This morning I was walking out back and saw this mother with her babies…..I love the way they just follow her….the way that motherhood is so part of life…

I first want you to know that I am and have always been a very unconventional mother….a free sprit mother with free spirit children….sometimes that has made me feel and look like a freak….and often….it has made me feel like I am not doing it right. There have been so many things that have happened in our life that have made it necessary to adapt to situations….situations that made us fall outside of the ‘norm’….not so much where I have ever belonged anyway….but still…being a mom is hard and you never really feel like you are doing it right.

What I have learned is that NONE of us ever feel like we are doing it just right…..but that every one of us really is doing our very best.

I have always seen my children as big souls who are simply in much tinier bodies than ours….and that my job as a mother is to help them to grow into the exact soul that they were born to be…and already are. I have tried from the time I became a mother to just listen listen listen for what they individually need….being a mother is the hardest job I have ever had…the most precious, amazing difficult job. It is not always fun and there is so much that I flat out stink at…….but I want more than anything for  my children to learn to use their own wings. I want them to have an amazing life.  I have often felt like my children were wiser, better, smarter souls than I am……and if you ever spent a day with my children…you would understand what I mean. (just like I would feel about YOUR children if I spent a day with them) Motherhood has been this giant honor to me all along….a terrifying one……a scary one that so many days I wonder how I was ever given the right, the honor and the stewardship to carry out. I have been a mother for 21 years now…and still….it scares me every day to know that I am sort of in charge here.

My biggest fear in life is that I will mess up my kids. Truly…this is my very biggest fear.

So I have 5 amazing, funny, smart children who are free spirits with strong minds and wills and with their own dreams and their own goals….I am very very very close to all of my children. Marq and I have loved (not always ‘liked’ especially between the ages of 13-17) being parents to them from the very day in 1991 when I was 19 and he was 23 and we had ABSOLUTELY NO CLUE WHAT WE WERE DOING and our little dimple-cheeked son came into the world with a mass of black hair and sparkling eyes.

I don’t talk much about my children because I never want to cross the line with THEIR OWN story….ya know? I want them to live it out and be able to tell it on their own when they are ready to do that. I have learned the hard way to keep sacred things sacred…and my children are sacred to me. Please just know that my life is completely wrapped up in our 3 children who still live here at home with us…and the oldest two who are now living on their own but are still here just about every day. We are together every day…we eat together, work together, play together, dream together….we help each other…we all fiercely love and protect each other.

But there was a time, not so long ago, that I completely dreaded mother’s day….every single year that it came along. This is not because I dreaded being a mother….it is because every year….after the breakfast in bed from my sweet kids and the tender written words and special treatment by my husband…….we would head to church or flip on the television and hear a whole program about mothers….about motherhood….(often about perfect mothers, about the ideal image of motherhood) ….. and then the television shows, the commercials……the greeting cards………

…and I would start to feel little daggers being driven into my heart over all of my inadequacies as a mother….

…especially when my children were small and motherhood was in the “boot camp” stage….diapers and bottles and colic and croup and too many car seats to buckle to take a 10 minute trip to the store (so you just stay home, isolated, all the time and make due) …..during those years on mother’s day, during the nonstop tributes to mothers, I always felt myself withering a little more, a little more, a little more……….and I always wished we could just skip mother’s day because all it did was point out all of the things I was not good at and not doing and all of the ways that my children must somehow be missing out……ya know?

We have always sort of gone against the current with our parenting…..and I’m not going to give you many details of what I mean because one of the things that I think can make us very miserable on mother’s day and any OTHER day as a mother is when we look at how others are parenting and compare ourselves. What I will tell you is that I am an intuitive mother……and we are intuitive parents. We do what we feel is best for our children and our family……and very very very often that is very different than what is going on around us…what everyone else is doing………and so when I make the huge mistake of comparing….that’s when I am miserable and feel wobbly, shaky, clumsy and uncertain….just like everything else in life. Our life is 100% different from the life of any other family….we have had different experiences…we have 7 completely different personalities….we have 7 different life missions….we have 7 different sets of strengths and weaknesses…..so the only way to survive (and even thrive)  as a mother is to do it from my own heart…and listen listen listen to the gift of intuition that I know FOR SURE that we are all blessed with.

Just like everything else that we EVER do in life….especially if we are trying to do big scary things that have a lot of risks attached…….people have opinions.

