..as long as we are working on healing the things that are true……sometimes the things we need to grieve over most are things we thought were true but find out weren’t. It is ok to grieve over something we once believed.

The things that you can never heal from are things that are not true……because they don’t even exist if they are not true….they only exist as torturous thoughts….thoughts that need the truth. Love will always win. Love will always be the brightest light on the darkest things.

How do you heal?

(and this is just my own humble opinion…my own truth, coming from my own experiences in my own life and the lives of my beloveds)

First…you really have to categorize the stuff you are trying to heal from into…

  1. THIS IS TRUE (for example….I just lost someone/something I love)


  1. THIS IS NOT TRUE (for example….I deserved to lose them/it, I didn’t deserve them/it in the first place, I am never going to be able to make it without him/her/it, I messed up beyond repair/redemption, I didn’t ever deserve what I wanted/needed, this is going to ruin me, if anyone knew the truth about me, I would be all alone )

HERE IS WHAT IS TRUE (for sure) – you are a beautiful soul who just lived through the experience of losing something/someone you love….and you will gain a lot of wisdom from this experience that will serve you (and those in your life) for the rest of your life if you allow it to.

Typically, TRUTH FEELS PEACEFUL and RIGHT and the truth somehow reminds us that we have the power and the gift to choose our own way, always (even if it is a difficult truth)

Typically, LIES FEEL CONFUSING and want us to believe that we are powerless to choose over them  (even when they are trying to seduce us with things that seem really really really good)

journal and pen

WHAT IF you did something with your OWN choices that you are trying to heal from? SAME THING…

1. THIS IS TRUE (for example….I made a giant mistake and broke promises to myself and others)


2. THIS IS NOT TRUE (for example….I deserved to be miserable, I must pay for this for the rest of my life, I am unworthy of happiness, joy, goodness, I am too far gone to ever be a “good person” ever again)

HERE IS WHAT IS TRUE (for sure) – you are a beautiful soul who just lived through the experience of making a giant mistake….and you will gain a lot of wisdom from this experience that will serve you (and those in your life) for the rest of your life if you allow it to.

she is happy beacause

Sooooo…the best way I’ve ever found to heal is to be where the love is the strongest….and to create as much love as I possibly can…and to give and spread as much love as I possibly can. Darkness can not survive in that climate….it’s too bright. Lies can’t….it’s too true. There will always be shadows and that’s where we get to keep working on what is true. Pray and pray and pray and write and write and write….and spend a little bit of time identifying things that you might be trying to heal from that aren’t even true….but just a little bit of time……because your best time will be spent identifying what is true moving forward….the life that we are meant to have…the life you are meant to have….centered in love and joy and peace and beauty. All of that stuff will always chase away what isn’t true

-love more

I love you and this is hard….it is hard work. It hurts…..but what’s waiting for you is more beautiful than you can imagine…..I promise. TRUTH feels good, because it is made of love and light.

Let yourself grieve and heal what is true…what really did happen….and CALL OUT what isn’t true….

It is simple…but it is not easy. It is worth doing though. It really is. It is all centered in LOVE though…just like TRUTH IS. Want to know what TRUTH feels like? It feels like LOVE. If it is not centered in love….I always question it…..always.

Please don’t spend ANY MORE TIME trying to heal from something that was never even true in the first place. You are not broken. Someone or something just lied to you…and you believed it, that’s all. CALL IT OUT.

I love you so much

Then…..live in the love that IS TRUE. (it is all around us…all of us)

YOU are so very loved. You are meant for a happy, beautiful life. YOU ARE.

THAT is the truth.