Opinions are especially hurtful, even cruel when they are about the way we mother….or the way we parent……especially when they are directed at us personally…..OR WHEN WE TAKE THEM PERSONALLY.

In this age of over-information and beautiful blogs and facebook and pinterest and every other imaginable way to very beautifully and artistically be able to compare ourselves with everyone’s very very very best of everything………….please don’t ever ever ever do this when it comes to being a mother.

So….the way to be miserable on this very special, sacred and fragile day is to seek out every tribute to every mother (or any tribute to any other mother) and look at all of the ways that you don’t measure up to those tributes. Please don’t choose to spend this day in this way. So much is left out of those stories….so much….and if EVERYTHING was included…..those tributes would end up looking exactly like your life. ok? You are a mother worth writing a tribute about because motherhood is hard stuff that doesn’t really have big rewards that are easy to see every day….and often the rewards are many decades away from the time the work has been put in….with years and years of heartache, exhaustion and weariness in between.

Want to have a good day on mother’s day? First……give yourself some grace…..believe it when your children tell you that they love and you and they they are so happy that YOU are their mother. Believe it if they DON’T TELL YOU TOO…..because let’s be honest….there are stages in a child/teen/young-adult’s life when they are fantastically self-centered and believe that mothers will just show up every day just like the sun does every morning…and then they never think another thing about it. Someday……someday someday someday you will see that the love all really did sink in…..and that it was worth it. YOU KNOW that if you had it to do over again….you would have done ALL of that stuff that you never got thanked for. It was worth it.

Think hard about all of the ways that you have loved your children the VERY BEST WAY THAT YOU KNOW HOW TO LOVE THEM….and that YOU have just flat out done THE VERY BEST THAT YOU COULD DO……..and that you continue to do that every day.

…even if you can look back now and see that there are things that you would have done differently….because now you know better. You always did the best you could do…

And finally….the very very very best way to have a fantastic mother’s day is to look around at all of your friends…all of your family….all of the women in your life…..and please please please tell them that they are doing a great job. (because every one of them is doing the very best that they can do right now)

There is not a more beautiful, comforting and healing compliment that you can get about being a mother than one from another mother.

Tell the other mothers in your life that they are doing a great job….an mean it.

What we DO NOT NEED is to be judged….or to judge…..we don’t really need opinions about what we should have done, or should be doing……NO ONE KNOWS what is going on in any family that is being so carefully thought-through, agonized over and dealt with in the very best way that the mother (and father) knows how to do it.

Let’s be good to each other as mothers. Let’s not judge OURSELVES against each other…and let’s not judge each other. …and let’s all take a guilt-free nap….knowing that we really are pretty much exactly like every other mother alive out there….whether she is the mother being talked about in the tributes, or the one being gossiped about because of her out-of-the-box ways……let’s all just give each other grace enough to know that we are all doing the very best we can do………and that we all need a hug and a nap and some kindness to keep us going.
And…let’s remember that whether we have children or not…we all have mother hearts…and there are so many ways to mother……so be sure to reach out to those who have mothered you in any way…….sometimes the ones who mother us best are those who do not even have children of their own.

HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY WEEKEND.
xoxoxo
melody

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First….I wrote a blog post for every one of you that I really really really beg you to read. It is the best way I could think of to thank you for being you and being here. Please please please read it when you are done here……I wrote it with every ounce of love I could muster up…FOR YOU.

SOME VERY PERSONAL THOUGHTS ON BEING “THE ONE” http://bravegirlsclub.com/archives/11046

Ok…now to the winners…I stayed up late into the night wondering how on earth I (we!) could ever begin to thank you for what you have written over the last 3 days….this was certainly not anything that was expected……but if you and I are ever face to face (and I hope we are) I hope that you will ask me to tell you my thoughts about the things that you have written……because they are too special for me to write about to the whole public……just know that you have done things for my heart that I didn’t even know I needed so much………….and I stayed up late wondering what I could give you to help you understand just what you mean to us…and what all of this has meant. EVERY DAY as I write the daily truths I wonder if you know that we feel like you are our sisters, our best friends….our companions on this journey in life….I wonder, and I know Kathy does too….if you have ANY idea of how much we love all of you…..truly like you are our own flesh and blood………….to hear that you feel it means MORE THAN YOU COULD EVER UNDERSTAND….and to have you send just as much love, care and beautiful words of encouragement and truth right back to us was almost more than our hearts could bear….my heart literally felt as though it was swelling twice the size of my body all weekend as I read your comments…….this was all so unexpected.

WE WISH WITH EVERYTHING IN US THAT EVERY ONE OF YOU COULD HAVE WON……if you had your heart set on Soulbook….check the class out, it is so worth it….and if you had your heart set on our new books…they will be out soon!! We love you so much….

SO here you are….

Winners of SoulBook
(We will send you a special link to register for the class by the end of the day today.)

Barbara                barbaraballard316@****.com

Tilly                        Kimbubs@****.co.uk

Danielle D            danid02@****.net

Stephanie F        lilnefie@****.com

Trula                      hoofhearted5@****.com

Muzette              muzettew@****.com

Virginia W            Fullyaliv@****.com

Shaw R                 shawzam@****.com

Lee W                   leeweber300@****.com

Lisa A                     Lracmc@****.net

Angie                    acentarri@****.com

Elizabeth              ec262tx@****.com

Lynn                      lynnbluesky1@****.com

Marsha                 purple-roses@****.net

Therese               theresed2011@****.com

Susan                    susans@****.org

Kat                         kat.pevzner@****.com

Natasha               natasha.white@****.net.nz

Lori Ann               Loriann.Macko@****

Maria                    garitokloster4@****.com

Andi                       anyg@****.co.za

Karen                    karenwarpenburg@****.com

Liza                         liza@****.com

Melissa                 melissacadle@****.com

Lainey                   lainey@****.net

Camille                 camille.mcconnell@****.com

Chris                      gant2@****.net

Kelly                      Kelly.Svebek@****.com

Cheryl                   cconnell@****.com

Jodie                     gypsymoon3@****.com.au

Winners of Little Bird Told Me Volume 1

(Please send your mailing address to amy@bravegirlsclub.com. Books will arrive mid- summer.)

Kim        missgive48@****.com

Charity M            charity.marrone@****.com

Libby     bluedenim5@****.com

Laura     poundofturtle@****.com

Paula     hondaroo@****.com

Jennifer               jembers77@****.com

Diane    djdjdane@****.com

D’Wana                dwanalea@****.com

Susan    susan@****.com

Vikki      3jarsofclay@****.com

Angie    werthegreens@****.net

Ann Marie           amerlino@****.com

Kris         Krisours@****.com

Nancy   nancwilliams@****.net

Alexis    caliicelady@****.com

Jacqueline           amazinluv11@****.com

Lori Ann               loriaweber@****.com

Melissa melissacadle@****.com

Louisa   louisamarie76@****.com.au

Kim        andekim2@****.com

Melisa   melamay1010@****.com

Kacie     kphillips1460@****.com

Ellen      ecomomteam@****.net

Jincy      Jjgibson2@****.com

Mary     mdanieu@****.com

Renee   reneebarrere@****.com

Shelby  shelbyrad91@****.com

Lisa         loewenlisa01@****.com

Wendy wteare@****.net

Catherine            revcat08@****.com

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I hope you will read this because I am writing it to you. If there was ONE THING in the entire world that I would ever want you to know….this would be it. If there was one last thing I could say to you…..honestly….this would be it……and after reading all of your comments all weekend HERE…..my heart is so full (as are the hearts of every one of us at BGC) that the only thing I can do to ever even BEGIN to thank you is to tell you this very very very special thing that I really have never ever planned on sharing until I started reading those beautiful words that you wrote that shall be printed and bound into a book that I shall keep beside my bed titled “WHEN IN DOUBT”…..because ohhhh how I doubt sometimes.

There is an ancient parable (you know how I love stories)  that dates back hundreds of years….maybe thousands….one that I first heard when I was a little girl but that I didn’t truly even begin to understand until I had been alive for nearly 40 years myself…..it is the parable of the GOOD SHEPHERD…….as sheep herding and caring was such a common occupation…this parable was so relevant that many years back………..the whole basis of it is that the Good Shepherd had 100 sheep and ONE lost his/her way……and the Shepherd left the 99 and went after the ONE….

This story has been of such great importance to me that I actually painted a picture of it to hang in my home to remind me every day of it….