About things that are hidden………and what we can do about it

You know…you never really see a woman’s underwear or bra, in most cases. Or a girl’s. It is something that is hidden. I know this might seem like a crazy or uncomfortable or maybe even inappropriate subject during the holidays (or any other day, right?)…but please women, stay with me here……. there is a need….an important one…we need you to hear this.

bra beautiful soul

So…a woman or girl’s underclothes….they are largely hidden from anyone on the outside…..she sees them when she puts them on in the morning, and when she takes them off….and sometimes unspeakable things happen to women and girls that end up with someone seeing their undergarments who has no business seeing them or the things underneath them.  I’m just going to come right out and tell you what this is about. This is about hidden things that we just don’t think about because we don’t see them……but things that are important all the same. This is about dignity….and having what you need….and  I don’t write unless I have something to say…so I hope you will please read this, because I have something to say.

I learned something this year that I really should have known…..or suspected. This new knowledge has started a domino effect that started with the question of “what can we do about this?”  I think we all have knowledge that the exploitation of women is not slowing down, but increasing, particularly in the sex trade…that women and girls are being trapped, kidnapped and turned to slaves at an alarming rate…right here in our own country and all over the world. We can not turn our heads from this. These women are our sisters and they need our help. There are also many of our sisters leaving abusive and horrid conditions, and trying to recover from poverty.

Well……I was talking to brave girl Anna Oginsky when she was at camp last month, we were talking about a shelter in her area that she was raising money for….a shelter for women, our sisters….this one in particular is a safe house for girls and women rescued from sex trafficking. She then said something that pounded into my heart.

…she said the money she was raising was going to buy them new bras and underwear.

It hit me like a punch in the gut. With all of the work I have been blessed to do to help other women…with all of the yucky situations I have even found myself and my own family in…it had never occurred to me what an important need this is.

panties you are so very loved

Think about it…..right next to our skin….in some of our most tender places…our heart, our shoulders, our womb, our special places meant for sacred things…………and many of these girls and women have been violated in the worst possible places in all of these hidden places…….and are left with soul scars….but also reminders every time they put on their underclothes…the clothes that no one else sees. Often times the underclothes are so worn, threadbare, stained……but it is all that there is. There is something to this, you know? You can dress up in nice new pretty clothes…..but you are the only one who knows what is underneath them.

We want to help provide lovely things for women and girls who are healing….because this is a real need and it’s not really being addressed. We want to raise money for lovely undergarments for women and girls who need their dignity restored. We also are working to create beautiful, soft woven fabric tags to sew into undergarments with beautiful truths on them to be seen every time the undergarments are put on and taken off. These tags can also be sewn into regular, everyday clothes.  You will hear lots more about that soon. Our goal is to actually have beautiful truths sewn inside of all of our daughter’s coats, shirts, socks, shoes….everything. We will be making these tags available soon for you to do the same…but first we are starting where there is this deep hidden need.

pants and shirt

Our first fundraiser is with my dear friend, and fellow brave girl, Lisa McKenney. She and I have partnered to create CHAINS OF FREEDOM..….chains that we wear around our necks to show support for our sisters who are finding their way back to freedom after being enslaved and exploited. The proceeds from these necklaces will go toward 2 different shelters here in the U.S…..to buy new lovely undergarments for our sisters as they are regaining their worth and dignity. We are working on getting the tags done so that truths will also be sewn inside of them……reminders that underneath it all….where no one can see, they are worthy, valuable, loved and not forgotten.

cof 2


Lisa’s necklaces have already raised over $11,000 for these causes and our goal is to get to $20,000 by the end of the year to donate lovely things for our sisters.

cof 3

cof 4

We are helping the shelter where Anna lives…here is a blog post from Anna about why this cause is so dear to her…..


and a shelter in Seattle where Lisa lives……they are putting together what is called COMFORT KITS…..and we are going to help. :)

This shelter is called I WANT REST … can you believe that name? We want to help them get some rest…and some comfort


Soooo…head on over HERE  and purchase a beautiful handmade necklace for someone you love this holiday season…knowing that the proceeds are going to an incredible cause.

And we will keep you posted about the BRAVE GIRL LOVETAGS that we hope get sewn into clothing all over the world to remind our sisters, mothers, daughters about who they are and how important they are in the world. <3

Thank you. xoxoxo