I painted it to remind me that forever and ever and ever for the rest of all of life……we must always be on the lookout for THE ONE…..because after you know the terror of being the ONE who is lost, who feels trapped in the lost-ness….and then the unexplainable relief of being the ONE who is found….it changes you….and you can never turn your face and your life from searching out the ONE again. I painted it mostly to remind me that at one time….for a very many years….I was the ONE. I was the one who was lost in the dark and in the lies…in the despair and in the fear.  And….I was lost……….and then LOVE saved everything and TRUTH saved everything………..and somehow if I clung to the Truth and to Love…….I was ok….I WAS FOUND and not lost. So….if the TRUTH and the LOVE are what pulled me out of the dark of the lies and the despair……I knew for sure that if we all could give more LOVE and TRUTH of who we all really are…….that no one would have to feel lost or trapped.

I am still the ONE from time to time….ok, pretty often actually, ok, …..daily I veer off course……but LOVE and TRUTH are infinitely patient and always come back for us….always find us…always ask us to put our arms around their neck while they carry us back to the rest of the fold.

I wanted to tell you…..and I haven’t until now because I wasn’t sure if you really knew or not……that during those very dark and scary years when I was lost…when I waited in the dark wondering if I would ever be found again……..that I promised that if I was found I would do whatever it took to find and help others who are lost too…..and tell them that there is ALWAYS a way back……and make sure that they knew that they were THE ONE when it was time to be THE ONE. The Good Shepherd came to me, bringing love and light and reminding me of the Truth of who I really am in the form of friends, family, books, miracles…….the Good Shepherd came every time. The Good Shepherd IS LOVE.

I know FOR SURE that life is on your side….that truth is one your side…..and especially I know with every single thing in me that LOVE is on your side. When you call out….in whatever form you may do so….prayer, meditation, journaling, hoping, wishing………there are all sorts of wonderful things happening to conspire in goodness on your behalf…….because YOU ARE THAT IMPORTANT….YOU ARE THAT LOVED. I know this to be true in a way that no one could ever take that away from me….ever……….I KNOW it is true that YOU are THE ONE whenever you lose your way…..and if you lose your way one million times…….LOVE will always come back for you.

Soooooo….what I wanted to tell you…because I have cried more tears this weekend than I have in a very long time while reading your comments….one after another that said I FEEL LIKE YOU ARE WRITING THIS JUST FOR ME……….that yes….you are THE ONE…….you are THE ONE that every one of these truths are being written for. When I was in the arms of LOVE when I was so lost, and when I am so lost….these are the very words that LOVE whispers into my ears to help me find my way back……….all that I am doing is writing them down and we are sending them out to YOU…and to KNOW that you KNOW in your heart of hearts that you really are the ONE they are written for means everything…….that sometimes we are the sheep in the fold…safe together with each other, and sometimes we are the ones who are lost…….and EVERY SINGLE ONE OF US IS WORTH GOING BACK FOR. YOU ARE WORTH BEING THE ONE.

So when things happen that may seem too good to be true…….and you let yourself believe for just a moment that it really was a little miracle that was orchestrated JUST FOR YOU…on your behalf for YOUR ONE AND ONLY BEAUTIFUL WILD LIFE…….please let yourself believe that it is true. And……..when you are strong enough….whenever you have the chance….and you see another one of the fold who may be lost…….please please please tell them what you know. Tell them that life is on their side…..that truth is on their side….that LOVE is on their side…..and especially that they are loved, known and important enough to be THE ONE.

YOU are the ONE….and I AM the ONE………..and I have always wondered what it meant when people would say WE ARE ALL ONE….. This is my way of believing that is true….we are not just all ONE….we are all THE ONE.

You are so very very very very very very very loved…….thank you for everything.

xoxoxo

melody (and kathy and all BGC staff)

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**** UPDATE we have decided to wait 12 more hours for the giveaway….so the entries will be closed on Tuesday morning at 7am instead of Monday night at 7pm….we wish we could send EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU a special gift…we love you all so much! xoxoxo

Sooooooooo…..yesterday, we hit another milestone…… we hit 30,000 Brave Girl Clubbers on Facebook…all of us, Brave Girls!!!! Can you believe it? The daily truth emails go out to even more of you than that! Every single brave girl all over the world is so important to us that we think of each of you, one by one, every day……..it’s a very big deal to us that our community has grown so much, so beautifully, so organically, so authentically…one soul by one soul….with the most beautiful souls we could ever have dreamed of knowing.

SOOOOOOO…to celebrate YOU and all of us…..we want to do a giveaway!!!!! We want to give away 30 tuitions to our SOULBOOK course (click HERE to learn all about it)….a course you will LOOOOOOVE…will get you in touch with your heart but is not quite as intense as one of our Restoration courses….and a course that you can take any time……I will tell you the super easy way to enter for one of the 30 spots at the end of the post….then, after these Soulbook photos…..and scroll down for THE OTHER AWESOME giveaway…..but most especially the announcement…because THIS IS THE FIRST TIME we are announcing this……….and it is YEARS IN THE MAKING stuff that we wanted to tell ALL OF YOU FIRST!!!!!! (SOMETHING YOU HAVE BEEN ASKING FOR….FOR A VERRRRRY LONG TIME) Part of the 30k celebration!!!!  wahoooo!!!!

Ok….so here’s Soulbook…..

This class ROCKS and I can’t wait for 30 more of you to take it with us! You will LOVE it and also learn techniques to use in your art forever more…..plus there’s lots of our fantastic friends in the videos making their own Soulbooks……the whole class is just a wonderful blast…..for reals…you are gonna love it…

NOW FOR THE VERY EXCITING NEWS (which you will only *hear* about on this blog post for the time being) and the awesome giveaway attached to it…..

Ok……first…..this news makes me feel like this:

I have been sitting painting, writing or designing on this huge project for  almost 3 months straight now. It has been intense. I have hardly gone anywhere or done anything else…….BUT IT HAS BEEN WORTH IT…..BECAUSE………

*********************DRUM*********************

**********************ROLL*********************

**********************PLEASE*********************

YES!!! YAY!!! It’s true!!!! We are finally ready to publish the daily truths into beautiful books to fill your soul……..and let me tell you….it took so long because we wanted them to be EXQUISITE!!!! Your soul is beautiful…so it has to be beautiful food for your beautiful soul. You will find 120 pages of full color beautiful hand-painted, hand made art wrapped around the birdie’s beautiful messages of soul truth, healing, encouragement and joy…….. this is volume one….but new volumes will be released regularly so that ALL of your favorite daily truths can be read and re-read…….and so that you will have a beautiful collection of beautiful books that will speak straight to the deepest part of you……….and so many of you have wanted to give the truths to others……so this is the most perfect gift too.

Soon….in our new shoppe will be lots of other soul-goodies that go with these beautiful books, too. (seriously these books are BEYOND beautiful)

We will be offering pre-orders soon….

BUT FOR NOW…..we are giving away 30 copies!!!!! (they will be shipped as soon as we get the books)

SOOOOOOOOOO….30 SOULBOOK tuitions and 30 A LITTLE BIRD TOLD ME books….that is 60 chances to win!!!

****HOW DO YOU WIN?****

Simply write in the comments what the daily truth messages have meant to you…..whether you read the daily emails or read them on Facebook or our blog….we want to know what they mean to you…..you are welcome to write about as many truths as you want to for more entries…..we will draw from your answers on Monday night at 7pm MST in USA.

We can’t wait to hear your answers!!!! YAYYYYY!!!! Thanks for celebrating with us!!!!

we love you all SOOOOOOOOO much…and everything we do would be worth it for just ONE of you….but 30,000+ of us strong is a beautiful thing too!!!! YAY!

xoxoxo

melody and kathy

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Dear brave brave girl,

Never forget that since the very beginning of time, and forever more, there has never been and never will be another person with your exact personality, your talents, your relationships and your influence on the people around YOU.

Your life is so important — the world is a better place because you are here. There are so many important things that will never be done unless YOU do them. YOU CAN DO IT!

You are so very loved…you really are.

xoxo

{This is an excerpt from the Brave Girls Club “a little butterfly told me – daily message for teens and girls”. Click to read this entire truth or to subscribe to receive A Little Butterfly Told Me in your email inbox.}

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Dear Courageous Girl,

Being brave does not mean that you are never afraid. Everyone s afraid of things, and everyone has all kinds of different fears. Being brave means that you do what you know is right in your heart EVEN WHEN you are afraid…especially when you are afraid.

You are growing into such a very brave young woman. Don’t ever feel like you are weak because you are afraid. But please, sweet girl…don’t ever ever ever let your fears control the way you love your life.

You are in charge of your fears and you always have the choice to go out and do whatever you want to do, even if you are afraid.

You are one phenomenal girl.

Now go out and have a brave day!

xoxo

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